Archive for Spirit Health

106 - To build a christ centered home - site

To build a Christ-centered home, you go first (Episode 106]

Posted by Carey 
· Tuesday, March 20th, 2018 

This is the last of the “chapters” in my Family Foundations series, aimed at helping you create a Christ-centered home.  In case you haven’t noticed I want to draw two important things to your attention.

#1: So far I’ve said very little about many of the things typically addressed in a series about a Christ-centered home and family.

For example, I’ve hardly mentioned…

  • Marriage
  • Parenting
  • Home life
  • Finances
  • Family standards
  • Discipline of children
  • Communication
  • and the list could go on…

Of course, I’ve deliberately neglected those topics, and here’s why:

Those areas are not where you should begin when considering what it means to have a Christ-centered home.  

They are the areas of home and family life that will demonstrate the fruit of a Christ-centered home, but not the sources of the fruit.  Christ Himself is the source of Christ-centered fruit, and you MUST remember that as you begin thinking about what it will take for you to have a Christ-centered home.

Why is it so important to remember?  It goes back to the issue of foundations, as Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-29.    In the final verses (28-29) you can see that the people of His day noticed something different about His teaching.
And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.
Jesus’ teaching doesn’t just carry authority, His teaching IS authority.  It is the very word of God, along with the rest of the Bible… and the life that is built on His teaching is a life that is well-founded, built on the strongest of foundations.  Jesus’ way and teaching is the only solid thing that your home or family can be built on, so you must start there.  THAT is the beginning of a Christ-centered home.

#2: In this series, so far I’ve focused primarily on YOU, as an individual, not on your family as a group.

Each of us is first of all, responsible for ourselves before we truly can be responsible for others.  Your own life is your primary area of stewardship out of which all the others flow.  If you are not the best you Christ intends you to be, then the family you are to lead, influence, or contribute to will not be the family Christ intends it to be.  In other words, a Christ-centered home is not possible if those who lead it are not Christ-centered themselves.

The word order in the name of this website reflects this truth:

Christian comes first.  Before all else you must be a Christian – a Christ-follower, a Christ-like one, a disciple of the King of Kings and LORD of Lords.  This is more than a religious title you pin on, it is your identity.  Everything else should flow out of who you are in Christ.  Stay with me on the blog, and we’ll explore that issue a TON more.

Home comes second.  The relationships within your home, beginning with the marriage relationship (with the exception of a single-parent home), are some of the largest stones at the bottom of the walls of your Christ-centered home.  The stability of relationship that exists between those leading the home is fundamental to the home’s stability.  Don’t get these first two switched around… a home centered on a marriage instead of on Christ, is a home focused on an idol.

and Family comes last (but is often where we begin in thinking about these issues).  Your family as a whole can and should be Christ-centered, in how it functions, how it communicates, how it expresses Christ for the world to see, etc.  But it can’t and won’t if you get the order of focus switched around.  Put Christ first in your life… and then you’ll see more clearly to help the others in your family put Him first in their lives.

Christian – Home – Family.  That’s the order.  It’s where I began with this series (and this website), and that’s where I end – because it’s the truth that guides and establishes the foundations of a Christ-centered home.

Q: What will you do with what you’ve learned so far?

Q: How will you begin ensuring that Christ is central to your life?

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102-the-key-to-raising-godly-children

The KEY to raising godly children (OR: God-fearing children and the parents who raise them ) [Ep 102]

Posted by Carey 
· Thursday, December 14th, 2017 

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Why would I throw in my thoughts on such a popular and written-to-death sort of subject?  Because what I consider to be the KEY to raising godly children has not been said enough, or loudly enough.

The key to raising godly children is to first be a godly parent.

Don’t hear me saying you have to be perfect. Don’t hear me saying you have to make no mistakes.

DO hear me saying,

  • your relationship with Jesus had better be authentic, not just something that you do on Sundays.
  • It had better be something more than religious actions.
  • It had better be more than moralistic teaching and corresponding rules.
  • It must be an ongoing, vibrant, up-and-down-but-always-headed-upward RELATIONSHIP with Jesus.

Anything less will smell of hypocrisy, and it will absolutely stink in the nostrils of your children. You can’t fool them. They will know if you are a fake, and they will know if you really mean and live what you say.

Your kids want and need the real thing… Jesus. The best way you can give them Jesus is to give Jesus all of yourself.

The LORD has shown me this personally. I’ve seen the teachable, eager hearts of my children in response to my own honest struggles to know the LORD. And I’ve seen disinterested, doubtful responses when the churchy words coming out of my mouth don’t match the attitude of my heart.

What does it look like?

  • Your children need to hear you talk about Jesus as if He is real to you… in the day to day circumstances of life.
  • Your children need to hear you pray in a way that shows that you truly KNOW the Person you are talking with.
  • Your children need to see your love for Jesus carried out in obvious ways – commitment to a local church, genuine worship, and a desire to honor Him in all you do.
  • Your children need to know by your own devotion that prayer and Bible reading are not just “things you do,” but the lifeblood of your existence.
  • Your children need to see you so absorbed by Jesus that they want to take part in something that is so obviously wonderful.

How to raise godly children

Begin with the last half of this post title. Start by considering the spiritual health of the pare nt(s) who raise your children.  Here are some questions to help you begin…

  • Do YOU love Jesus (the LORD your God) with all YOUR heart, all YOUR soul, all YOUR mind, and all YOUR strength? (Mark 12:30) Or is there something else (spouse, work, hobbies, money, etc.) that you love more?
  • Do YOU love your neighbor (irritating co-worker, demanding boss, pesky neighbor, weird relative) as you love yourself? (Mark 12:31)
  • Do YOU seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness? (Matthew 6:33) Or are you more concerned with bank accounts, life-insurance, retirement funds, and upward mobility?
  • Do YOU set apart Christ as LORD in YOUR own heart? (1 Peter 3:15)

Start there. Go on by asking the Spirit of God to help you begin moving more diligently toward Him. Ask Him to GIVE you a heart that seeks Him first and foremost. He delights to answer those types of prayers.

Don’t even think about raising godly children if you are not first and genuinely seeking to be a godly parent.

Q: What do YOU need to do in order to move closer to Christ as a parent?

PIN THIS!

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I give you Jesus cover300

This Christmas, I give you Jesus [4-minute audio inspiration]

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, December 19th, 2014 

Christmas can be a hectic time.

But I don’t have to tell you that, do I?

Gifts to buy, cards to mail, parties to attend, decorating and baking to do… If we’re not careful, the celebration can outpace the meaning.

Here’s my 4-minute Christmas-time reset for you… a chance for you to:

  • Press the “play” button below
  • Close your eyes
  • Take a deep breath
  • Soak in the truth
  • Reconnect with the meaning behind the celebration.

I’d love to hear your feedback and thoughts on how this short audio has helped you this Christmas season.

I’d also love it if you shared it with someone else who could use a “reset” too.

Thanks friends. Enjoy the REASON for the celebration more than the celebration.

 


Music by Kevin MacLeod over at www.Incompetech.com

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life change

Clarity, Certainty, Confidence – life changing benefits of scripture

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, September 26th, 2014 

Life changing. It’s an over-used word in our day and age.

Everyone from business gurus to doctors are touting the “life changing” effects of their system, program, or method.

It’s enough to make you a skeptic for life.

But don’t go there just yet. There truly are some life changing things in the world, and scripture is one of them.

I want to quickly outline 3 things that come from a right knowledge of the scriptures that are truly life changing.

1 Clarity

Yes, there are parts of the Bible that are less than clear. I know that. I get that.

But overall, the Bible is God’s revelation to us about things we wouldn’t know otherwise.

Think that one through for a minute: God who knows everything has “revealed” things to us through the scriptures. That’s an incredible gift.

Sure, it takes the hard work we call “study” to truly understand it sometimes, but what do you expect when God-sized truths need to be understood by human-sized minds?

The scriptures are intended to provide “clarity” to us about things that are beyond us. Things like…

  • How to be made right with God.
  • What God thinks about us.
  • What God has done for us (way beyond our salvation).
  • How we are to live in the world (both in terms of proper behavior and in terms of what resources to use to do it).

I want clarity on those things. Do you?

If so, scripture is the only place you’ll find it.

2 Certainty

How many things in life are you truly certain of?

  • That your children will not rebel and go off the deep end?
  • That your spouse will remain faithful?
  • That your income is secure?
  • That your health is guaranteed?

But…

 

life changing word of God

 

3 Confidence

There’s a progression happening here that you may not have noticed.

Clarity or understanding brings certainty. Certainty brings confidence.

When we are able to understand, know, and rely on what God has said to us, we can live in a way that baffles the world and brings great stability to us, no matter what challenges or obstacles may come our way.

That’s because we’re able to move out, proactively, into the storms and trials of life with an underlying peace that supports us through everything.

We don’t have to be timid.

We don’t have to be afraid.

We don’t have to wish upon a star, or rub a rabbit’s foot, or say any kind of mantra or magic spell.

We have confidence based on what the God of all the universe has said.

Let me say it another way…

Understanding + Trust = Active faith.

And it comes through time spent reading, studying, and internalizing God’s word.

My encouragement to you… no, my challenge to you is to become more intentional, more aggressive about getting God’s revealed truth into your mind and heart, and to take your family with you.

There are many ways you can go about it, but here are a couple that I’ve found helpful.

Finally, here’s a motivational video from John Piper. In 8 simple statements he outlines the benefits of memorizing scripture.

Don’t skip the video. Take the time to watch it.

Now.

 

How are you going to act? What are you going to do to provide life changing clarity, certainty, and confidence to your family?
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how to stop family conflict

Podcast 90 – How to stop family conflicts

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, September 24th, 2014 

How to stop family conflicts.

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

Family conflicts can make life inside the home horrendous. Nobody wants to be around when arguing, fighting, and complaining are the norm.

So how do you get past the arguing?

You get past it by preventing it in the first place. And you do that through working hard toward every person in the family having a right relationship with God.

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Monday mindset-compassion

Monday Mindset: Compassion

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, September 22nd, 2014 

I have to admit that I’ve come to see the value and need for compassion toward others far later in life than I should have.

I’m typically a “suck it up and get to work” kind of person when it comes to how I view others. But I’m coming to see that though that may be a very “American” attitude (rugged and individualistic), it’s not a very Christ-like one.

So, I’ve been intentionally working on seeing others through the eyes of compassion.

Here are some thoughts that have helped me as I’ve considered the issue:

When I understand and embrace the golden rule, compassion is a natural result (Matthew 7:12).

Think of this this way…

  • I struggle with sin in a variety of areas. I hate it. I fight it. I want other people to cut me some slack in those areas because I’m really, really, really trying to overcome those areas of sin.
  • Other people have the same kind of struggle, and want the same kind of mercy.
  • Compassion recognizes that and gives it to them.

If I take the time to understand where people are coming from, compassion comes more easily.

None of us has become who we are in a vacuum. We’ve been dramatically impacted and shaped by things like…

  • The sins of our parents, which could include things like neglect or abuse.
  • Tragedies we’ve experienced.
  • Disappointments we’ve had to accept.
  • Fears that have come true.

Stop and think about YOUR personality quirks and personal sins. How has your past fed and formed them?

Now consider this: Every person you lock eyes with has the same kind of baggage from their past, their hurts, their experiences, and their fears.

How does that impact your ability to have compassion on them?

We are all victims

Hear me out on this one.

I’m not saying we bear no responsibility for the state of our lives and souls.

I am saying we’ve all been deceived, mistreated, and attacked repeatedly by the enemy of our souls, satan.

We are all victims of his trickery and evil on one level or another, to varying degrees.

The state we are in is in large measure due to his influence.

So when another person acts like a sin-soaked bone head, it helps me to remember that they’ve been under attack by an enemy far stronger than them.

That reminder helps me have compassion. It helps me pray for them instead of wish them away or become irritated.

Helping your family have compassion

Here are some ideas for the kinds of conversations that will help your children develop hearts of compassion.

Discuss the terrible conditions of the world, from starving children to oppressed people groups. Talk with your family about what it must be like to be in those people’s shoes. Pray for them together.

Voice of the martyrs (http://www.persecution.org) is a very helpful resource to focus your discussion on those being persecuted because they are Christians.  Their resources include a podcast, books, posters, and lots of other stuff. One of their websites is designed specifically for children (http://www.kidsofcourage.com/)

Think together about the people you know. Talk about what they’re going through – divorce, abuse, job loss, etc. Try to imagine what life might be like for them. Decide together how you can be a blessing to them.

Discuss why compassion toward others is important. Here are some passages to help you keep your conversation biblically centered.

  • Matthew 7:12
  • Luke 10:30-35
  • Galatians 6:2
  • Ephesians 4:32
  • 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14
  • James 2:14-17
  • 1 Peter 4:10
  • 1 John 4:7-21

Take the time to determine that you WILL encourage compassion in your family this week.

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How-to-stop-sinning

Podcast 89 – How to stop sinning

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, September 17th, 2014 

How to stop sinning. Really.

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

Yes, really. I know we’d all like to know how to stop sinning, and the truth is that the Bible gives us plain, simple instructions for how to do it.

But even though it’s simple, it’s not easy.

Every believer in Christ has the opportunity to apply what John says (1 John) and stop sinning. It’s a daily, step by step discipline we have to develop.

This episode of the podcast is going to highlight the only path to stop sinning, and give some tips on how to move in that direction.

 

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Monday mindset - worship

Monday Mindset: Worship

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, September 15th, 2014 

I once heard Chuck Swindoll say that we worship God for 4 basic things.

His PERSON

His PLANS

His WORD

and

His WORKS.

I tend to agree with Him.

Worship is a response to God. It’s a response to what He’s done in one of those 4 areas.

In this “Monday mindset” I’m encouraging you to talk with your family about worship. Here is a list of starter questions to get you going:

  • What does the word “worship” mean?
  • Is worship only about singing or music?
  • Why do you think worship is important for us? What does it do in us or for us?
  • Give me some examples of how we can worship God for who He is (PERSON)?
  • What are some ways we might worship God for what He’s done (PLANS)?
  • Can you think of ways we could worship God for the things He’s said to us (WORD)?
  • Are there ways we can worship God for what He’s done (WORKS)?
  • Do you think we can worship God throughout the day as we go about our normal routine?

To wrap up… here are some ideas for how you can follow up on the topic of worship throughout the week:

  • Each morning, give your family members the assignment of watching for reasons to worship as they go through the day.
  • Spend some time around the supper table each evening worshipping God for things your family members have noticed.
  • Be sure to share your own observations. Your kids will learn a ton by hearing the kinds of things you noticed.
  • Pick out some good videos or songs that your family can sing in worship and do it one evening.
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In my opinion, Chris Tomlin is a modern-day hymn writer. His songs are filled with deep doctrines from the word of God. This song highlights that God created us to be worshippers. Enjoy.

 

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corporate_prayer_pain_in_the

Corporate prayer is a pain in the…

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, September 12th, 2014 

In my entire Christian life (going on 43 years, now) corporate prayer has never been easy.

That statement comes from a guy who…

  • Has been in church since he was 5 years old.
  • Has served as a professional “clergy” for over 20 years.
  • Has attended more prayer meetings than movies.
  • Has taught people about prayer and how to pray.
  • Has encouraged people to pray, out loud, in public, repeatedly.

Even so, I find corporate prayer to be difficult, unnatural, and awkward on a number of levels.

  • The temptation to “perform” is always there.

There’s special phrases and words we use that are never spoken in any other context.

“We beseech You, oh LORD…”

“…lead, guide, and direct us and help us to do thy will…”

“…we bind Satan…”

I wonder, who are we trying to impress? It can’t be God. He knows us too well. Because of that I’m convinced He’s not very impressed with any of us. So it has to be the other folks in the room we’re trying to dazzle.

corporate_prayer_self_conscious

  • The desire to not sound stupid is way too strong.

This one’s closely related to the first one, but it’s different.

Yes, it’s self-conscious praying, but mainly because I’m praying to the wrong person (or people).

If I’m truly praying, I’m speaking to God, right? So why am I worried about what the other people in the room might think about how I sound or what I’m saying?

On top of that, if it’s God I’m speaking to, I suspect that most of the time the prayers I send up to Him sound like the rantings of a 3 year old. Cute, but pretty ignorant.

So the reality is that I truly may sound stupid to the Person I’m speaking to… but that’s OK. Like any good parent, He’s got plenty of grace for that.

And He actually likes that we’re talking to Him at all.

  • The distractions are brutal.

Why is it that when I bow my head to pray my brain suddenly goes on autopilot. You too? My thoughts wander aimlessly through the landscape of memory and trivia the moment the eyes close. I think there’s a switch in my neck someplace that switches my brain from real-life-adult mode, to grab-a-random-thought mode.

Here’s a quick sample:

  • That was a crazy movie I watched last night.
  • My stomach hurts.
  • My sister will love that goofy cat video I saw on Facebook yesterday.
  • What is that smell?
  • How many times has the guy praying used the word “just?” 1-2-3-4…
  • My mother’s french fries with white gravy on top. Oh, I haven’t had that in so long!
  • I need new shoes. These are falling apart.
  • 27. Wow, that guy said “just” 27 times in his two sentence prayer.
  • It’s my turn to pray? “We beseech You oh LORD, just to…”

Corporate prayer is a real pain in the brain, and the heart.

I want to do it well. I want my interaction with God in the presence of others to be genuine, full of faith, and truly effective (James 5:16).

I want what I pray to connect with the heart of God and benefit those who hear me praying. But all the struggles make it a very painful experience.

Can you relate? Do you think your spouse or your kids can relate?

It’s clear, this is a multi-generational, non-gender-specific problem that we all need to face.

I want to give you some hard-learned but helpful suggestions.

Moving corporate prayer in a different direction

As you can tell, this issue has been percolating in my mind for some time. I’ve considered it a lot because it’s been an issue for me a lot. The answers I’ve discovered are not life-altering or mind-blowing, but they are helpful… at least to me. I trust they will be helpful to you too.

1 Admit the problem(s).

As always, none of us can address an issue we aren’t willing to acknowledge. The first step to change is the humility to admit that we need to change.

2 Ask God to help you in your praying.

Strangely enough, we don’t typically ask God to help us ask Him for help.

It’s OK, you can read that sentence again. It is a bit confusing.

Something about the idea seems a bit odd. But it’s not. We need His help for everything, right? So if we need help in praying, it makes sense to ask Him for it.

And what do you know… He’ll answer.

3 Begin the work.

Adjusting our bad habits concerning corporate prayer is going to be a lot of hard work. But that shouldn’t be a strange thing to us as followers of Christ.

Faith without works is dead (James 2:26).

That means that if we really believe God will help us with this issue, then we’ve got to begin acting as if He’s going to help us.

What does that look like? Here’s some ideas:

  • Work hard (with the Spirit’s help) to set your mind on the fact that you’re talking to God, not the other people in the room. Every time you begin thinking about the other people, ask the LORD to help you think of Him instead.
  • When it’s your turn to pray, speak naturally, as if you’re talking to a friend (because you are).
  • With the strength the Spirit of God supplies, discipline yourself to pay close attention to the things others pray. Even repeat their words silently in your mind to help you focus on their meaning. Consciously agree with their requests, saying silent words of affirmation to the Father.
  • If it’s helpful, even speak out quiet words of agreement to help you maintain focus: “Yes, LORD. Do it LORD. Amen, Jesus. Do your will Father.” “Quiet” is a very important word here; you don’t want to be a distraction.
  • When you notice your mind has wandered, instead of beating yourself up, confess, repent, and ask the LORD to help you reengage. He’s gracious to forgive (1 John 1:9) and will be faithful to do all those things.

I’d love to hear what your experience has been with corporate prayer. And I’d love to hear any suggestions you might have. Use the comments below.

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I really mean everything above. I’m serious about it. Really.

But I also think there’s plenty of humor in our struggle to pray well. The video below is from Michael, Jr., a great Christian comedian who I respect a ton. Enjoy.

 

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God is light 600

Podcast 88 – God is light, and what it means for your family!

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, September 10th, 2014 

God is Light: A lesson for Christian families

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

God seems to love illustrations and symbols. The scriptures are full of them: sheep, goats, seeds, plants, vines, brides and bridegrooms, light, darkness – you get the idea.

This episode uses the biblical illustration of light to show you a fun and effective way that you can use light to teach your family that God is light, and what that means for their lives.

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Monday mindset-peace of mind

Monday Mindset: Peace of mind

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, September 8th, 2014 

Many people say that they have great “peace of mind.”

They say it when things are going well, when they’ve been able to overcome a great obstacle, or are content with where they are in life.

But they really don’t have “peace of mind.”

What they have is “peace of feel.”

What?

Everything FEELS good to them. It has nothing to do with their mind (typically).

Peace of mind is not a feeling.

Let me say that again… and take a few seconds to let what I’m saying sink into your mind and heart.

Peace of mind is NOT a feeling.

Feelings fluctuate based on the circumstance. Feelings can change due to hormonal or chemical reasons.

Peace based on feelings is not dependable.

True peace of mind is a “knowing,” not a feeling.

The kind of peace of mind all of us need is based entirely on truth, not on what we feel.

Truth is reliable, unchanging, dependable. You can count on it to be the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

As long as you know and hang on to truth, you can have true peace of mind. Let’s look at a scriptural example of how this works…

And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.   – Colossians 3:15-16

  1. We are to LET the peace of Christ rule in our hearts. Can you think of a better source of peace?
  2. We are called to that kind of peace. It’s normal, expected for believers in Christ to have that kind of peace. Thankfulness is a natural result.
  3. We are to LET the word of Christ dwell in us richly. I believe this is where true peace comes from. We know the promises of God and the reality of what He’s done for us through Jesus and from that knowledge flows a “knowing,” a confidence, a peace.
  4. We grow in that rich peace through teaching, admonishment, and worship with other believers. The church is important to us having and keeping true peace.

Do you see that true peace of mind is really faith in action?

  • You hear and receive God’s truth.
  • You believe it.
  • You rest confidently in it (that’s true peace).

peace of mind like holding daddy's hand

Teaching your family how to have true peace of mind

There are so many practical ways you can teach and model genuine peace of mind. Here are just a few…

  • Reading and memorizing scriptural promises together. This is where you get the truth inside you.
  • Discuss those truths on a real-life, practical level.
  • Share situations you experience where God proves those truths in your life.
  • Express how God has taught you to trust Him more.
  • Talk about what it could be like to rest confidently in the promises of God.

The following song is an example of the peace of mind that God’s truth can bring to our lives.

Watch the lyrics carefully. Notice the reality with which the writer knows the pains of life. He’s not a stranger to disappointment, suffering, or pain.

But he has confidence, nonetheless. He has confidence because of the truth of what God has said.

That is peace of mind. The kind you want. The kind I want. The kind our children need.

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non-christian family

How to pray for your non-Christian family members

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, September 5th, 2014 

Praying for non-Christians is an important habit to develop as a family.

It demonstrates for everyone (parents and kids alike), some of the most important character traits that Christ wants to grow in us:

  • consideration
  • love
  • compassion
  • faith in God
  • and the list goes on…

As you develop habits of prayer as a family, you’ll begin to see God’s answers, which encourages your faith all the more!

praying for non-christian family

 

Whether it’s family members, friends, neighbors, or co-workers, you want to make sure you’re praying in a way that is aligned with God’s will.

One of the most powerful ways to pray is by using scripture to guide your prayers. I’ve written about this in my book, “Recharge” and on blog posts in the past.

Specifically, here’s a passage that my mother-in-love pointed out to me that is powerfully helpful in setting your family’s mindset on what is actually needed and happening when you pray for unsaved people. It’s Jesus’ words to Paul when he was being told what his role as an Apostle would be about…

But rise and stand upon your feet, for I have appeared to you for this purpose, to appoint you as a servant and witness to the things in which you have seen me and to those in which I will appear to you,
delivering you from your people and from the Gentiles—to whom I am sending you to open their eyes, so that they may turn from darkness to light and from the power of Satan to God, that they may receive forgiveness of sins and a place among those who are sanctified by faith in me. – Acts 26:16-18

There are 3 primary things we need to understand as we pray for non-believing people:

1 Their eyes need to be opened.

Every person is blind, blind, blind to their need for Christ. We need to pray that their eyes will be opened. We need to pray specifically that God will open their eyes – to their need and to His sufficiency as their Savior. If this doesn’t happen, salvation is not possible.

2 They need to be turned from darkness to light.

The allure of the dark world in which we live is powerful. Unsaved people are not only blind and lost, they don’t realize they are blind or lost. They enjoy the darkness. They feel like it’s best, right, and good. We need to be praying that God will turn people away form darkness, that He’ll dispel the illusion, that He’ll spoil the fantasy it offers.

3 They need to be turned from the power of Satan to the power of God.

The problem is not only that people are blind. And it’s not only that they love darkness. People are also held captive by the power of Satan. We need to ask God to release them from his grip. It’s what Jesus came to do (1 John 3:8).

Praying in this way will strengthen your family’s faith.

A biblically-informed prayer of this kind takes the focus off of our inability to change people. It shows us that God is the only one who can do what is needed to save a human soul.

This kind of prayer helps us see the all-sufficient power of Jesus’ death on the cross and gives us hope that those lost family members or friends can be set free.

Our job is to pray.

Our job is to keep praying.

And our job as parents is to teach our children that our God delights to save people. He delights to make Himself glorious in doing so. And He delights to increase our faith by answering our prayers for the salvation of our family and friends.

Go to top

Here’s a great song by Jill Paquette (I’d love to see her in concert). This song is about a lost friend, “Katie Lynn,” and the struggle that happens when we care so much about a friend or family member and don’t know what to do… and still don’t take the time to pray.

 

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30 day bible saturation

Podcast 87 – 30 day Bible saturation for spiritual growth

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, September 3rd, 2014 

30 day Bible saturation for spiritual growth

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

There are a million different ways you could get into the scriptures and get the scriptures into you. But here’s one that’s honestly new to me, taught to me by my daughter. I call it the 30 day Bible saturation, and it’s really a cool way to get yourself immersed in some of the main themes of scripture in a very contextual way.

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Mondaymindset-bible-verse

Monday Mindset: The power of a Bible verse

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, September 1st, 2014 

Don’t ever underestimate the power of a Bible verse

Even more importantly, don’t underestimate the power of the God who spoke it.

One of the primary means God uses to do work in our lives is through those Bible verses we take so much for granted.

And if you’re raising your children in a way that includes regular church attendance (you are, aren’t you?), then you run the risk of scripture becoming too familiar.

Yes, too familiar.

Scripture only has power when it has meaning to the person reading it. Its truth has to soak in to the soul, transform the mind, and make a difference in how the person thinks and lives.

That’s when the power of a bible verse is seen most clearly.

Help your family understand the power of a Bible verse this week:

Use the following Bible verse(s) to lead your family into a deeper understanding of the valuable, life-changing resource the scriptures can be for them.

All Scripture is breathed out by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, equipped for every good work. – 1 Timothy 3:16-17

DISCUSSION QUESTIONS:

  • What do you think it means that the Bible is “breathed out by God?”
  • What does it mean if something is “profitable?”
  • So how is the Bible profitable to us?
  • What kind of people need teaching? How important is it that the person teaching knows what they are talking about?
  • What kind of teacher do you think God is?
  • What is reproof and correction?
  • Do you like to be corrected? Why or why not?
  • Why is correction good for us?
  • What does it mean to be trained for righteousness?
  • How do you think God uses the Bible to train us for righteousness?
  • What is God’s purpose for giving us the Bible? (look at the end of the verse)

 

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spiritual training for your children

Spiritual training for your children doesn’t have to be hard, even if you’re starting late

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, August 29th, 2014 

SPIRITUAL TRAINING FOR YOUR KIDS DOESN’T HAVE TO BE HARD…

I’ve heard the story, many times. By God’s grace, a parent has come to faith in Christ later in life.

They change course mid-stream so to speak, in their own life and in their family. There’s a new mind-set and new way of living that they’re trying to implement in their household. In many cases, they are doing it after years of heading in the opposite direction.

Many parents who are in that boat feel that they don’t have much to offer their children, spiritually speaking. They don’t know how to lead their children spiritually because they are still learning, themselves. Sound familiar?

What do you do?

How can you teach them when you’re still very much in growth mode yourself?

All it takes is for you to stay at least a few steps ahead of them. I’ve been learning this lesson in a different context, lately. Maybe my situation will help you get what I’m talking about.

Much of what I do to provide income for my family, (with this website and and with some of my other endeavors) is teaching-related. I teach people how to do a variety of of things. In some cases, as I’m developing my teaching resources, I realize that I don’t know the process or information as well as I should.

So what do I do, give up and say I can’t teach it?

Nope. I learn it.

Then I teach it.

We all know there is value to the kind of teaching that comes from years of experience, but it’s not always necessary.

The way I see it, is this: If I’m truly learning the information or skill, on a heart level, I think it could even be more effective for me, a “newbie” to teach it, because I see first-time-learner issues much more clearly than the seasoned veteran. As a result, I’m able to speak a “language” that first-time-learners can grab hold of more easily.

SPIRITUAL TRAINING FOR YOUR CHILDREN CAN HAPPEN THE SAME WAY

spiritual-training

As you learn something new in your spiritual walk you are able to honestly share it with your kids, struggles and all.

They see the genuine nature of your growth and relationship with the LORD, and it gives them a model to follow. It shows them how to handle confusion and difficulty and it demonstrates how to apply the new truths God has to teach you (and them).

You’re being an example, a model, and therefore a guide. Isn’t that what you’re wanting in the first place?

If that’s where you find yourself, here’s what I suggest:

  • Make sure YOU are on track with the LORD, first. I have a couple of different resources (here) that can help you build a regular habit of time with Him.
  • Talk about what the LORD is teaching you. Your kids need to see that your spiritual walk is genuine and that it matters to you. They need to see the change that’s happened in “real life.”
  • Share your struggles and your victories. Your children don’t need a sterling example. They need to see how a real person walks out a life of faith in our very fallen world. They need to see what humility looks like, how a teachable spirit is formed, and how God can do His work in a flawed human being. You’re the perfect candidate to teach them those things.
  • Talk openly about their spiritual condition. Use the experiences you share from your own life as spring-boards to ask about their lives. Younger children may need help understanding what you’re asking. Older kids may need gentle prodding, especially if you’ve not talked on a spiritual level much in the past. But as you are consistent in showing them that spiritual topics matter to you, they’ll begin to be curious.
  • Pray for God to continue guiding you, as you guide them. The more you depend on the LORD, the more you will see His strength come through in your weaknesses. Trust Him to do His work in you, for the sake of your kids.

Spiritual training for your kids doesn’t have to be hard. All you need to do is to continue faithfully walking with the LORD, and out of genuine concern for your children, share the process with them.

The video below may not be your preferred style of music, but the message is powerful on this point. We only have one life, given to us by God. As His redeemed children we are expected to make it count. Your children need you to make sure that your life counts for their sake, to lead them into radical faith for generations.

Don’t Waste Your Life (lyrics below the video).

 

 

I know a lot of people out there scared they’re gonna die
A couple of them thinking they’ll be livin’ in the sky
But while I’m here livin’ man I gotta ask why, what am here fo’ I gotta figure out
Waste my life
No I gotta make it count
If Christ is real then what am I gonna do about
Everything in Luke 12: 15 down to 21
You’ve really gotta go and check it out
Paul said if Christ ain’t resurrected we’ve wasted our lives
Well that implies that our life’s built around Jesus being alive
Everyday I’m living tryin’ to show the world why
Christ is more than everything you’ll ever try
Better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any women and men that you admire
It ain’t no lie

We’re created for Him
Outta the dust he made us for Him
Elects us and he saves us for Him
Jesus comes and he raises for Him
Magnify the Father why bother with something lesser
He made us so we could bless Him
To the world we confess Him
Resurrects Him
So I know I got life
Matter fact better man I know I got Christ
If you don’t see His ways in my days and nights
You can hit my brakes you can stop my life
Then I lost my rights
I lost my life
Forget the money cars and toss that ice
The cost is Christ
And they could never offer me anything on the planet that would cost that price.

Armed and dangerous
So the devil just can’t hang with us
Christian youth them will stand with us
Living and driven
Given a vision
Fullfillin’ the commission he handed us
London to Los Angeles
The rap evangelist
My daddy wouldn’t abandon us
I gotta backpack full of tracts and I keep it on the Johnny mac
So are you ready to jam with us
So let’s go, give me the word an let’s go
Persecution let’s go
Tribulation let’s go
Across the nation let’s go
Procrastination let’s go
Hung on the cross in the cold
Died for the young and the old
Can’t say you never know
Heaven knows how many souls are going to hell or to heaven so we gotta go in to get them

Suffer?
Yeah, do it for Christ!
You’re trying to figure what to do with your life
If you make a lot of money hope you’re doing it right
Because the money is God’s you better steward it right
And stay focused
You ain’t got no ride
Your life ain’t wrapped up in what you drive
The clothes you wear, the job you work
The color your skin naw you’re a Christian first
People get to living for a job
Make a little money start living for a car
Get ’em a wife a house kids and a dog
Then they retire they’re living high on the hog
But guess what they didn’t ever really live at all
To live is Christ and that’s Paul I recall
To die is gain so for Christ we give it all
He’s the treasure you’ll never find in a mall
Your money your singleness marriage talent your time
They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine
That’s why it’s Christ in my rhymes
That’s why it’s Christ all the time
See my whole world is built around Him He’s the life in my lines
I refused to waste my life
He’s too true to chase that ice
Here’s my gifts and time
‘Cause I’m constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ
If he’s truly raised to life
Then this news should change your life
And by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights.

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Sexual sin and the Christian family

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, August 22nd, 2014 

We live in a tremendously sexualized culture. Sexual sin is a natural result.

Sexual sins are some of the things that destroy families and their ability to have radical faith for generations.

But sex is not the real issue behind sexual sin.

Really, it’s not.

Sexual sin happens because believers who once walked close with their LORD (or perhaps never did) have lost their joy in Him. That is where every sexual sin begins, without fail.

So how does our sexualized culture figure into that? By pushing sex (a naturally appealing thing) into the forefront of our minds and attention, to the degree that we become more enamoured with it (a created thing) than we do the joy that comes from walking closely with our LORD (the Creator).

trading jesus for sexual sin is like trading the popsicle for the stickDo you see the tragedy of that?

We’re trading the popsicle for the stick, preferring a kazoo over a stradivarius, delighting in the thing instead of the One who created it.

Are you in the danger zone?

Don’t answer this question by looking at the presence or absence of sexually titillating stuff in your world.

Answer it by how passionately drawn to Jesus you are.

He is the antidote and prevention for sexual sin, and the closer you are to Him, the farther from sexual sins you will find yourself.

So, are you in the danger zone? Are you?

Resist the temptation to point to your church attendance, or Bible reading, or faithfulness to serve in church or the community, or accountability software on your computer as “reasons” why you’re not in the danger zone.

Those things are good and likely wise things to have as a part of your life, but they don’t matter a bit when it comes to avoiding sexual temptation — not really.

What matters is how closely you are walking with Jesus, how consistently you are abiding in Him.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not abide in me che is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. – John 15:1-6

 

sexual sin from not abiding

What will you do to get yourself to a place of sexual safety?

What will you do to intentionally, deliberately, in suffering if you must, get back on track in your relationship with Jesus?

There’s no price too high. Really, there’s not. If you don’t draw near to Jesus, your enemy the devil will get you with some kind of temptation. It may not be sexual sin, but you can mark my words, he will get you so wrapped up in something sinful that you won’t know what happened.

Draw near to Jesus.

For His sake.

For your sake.

For the sake of your children.

For the sake of their children, and their children, and their children.

Your passionate pursuit of Jesus today will set the course for generations who come after you. Isn’t it worth it?

This issue really comes down to what you love.

What DO you love?

The sensational? The fantastic? The immediate? The trendy? The popular? The fun? What others think of you?

You’ve got to love Jesus more. You’ve got to.

The video below is by a guy named Derek Webb. He used to sing with Caedmon’s Call, years back. Since then he’s released quite a few of his own solo albums, many of them very controversial, mainly because he’s willing to tackle some tough issues in a straight-forward way. You won’t agree with everything he writes and sings about, but on this one, he’s got it right.

The song is called, “The Spirit VS The Kick Drum.”

Here’s my challenge to you: Listen/watch the video and follow along with the lyrics below it. Try to get Derek’s point that many, many things compete for our love and allegiance, but Jesus has to be number one.

Then decide what you will do to make Jesus the greatest desire of your life.

Go to top

 

“A-one and a-two and a-chick-a-boom-a-chick.”

I don’t want the Spirit; I want the kick drum
I don’t want the Spirit; I want the kick drum
I know how it works, so I’m not dumb
I don’t want the Spirit; I want the kick drum

Like sex without love
Like peace without the Dove
Like a crime scene without the blood
I don’t want the Spirit; you know I want a kick drum

I don’t want the Son; I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Son; I want a jury of peers
I’m scared of who’s going to see my tears
I don’t want the Son; I want a jury of peers

Like lies without the truth
Like wine without the fruit
Like a skydive without the chute
I don’t want the Son; you know I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Spirit; you know I want a kick drum

“Oh, groove with me baby”

I don’t want the Father; I want a vending machine
I don’t want the Father; I want a vending machine
I know what I want, if you know what I mean
I don’t want the Father; I want a vending machine

Like heaven without gates
Like hell without flames
Like life without pain
I don’t want the Father; you know I want a vending machine
I don’t want the Son; you know I want a jury of peers
I don’t want the Spirit; you know I want a kick drum
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I can't do this anymore

Podcast 86- I can’t do this anymore! True or False?

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, August 20th, 2014 

I Can’t Do This Anymore! True or False?

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE – TRUE OR FALSE?

In this episode of the podcast we’ll be considering a very common statement I hear from people who have lived for many years in a painful or hurtful circumstance. “I can’t do this anymore.” I know how you feel, but is it true? Well, yes and no.

I can’t count the number of times I’ve either heard someone say, or have said myself, “I can’t do this anymore.” We say it after a prolonged time of endurance, when the difficulty, frustration, we’ve been hoping will go away, hasn’t. In that moment, when the same old, wearisome thing is happening for the thousandth time, it’s natural to give in to the frustration and hurt and say, “I can’t do this anymore.”

But as a believer in Christ, is that a true statement? Yes, and no.

On the one hand, it is true. You are not God, which means you have limits to your capacity for pain and your ability to endure hardship. You have emotional limits, places where you simply can’t endure another hurtful word or neglectful act. You get to the end of your rope because you are human.

So it’s true, there are times in life when you can truthfully say, “I can’t do this anymore.”

I can't do this anymore - abide in the vineScripture even bears it out. John 15:5 says,

“I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.”

Think about the picture Jesus is painting. He is like a vine; rooted, strong, supplying all the nutrients and water that the rest of the plant needs. We are the branches, entirely dependent on what He provides. Apart from Him (the vine), we cannot produce fruit or even survive. That’s the place where we can’t endure the hard things of life.

It’s when we are operating in our own limited strength and according to our own limited resources. The hardships and pain become too much and we scream the words, “I can’t do this anymore!”

But there’s another side to to what Jesus said, isn’t there?

It’s the side that makes our cry of frustration untrue.

Jesus’ main point is that even though your situation is hard and even though your resources are limited, you don’t have to give up. You can not only endure, but you can produce good godly fruit in that difficult situation. You do it by abiding in Christ.

But that’s a church-word, what does it really mean?

My understanding is that abiding in Christ means that you stay close to Him relationally. You get to know Him on a personal level. You learn to relate to Him on a deeply spiritual level, where His Holy Spirit becomes your strength and guide. Naturally, that’s going to require dedicated time in the scriptures. It’s going to take a commitment to prayer. It’s going to demand that you get into relationships with people who can and will help you develop a deeper interaction with Jesus.

All that to say, when prolonged difficulties tempt you to abandon your resolve and give up hope in the situation, you have the ability, through Jesus, to not only endure, but to thrive. But you have to believe that deep down because God says it is true. HE is the one who says that if you rely on His strength, He will accomplish much more in and through you than you ever thought possible.

Stop_sign - I can't do this anymorePractically, that means that if you feel the situation is too much to bear and that you should get out, you need to stop and check in with the LORD. What is HE telling you? What would HE have you do?

Looking at biblical examples of those who we call “heroes of the faith” I find many of them who God kept right in the middle of their difficult circumstances, and brought about amazing things as a result. The example that sticks in my mind the most is Joseph. The majority of his story is one of suffering and mistreatment. He was betrayed by his own brothers and sold into slavery. He was wrongly accused by his slave master’s wife and thrown in prison. He stayed in that prison for over 2 years. Yet in every stage of those injustices, God turned the difficulty into a path of blessing, for Joseph and for others.

Folks, we are FAR too short-sighted to know what is going to come of the hardship or pain we are enduring at any given moment…

and we surely don’t know what the LORD is doing through it. In times like that, when the pain is the most intense we have got to take our focus off the situation and onto the LORD. We’ve got to look beyond the discomfort of the moment so that we can submit ourselves to the will of God in the situation.

So, if you are in a difficult marriage, or if you are enduring hardship with your children right now, or you’re carrying a long-standing burden of another kind, you need to take your eyes off the issues you’re experiencing and put your focus on the LORD’s will for you. Don’t let the pain cause you to convince yourself that God’s will is to “get out.”

Hebrews 10:36 tells us that we have need of endurance, so that when we have done the will of God we may receive what is promised. There is more at stake in this than your present comfort. God has bigger things in mind… for you, and for your family.

RADICAL FAITH FOR GENERATIONS IS WHAT CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY IS AIMING AT. I’D LOVE TO HELP YOU HEAD TOWARD THAT GOAL FOR YOUR FAMILY. PLEASE CONTACT ME AT CHRISTIANHOMEANDFAMILY.COM/CONTACT

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consideration1

Monday mindset: Consideration

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, August 18th, 2014 

A Consideration assignment for your family

If you’ve been following along with these Monday Mindsets each week, you probably realize by now that the assignments center around two things:

  1. A clear belief that anything and everything you attempt in terms of spiritual or family growth, must be empowered by the Holy Spirit. So start there. Before you begin the first conversation, begin with a prayer of dependence that the Holy Spirit will empower and enable every idea you have and effort you make.
  2. The power of significant conversations within your family. Talking about truth together is powerful, for understanding, life change, and healthy relationships. Joining together in discussion of the truth of God is one of the greatest ways to build unity and common understanding in your family.

This week’s discussion questions:

  • What does the word “consideration” mean? Can you give me an example of consideration?
  • In the fruit of the Spirit list (Galatians 5:22-23), where do you see consideration?
  • Even though the actual word isn’t there, do you see the idea?
  • What are some reasons that consideration is important in a family?
  • How is consideration a reflection of Jesus’ presence in our lives? (see Philippians 2:3-5)
  • Pray together that Jesus will express HIS consideration through each of you, to each of you.

I’d love to hear your ideas about how consideration in the family can be fostered with the Spirit’s help.

Go to top

Below is a fantastic little video I found that doesn’t really use the word “consideration” but does strike right at the heart of where consideration comes from. Use it with your family to discuss the way that consideration/love could benefit your family life if you were to practice it more in the power of the Spirit.

 

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power and purpose of consideration

The power and purpose of consideration in the family

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, August 15th, 2014 

Consideration is not a spontaneous attitude of the human heart.

You can’t manufacture it, or fake it, or require it. You can’t grit your teeth and make it happen.

Consideration is shaped and produced by the Spirit of God who lives in you.

In Galatians 5:22-23 Paul gives us a list of “fruit” that the Spirit produces when He has his way in the human heart. Look at the list carefully…

  • love
  • joy
  • peace
  • patience
  • kindness
  • goodness
  • gentleness
  • faithfulness
  • self control

Consideration is the Spirit’s combining of those qualities into an attitude of the heart that says “others first.” It guides our speech (Ephesians 4:29), the use of any gifts the Spirit gives us (1 Corinthians 14:12), and moves us to think deeply about how we can contribute to the good and growth of others (Hebrews 10:24).

It’s an attitude that is more like Jesus than any I know. 

Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus… – Philippians 2:3-5

The power of consideration in the family

It’s in the family that we are often at our worst. Irritable. Impatient. Demanding. Selfish.

The people we should be closest to and most careful with are the ones who bear the brunt of our sinful ways.

And we know it shouldn’t be that way. That’s why hurts received within the family are the longest lasting and most debilitating.

So… stop for a moment to imagine a different outcome… what would it be like if your family could break that mould? What if bickering was replaced with blessing? What if jealousy and strife were replaced with affirmation and unity? What if, when others thought of your family, your peaceful, gracious, loving attitudes toward one another came immediately to mind?

It humbles me to say it, but that’s exactly what the LORD has done in my family. I don’t say it to brag or lift us up… just to give you some hope that it’s possible for the LORD to do some amazing things when we submit ourselves to His work. The mindset of consideration, based on love for each other, is a significant part of what has enabled my wife and I to grow in marriage intimacy, our  kids to treat each other with respect and love and honor us as their parents, and make our home a place of peace instead of conflict.

Consideration causes…

  • love to be expressed.
  • needs to be noticed & met.
  • selfishness to diminish.
  • pride to die.
  • conflicts to cease.
  • the peace of Christ to reign.

Consideration happens through humble dependence on the Spirit

It’s always difficult to explain the “how” of something like this, because the way of the LORD doesn’t allow for a formulaic approach. I can’t give you a 1-2-3 process to follow that will enable the members of your family to have consideration toward each other.

Don’t misunderstand, we have a part to play, but it’s the Spirit of God who equips and empowers us to understand and implement our part.

But…

 

consideration-starts-here

 

Here’s how I see it…

  • the Spirit of God/Christ comes to live in you when you are born again (Romans 10:9)

Resist the tendency to think that the Spirit’s presence in your life is is an ethereal, unreal thing, or that the idea is only figurative. I assure you, the Person of the Holy Spirit is as real as the air you breathe… and much more significant. The scripture clearly tells us that if you have placed your faith in Jesus Christ, He has given you His Spirit, both as a guarantee of your salvation (Ephesians 1:14) and as your source of guidance and power for daily living (Galatians 5:16).

Do whatever you need to do to help you truly believe this. You will never experience the reality of the Spirit of God in your life if you don’t believe He’s  truly in you.

  • His presence in your life becomes your only resource for living (2 Timothy 1:7)

You and I are very used to living in our own strength. We have developed all kinds of strategies, emotional responses, and ways of thinking to enable us to handle the difficulties and challenges of life. Call them bad habits, call them flesh patterns, call then sinful tendencies. Whatever you call them they mean that the way you handle life is not the Spirit’s way, it’s your way. It’s independence instead of dependence.

Learning to depend on the Spirit for guidance and power for every situation is a real challenge, because everything you’ve done to make it in the world is designed to enable you to handle things on your own. Dependence on Him is exactly what you need, and the hardest thing to have. Ask Him to help you give up your own ways in deference to His.

  • Rather than seeking “steps” to implement on our own, we need to be seeking a relationship with the Spirit (John 16:13 / John 14:17)

Relationship is key, here. You don’t need strategies or principles. You need to live your life under the power and leading of the Holy Spirit. You need to learn to “hear” His still, small voice in your daily life. One caution here… the devil will try to take advantage of your openness. He’ll try to insert thoughts and feelings of his making and convince you that it’s the Spirit talking to you. How do you know the difference?

You take everything that comes to you to the word of God (the Bible). If anything in the scriptures is contrary to what you thought the Spirit was telling you, then it’s not the Spirit. Stick to the word of God. Always. As you do that, pursue deep relationship with Jesus through the Spirit.

  • It is this relationship that produces the fruit in our lives that combines to become consideration (Galatians 5:22-23)

The temptation is to use the “fruit of the spirit” as a checklist of things we need to be working on. While I appreciate the intentionality of that approach, it’s a bit off. Paul’s point in giving us the list is not to give us a series of checkboxes we are to make sure we’re doing. He’s describing what it looks like when the Spirit of God, who lives inside us, is doing His work in and through us. It’s a list of the kinds of things we will see naturally coming out of us (or should I say, “supernaturally”) when we are submitted fully to the work of the Spirit of God within us.

Look at the entire chapter of Galatians 5 again. Let the Spirit show you that it is HIS work through you that matters.

From there, you have GOT to be talking about these things  with your family… from day one.

The Christian life is one of expressing the life of Christ. Jesus in us, living through us… that’s the point. If we as Christian parents are not aiming for that goal in ourselves and in our kids, we might as well hang it up now.

But as I said at the beginning of this post, consideration doesn’t come naturally. It’s like exercise, or healthy eating. It takes conviction and hard work. Every person in your family has to become convinced of the value and necessity of it… and that happens through conversation about the real situations of life.

But before you go there, you have to have some scriptural foundation. Passages that focus on love for one another, our obligation to be kind and compassionate — those are topics your family has to be intimately familiar with because you talk about them so much. You have to be continually holding it out as a vision for your family. Then you can address the real-life contexts where consideration is needed:

  • conflicts over possessions
  • disagreements about curfew or household chores
  • disciplinary times
  • doing “extra” work for the sake of others
  • not leaving clothes or other items strewn all over the house

These and thousands more are opportunities to talk about the ongoing need to love through consideration. They are “rubber meets the road” situations where Jesus can come on-line to empower even the youngest member of the family to do His work in the present moment.

Where to go from here: Questions to ask yourself

  • What kind of example of consideration am I being in the primary relationships I have (marriage, with kids, etc.)?
  • Am I willing to submit this area to the leadership of the Spirit? What will it take for me to do that?
  • How committed am I to developing an atmosphere of consideration in my family?
  • Am I willing to have ongoing conversations about the subject, even when it seems monotonous or wearisome?

You can do this… because the Spirit of God lives in you.

He wants to lead you to lead your family into His joy as you learn to make consideration a powerful part of your home. Take some time to work through the questions above in your own soul. Ask the Spirit to guide you to the place of knowing how to make change in your life and family.

The video below bemoans the world we live in on one hand, but gives us hope that WE can make a difference in it through the way we live toward others on the other hand. The chorus says,

“Is this the world you want? Is this the world you want? You’re making it every day you’re alive. You change the world everyday you’re alive. You start to look like you believe…”

It’s my challenge to you to take your life more seriously. Take your responsibility for your family more seriously. Begin to believe that radical faith for generations is what God wants for you and your family. Begin to believe that He just might do what He says He will.

If YOU can’t change the path and attitude of your family in the power of the Spirit, who can?

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flexibility_in_family_life

Podcast 85 – Flexibility in family life

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, August 13th, 2014 

Flexibility in Family Life

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

Life gets crazy. Work demands, soccer games, home repairs, shopping trips, relationships to maintain, and important, ongoing conversations to have. It’s enough to make you the most inflexible person alive!
On top of all that is the heart-cry we all have to discover and do what God is calling us to. I don’t know about you, but I’m in THAT place almost all the time… wondering what the LORD wants me to do when I grow up.
My family is in that place right now, prayerfully trying to determine what the LORD is leading us to and how we are to get there. It’s a confusing, unclear time… but one where we’re learning some very valuable lessons.
Most of all, we’re learning the family life requires a great deal of flexibility, because we are not God. We get our plans in place, work toward them, but many times find that our plans were not God’s plans. Sound familiar to anyone?
This episode covers a very helpful truth I’ve discovered that’s helping to take the pressure off by increasing my faith. Family life has never been so good when I’m able to keep the truth in mind!
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Monday_mindset_purity

Monday mindset: Purity

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, August 11th, 2014 

Purity. The only time we hear that word nowadays is in reference to water…

and that’s a great illustration of how you need to think of purity in regards to your family, and this week’s Monday mindset.

By definition, purity is an extreme word. It communicates an extreme level of quality. Water is either pure or it’s not. Even the smallest impurity makes the water… well, impure.

You could say that “purity” is a radical word… and that’s exactly how I want it to sound to you, because radical is what I’m aiming at.

  • Every blog post I write…
  • Every podcast I record…
  • Every resource I create (most are free, by the way)…

Is aimed at helping you develop radical faith for generations… the kind of faith that will endure throughout the lives of your children, and their children, and their children.

So when I bring up a radical word like purity, don’t let yourself water it down (no pun intended). If you’re going to see radical faith for generations begin in your family, you need to realize that you’re considering an extreme thing.

Jesus wants the fruit of His Spirit to be evident in you and your family, and He provide you everything you need in order to see it happen. That is one of the most amazing realities of the Christian life.

purity_in_your_family_through_the_Holy_Spirit

This week’s assignments: Purity in the family

As you begin the week, think about opportunities where you can talk with your family about the issue of purity. Here are some questions and bible passages to help you lead your family in discussions about purity:

What is “purity?”

How can we demonstrate purity in the way we live?

1 John 1:5

  • What do you think it means that there is no darkness at all in God?
  • What difference does that fact make to the way we are to live as His children?

Psalm 24:3-4

  • According to this passage, why does purity matter so much?
  • What are the benefits we gain from being pure?

Matthew 5:8

  • What did Jesus say is the benefit of having a pure heart?
  • Do you think that means now or in the future?
  • Could it mean both?

Are there any ways you can think of that our family needs to practice purity more?

Are there any things we do that you think are not pure?

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These could be some very enlightening conversations. They could also be very difficult if you are led to purge some impure things from your lives.

But in every bit of it you need to lean on the Spirit of God to guide you into a greater place of purity.

It’s part of building radical faith for generations.

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The video below expresses the reality of a radical faith, the heart-cry of one who is captivated by the glory of the eternal God. It’s that kind of heart, that kind of obsession with the purity of God Himself that leads us into a pure life of our own, empowered by the Spirit, submitted to His ways.

I encourage you to do more than listen to this song… make it an aspiration, something you want your heart to be able to cry out. There’s nothing that compares to the greatness of knowing our God. Nothing on earth can equal the joy we will receive from walking in His purity and light.

 

I’d love to interact with you more about this issue of purity. Please leave me a comment below…
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84 - how radical faith for generations happens

Podcast 84 – How radical faith for generations happens

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, August 6th, 2014 

How radical faith for generations happens

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

OK parents, it’s time to get real.

Life is too short for us to spend it in the aimless pursuit of status, stuff, or personal satisfaction. There’s too much at stake.

God has given us one of the most wonderful AND most daunting responsibilities we could ever have and it’s one that is intended to change the course of history. We’re not just living, we’re not just raising kids, we’re building a foundation of radical Christian faith that can last for generations.You and I are responsible before almighty God for the eternal destiny, not only of ourselves and our immediate families, but also for the generations to come. Just like your grandkids and great grandkids will be able to trace their blood ancestry through you, they will be able to trace their spiritual heritage through you as well. Your children’s children, and their children, and their children, though unborn, are depending on YOU to build the spiritual foundations that will enable them to know Christ personally, to live their lives by the power of His Spirit, and to lead THEIR families into an authentic, radical faith that endures.Imagine generation after generation of your family, knowing, living, and passing on the powerful legacy of genuine Christian faith. Imagine the impact they could have on the world. Imagine the day when your life is over and you land in the presence of God. What would it be like to realize on that day, that hundreds, even thousands of years of your descendants have walked faithfully in the ways of the Savior because of your radical faith in Christ, begun years before?

That’s not an impossible dream… if you will do one thing.

Make sure that YOUR life is one of deep relationship with Jesus Christ, today.

Then do the same thing tomorrow and the day after that.

Don’t let a day pass when you are not pursuing your relationship with Jesus more than the day before. Commit yourself to knowing Jesus as deeply and powerfully as you can, so that His life becomes manifest in yours.

The results of that kind of daily faithfulness will be a ripple of radical Christian faith that transforms the generations of your family. It starts small, in the changes Christ makes in you personally. The work He begins in you will spill over into your marriage relationship, bringing about changes you never thought possible. And as your children witness the transforming power of Christ in you and in your marriage, they will be irresistably drawn to the radical faith that makes that kind of transformation possible.

As they come to faith in Christ, the ripple will continue as you teach and model what it looks like to walk with Jesus day by day, to depend on Jesus for every need, to humble yourself under His leadership, and to make every decision and take every step with the aim to bring Him glory and honor. Your kids will see His peace, and power, and blessing that are yours because of your radical faith, they’ll see it multiplied in your family, and they’ll begin to experience the fruit of it in their own lives. Until finally, they leave your home filled with the fruit of a family that experienced the reality of Christ day after day. They will be determined to see the fruit of that radical faith expressed in their own lives.

As wonderful as that dream is, it’s much too small. There are generations of children still to come, your descendants, who will be affected by the radical faith you begin nurturing now. Jesus likened it to a tiny seed that grows until it becomes a mighty tree, and I’m telling you that what may seem to you to be a tiny seed of faith in your heart right now, can grow in the power of God’s Spirit into a mighty family tree that demonstrates God’s transforming power.

All that begins with you parents, today, right now. It begins with your commitment to pursue Jesus with all that you are. You have to be the authentic, growing, humble CHRISTIAN example your children need to see before they will believe that Jesus is real and the He is able to transform and use even the weakest and most humble person.

So where do you start?

1) On your knees.

Stop everything and turn to Jesus in utter dependence. Rid yourself of every attempt to be strong in yourself and ask Him to fill you with His desires for you and your family. Affirm your desire to pursue Him in everything. Ask Him to help you, to transform you, to give you the strength you need to chase after Him for the rest of your life.

2) Talk with your family about what’s happened in your heart.

Begin to paint the vision of what Jesus can do in the generations of your family. Tell them that you are going first, you’re taking the lead to let Jesus make YOU into all you need to be to lead the family into that place of greatest blessing. Ask them to pray for you, to encourage you, to hold you accountable.

3) Connect with others who are committed to the same glorious goal.

Ideally that would be in your local church, but if you can’t find people there, look further. I’ve created an on-line community for that purpose, if you’d like to find out more, click the link shown in the video or go to www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/community to find out more.

4) Establish daily habits to fuel the fire.

You need daily time with Jesus. He is your life (Galatians 2:20) To help you get started, I’ve created many resources to help you grow in your relationship with Jesus. Everything one of them has a free version so that nothing stands in the way of you getting started right away. You can find those resources by clicking the link in the video or by going to www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/store

Parents, it’s time to get real. There’s too much at stake for you and I to waste another precious minute of life. The generational faithfulness of your family depends on the work God does in YOUR life, starting today. What are you going to do ? It’s my prayer that you will take your responsibility seriously and begin nurturing a radical Christian faith of your own… for the sake of seeing radical faith for generations in YOUR family.

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Contentment

Monday Mindset: Contentment

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, August 4th, 2014 

Contentment is a very hard thing, especially in a wealthy culture.

You don’t think you’re wealthy? Plug your income into this quick calculator and you’ll see just how rich you are compared to the rest of the world.

My income, which seems meager to me, turned out to be among the top one half of one percent in the entire world. That’s sobering… especially given the fact that I often don’t feel satisfied with what I have.

We all know the feeling on some level.

  • The newest model smart-phone.
  • A new set of wheels.
  • An upgraded laptop (or better yet, switch to a Mac).
  • The flat screen TV you’ve always wanted.
  • That new gadget that will make your hobby so much more fun.

You know the drill… just a little more and we’ll be content.

John D. Rockefeller, one of the most successful and wealthy American businessmen ever was once asked, “How much money is enough?”

His answer? “Just a little bit more.”

As followers of Jesus living in a wealthy society, how do we guide our families down the road of contentment rather than allow the culture to suck them into materialism and the discontent that comes with it?

There are two passages of scripture which I’ve found to be particularly helpful, for me and for my family. In the two of them we find 3 things that will lead us into discontent.

Hebrews 13:5-6

Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

 

1 Misplaced love

If we love money we’ll become just like John D. Rockefeller… we’ll never have enough. We have to guard our hearts and examine our motives constantly to ensure that our only true love is Jesus Himself.

  • Share your love for Jesus with your spouse and children. Tell them how much you love Him and why. Nothing is more appealing than the zeal of one who is truly in love.
  • Make a list together of all the reasons Jesus is worthy of your highest love. (Examples: His love for us – 1 John 4:19, the changes He’s made in your life, the blessings He’s provided, etc.)
  • Discuss the things that compete for His place as your most beloved. Bring it down to the level of every member of your family so they can see the issue clearly.
2 Fear

Notice the reason for being content with what we have: Jesus will never leave us and is on our side.

We don’t need more stuff or power or position in order to be secure. Jesus is our security and He’s promised that He always will be.

  • Discuss the things that frighten you. Parents, lead the way by being honest with your kids.
  • Compare those things to the care, power, and might of Jesus. Talk about which is greater.
  • Read the last phrase of the verse together, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear.” Talk about the choice not to fear because of the security Jesus gives.

Here’s the other passage, Philippians 4:10-13

I rejoiced in the Lord greatly that now at length you have revived your concern for me. You were indeed concerned for me, but you had no opportunity. Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.
3 Forgetting that Jesus is your strength

Paul knew what he was talking about. The man had experienced things we only read about.

Hunger. Beatings. Stonings. Shipwreck. Imprisonment.

He was chosen by God to suffer for the sake of Jesus’ name, and suffer he did (Acts 9:15-16, 2 Corinthians 11:24-28).

true contentment

  • Talk with your family about the reality of Jesus. He’s really alive. He’s truly living inside them if they’ve placed their faith in Him.
  • Brainstorm all the differences those truths make in your lives. Be sure to apply it to every person’s age and place in life.
  • Describe together what a typical day would look like if you truly counted on Christ being your strength in every situation.

Pray as a family for contentment

Jesus desires for your family to find their contentment in Him even more than you want it. Ask Him to partner with you, to help you guide your family into that place of true peace. He’ll be faithful to do it.

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One of my favorite bands is Switchfoot. If you’re around our house for any length of time, you’ll probably hear one of their tunes blasting. Everyone in the house loves their music because they continually produce songs that are artistically excellent and have meaningful, deep, challenging lyrics.

The video below is one of their lesser-known songs, but in my opinion, one of the more powerful.

It’s a prayer to the Holy Spirit, asking Him to come into the singer’s life to “be my song, fill my lungs. I won’t need anything but You. I found all that I want, all that I long for in You.”

Will you dare to make that your prayer?

For yourself? For your family?

hat is one prayer Jesus will never leave unanswered.

 

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frustrator

God is the great frustrator

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, August 1st, 2014 

Frustration is a very, well, frustrating emotion!

It stems from our desire to have things go as we’d like them to go. After all, we make our plans, take our action steps and expect certain results.

But I’m coming to see that in many situations, the very frustration I’m trying to avoid or overcome has been placed there by God Himself.

Really, I do believe that.

Paul the Apostle has taught me that lesson…

So to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. – 2 Corinthians 12:7-10

As far as I know, God has never given me a “messenger of Satan to harass me.” But it’s very illuminating to me to know that He did give one to Paul.

It was so important to God that Paul remain humble, that He gave him a very difficult, hard, frustrating condition that he had to deal with the rest of his life.

Why wouldn’t God give me a bit of frustration now and then, too?

frustrator2

 

How can we better help our families understand God as the great frustrator?

  • Focus on His sovereignty more than we think about our “rights” or “choices.” After all, do we really have any rights in light of His great will?
  • Begin conversations about the value of humility before our Creator. If His ways are truly best, what does it say about our attitude of frustration when He brings/allows an unforeseen something to come up?
  • Encourage each other to delight in God’s plans, especially when they are not what we would have preferred. We’ll learn to value His plan above our preferences.
  • Relax. God’s not stressed about a thing. If we trust Him, we should not be either.

Take some time to discuss those and other topics with your family.

What are some ways YOU see that you could discuss this topic with YOUR family?

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using scripture in family devotions

Podcast 83 – How to use scripture in your family devotions

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, July 30th, 2014 

How to make use of scripture in your family devotions

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

USING SCRIPTURE IN FAMILY DEVOTIONS

HOW DO YOU ACTUALLY DO A FAMILY DEVOTIONAL TIME?

  • For my family it consists of three parts: Song, Scripture, Prayer
  • We covered the song part last week  – www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/82
  • This week we’ll talk about how to include scripture in your family devotional time.

Here’s an example of how I’d go about it… let’s use this passage…

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name! Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits, who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases, who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy, who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s. – Psalm 103:1-5

TAKE IT SLOW

  • Make sure words like “bless”, “soul”, “benefits”, and “iniquity” are understood… remember podcast 81?
  • Explore the meanings through discussion (you don’t have to give all the answers).
  • There’s going to be no meaning and no impact if the passage is not understood.
  • Depending on the age / spiritual maturity you may only take 1 verse at a time – that’s OK.

ASK QUESTIONS (that require more than “yes / no” answers) – here are some examples:

  • What are some reasons the LORD wants us to bless Him?
  • What do you think it means that God’s name is “holy?”
  • What is forgiveness? How has God forgiven you?
  • What impression does this passage give you of God?

TELL STORIES FROM YOUR OWN LIFE THAT ARE APPLICABLE

  • Your kids need to hear about God’s work in your life.
  • It gives them real-life examples.
  • It demonstrates a pattern of how God deals with people.
  • It shows them how sinful people can relate to God.

END WITH PERSONAL APPLICATION – here’s some examples I might ask based on this passage…

  • Let’s list all the benefits the LORD has given to our family, or to us as individuals.
  • What ideas do you have of how WE can bless the LORD for all He’s done?

Carey does speaking on this and other topics. You can find out more here.

Music used by permission of Adam Rey at www.HeyReyGuitar.com

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mondaymindsetjoy

Monday Mindset: Joy

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, July 28th, 2014 

Joy is not something we humans come by easily…

It’ sad, but very true fact.

But such a thing should NEVER be said of a believer in Jesus Christ. Not only do we have have an infinite number of reasons to be joyful, joy is a natural (supernatural) by-product of the Spirit of God who lives in us (Galatians 5:22).

For this week’s “Monday mindset” I want to ask you very simply… How can you help your children and spouse focus on the joy of the LORD this week?

Instead of my typical rambling about the topic, I’m giving you an assignment. Take some of the “discussion starters” below as fuel for your creative fire and create opportunities to interact with your family about the place of joy in the Christian life.

Here’s my list of discussion starters to help you uncover reasons for joy:

Use any or all of these questions to start a conversation surrounding the subject of joy. Feel free to come back here and share what comes of your conversation (in the comments below).

  • How great is God’s love for you? Try to describe it for me…
  • Let’s try to list every blessing God has given us…
  • What are the things God has forgiven you of for which you are most thanful?
  • What do you think would have happened to you if Jesus hadn’t saved you?
  • What are the greatest things Jesus has done in your life?
  • What things in the created world do you enjoy the most? How do you think God feels, knowing that you enjoy His creation so much?
  • What’s the greatest prayer the LORD has ever answered for you?
  • Describe the hope that Jesus gives to you.
  • How does it feel to know that God’s wrath is forever turned away from you because of Jesus?
  • How does it feel to know that you’ll one day stand in heaven, in the presence of God, totally accepted, forever?

To go on top of that, here’s a list of scriptures to read and discuss together…

Take time each morning before everyone jets out to work or school or summer activities to read and discuss one of these passages. Again, I’d love to hear about the conversations that you have (in the comments below).

  • Psalm 30:5
  • Psalm 4:7
  • James 1:2
  • Galatians 5:22
  • Romans 15:13
  • John 16:24
  • Proverbs 17:22
  • Colossians 1:11
  • Psalm 16:11

Now that you have these joy-thoughts banging around in your head, what will you do with them?

joy

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Below is a testimony from former agnostic Dr Carolyn Weber. She was a feminist and literary studies major at Oxford University when she came upon a group of Christians who she describes this way: “They were warm, and they invited me in, and it was entirely different from what I anticipated and it knocked me off balance, but also the speaker talked about joy being the Christian’s…  secret weapon.” Her eventual conversion to Christianity is detailed in the new book ‘Surprised by Oxford.’

This is just one of the many testimonies of what true Christian joy can do in the world… in the lives of real people. Enjoy! 🙂

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Include music in family devotions

Podcast 82 – Integrating music into your family devotions

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, July 23rd, 2014 

How to integrate music into your family devotions

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

USING MUSIC IN FAMILY DEVOTIONS

Including music for the sake of worship is not an easy task for most people

If you’re not musically inclined, what do you do? Before we get into the “how” part of including music in your family worship, there’s one other step we need to take first…

Talk with your family about the “WHY” behind singing…

  • Why do we sing to God in the first place?
  • It’s not only that it’s fun (though it is), it’s one way that we worship God. And remember, younger children may need an explanation of worship. See podcast 81 for details on how to go about that.
  • In singing we are speaking truths about God and to God
  • When we sing ABOUT God, it’s for our sake – to increase our faith and remind us of the truths we believe.
  • When we sing TO God, it’s in worship, for all that He is and does, to show our love and appreciation.
  • Come, let us sing for joy to the LORD; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation. Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song. (Ps. 95:1-2)

 The easiest way I’ve found to use music is to make use of “sing along songs”

  • These are songs that you may have on a CD, mp3, or other source that is professionally produced… and your family just sings along!
  • You have a professional leading you, so the pressure’s off. You don’t have to be musical at all.
  • No instruments are needed, though you could include them if you like.
  • Everyone will be able to follow along
  • Most of the time, kids love it.
  • Find this kind of music on YouTube, internet apps like Spotify or your own collection.

A method that’s a bit harder is to use a Hymnal or song book

  • You have to know the songs well in order to do this one, and someone needs to be able to sing moderately well to start the tunes.
  • You can sing a cappella (no instruments) if you know the songs well.
  • Another option is to use songs the kids know from Sunday school (Jesus loves me, This little light of mine, etc.)

What if they won’t sing?

  • When a person won’t sing, it’s usually a heart issue, not a singing issue.
  • Find out what’s going on.
  • Is there some embarrassment? Bitterness? Something painful that needs to be explored?
  • Your job is not to get them sing, but to find out why they won’t.
  • Patient, loving inquiries will get you there in time.

Next week – Using scripture in Family devotions Carey does speaking on this and other topics. You can find out more here. Music used by permission of Adam Rey at www.HeyReyGuitar.com

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Monday Mindset Thankfulness

Monday Mindset: Thankfulness

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, July 21st, 2014 

Jesus expects His followers to be thankful people.

The scriptures are very, VERY clear. There are no exceptions. There are no qualifiers. Take this passage for instance…

…giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ… – Ephesians 5:20

Take a minute to notice the extremities of this passage. We Christ-followers are to be thankful…

  • ALWAYS.

Really? Doesn’t the LORD understand the kind of life we live down here? Isn’t there some kind of loophole that makes room for grumbling or complaining or “venting” when things aren’t going well? Nope. You can’t find it in scripture. Christians are to give thanks ALWAYS.

  • FOR EVERYTHING.

Now wait a minute! There are some horrendous things that happen to us on this planet. Death. Job loss. Diseases. Abuses. Injustice. Are we really expected to be thankful in the midst of those kinds of circumstances? Yep. Every one of them.

Sound impossible? It is.

Thankfulness in all things

Did you get that? Without Him we can do nothing (John 15:5).

When the LORD gives commands that are impossible for us to fulfill, He doesn’t expect us to grit our teeth and try anyway. He expects us to humbly admit our inability. He wants us to fulfill every one of His impossible commands by relying on the strength His Holy Spirit provides. John 15:5 comes right in the middle of an illustration where Jesus is comparing our relationship to Him to a branches relationship to its vine. The nutrients, strength, and life all come from the vine, not the branches. The branches get everything they need from the vine. Jesus is the vine. We are the branches. That truth holds the key to how we can be thankful in ALL CIRCUMSTANCES and at ALL TIMES.

The first step toward living out thankfulness

zapSo how does the Jesus do it? How does He give us that “vine-life” that enables us to be thankful for everything all the time? Does He zap us with superpowers that spring to life when needed? No… what He does is to cause us to understand and embrace what He says is true. That’s called belief…

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him… – Colossians 2:6

We received Christ Jesus as Lord, how? By faith. We are to “walk” or live in Him the same way… by faith. That means that we are to live this life by trusting that what He says is true, no matter how we feel about it, no matter what we think about it from a human perspective. So the first step toward living out thankfulness in all things and at all times is to believe that if Jesus says we should do it, then He will provide the means for us to do it.

The second step toward living out thankfulness

Once we’ve committed to live out what Jesus says, we can move on to apply what He says, to the practical circumstances of life. That’s where the truth of Jesus and thankfulness intersect. Here’s how…

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good for those who are called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28

As a committed follower of Christ, one who loves Him and takes Him at his word, we have to avoid the temptation to read this passage and say, “Yes, but…” There is no “but.” This verse contains the word of our trustworthy Savior. It’s His promise to us. He’s put it in black and white to assure us that in every situation He is not only present, He’s active in it for good. That means that in…

  • Unemployment
  • Sickness
  • Financial difficulty
  • Death
  • Abuse & mistreatment
…and thousands more situations, Jesus is actively using what is happening for His glory and your good. Because of that amazing fact, we can be thankful… in all things, at all times.

It’s essential that our families know this truth, because the world says the exact opposite.

HARD WORK Everything about being thankful in the midst of terrible circumstances is contrary to the modern way of thinking. For that reason, we’ve got to… 1) Teach our families the truth of Jesus’ good work in terrible circumstances, and… 2) Prepare them to withstand the worldly resistance they’ll be sure to face. Here’s some conversation starters you can use this week to get your family started on that journey…

Questions for family discussion:

  • What are the hardest things you face in life?
  • Do you find it easy or hard to be thankful in those times?
  • READ ROMANS 8:28 & EPHESIANS 5:20.
  • God says that He’s working in every situation for our good. Do you really believe that?
  • What comfort or assurance does it give you to know that Jesus is powerful enough to bring good out of bad situations?
  • Do you think any differently about the hard situations of life, knowing that Jesus is in them, at work for good?
  • In light of what we read in Romans 8:28, how do you think it’s possible for us to be thankful in every circumstance that happens?
  • What are some reasons you can be thankful the next time a hard situation comes?
Start there… and let the Spirit guide your conversation. He’ll be faithful to open the door to a greater understanding and application of these truths.

Review often…

Like any Sunday school lesson or sermon, the truth your family learns about this issue will slip away if you don’t serve up reminders for them. So review this idea often. Use hard times to remind yourself and your family that God is good, all the time, and He is working for good in your lives. Say prayers of thanksgiving for the hard times, together, before they come… so that all of you will be thinking about the need for thankfulness ahead of time. And when the hard times hit, remind each other of the LORD’s plan to work it out for His glory and your good. And focusing on that truth, encourage thankfulness in all things.

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TEEN IDOLS

The problem with teen idols…

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, July 18th, 2014 

When I was in high school, my girlfriend’s sister was an absolute maniac about Rick Springfield.

You remember him, don’t you? Soap opera star turned rock singer? Jessie’s girl?

ricks<<<====== This guy?

I wasn’t very nice about it back then. I told her the blunt truth.

You are NEVER going to even get a chance to meet Rick Springfield, so why don’t you just give it up!?

But despite my best efforts, the 14 year old girl continued her infatuation with good old Rick.

In my thinking, it’s a sad situation when a person is elevated so high in another’s mind.

It get’s crazy. Common sense is thrown out the window. Emotion takes over.

And I don’t think Christian parents think about the influence of teen idols enough…

It’s not that I’m advocating that you restrict your children from knowing about, seeing, hearing the music, or watching the movies of any of “those” people.

But I would say that you need to take a long, hard, thoughtful look at the issue through a biblical lens.

The problem with teen idols is that they are idols, and…

1 Idols are very, very hard to remove once they are in place.

The longer your child “idolizes” that person, the more they will be driven to idolize them. It’s like a kiddie drug addiction, only it’s about celebrity, fame, status, and “cool-ness,” none of which is eternally lasting or edifying to their soul.

2 Idols have an inordinate amount of influence on those who revere them.

It’s unavoidable that kids seek to become like those they respect. It doesn’t matter if it’s a pop diva or a sports hero. That means your kids are going to want to look like them, dress like them, act like them, talk like them. Is that what you want?

3 Idols have the power to numb the senses of their followers.

When kids have an idolatrous fixation on the latest Disney channel star, they are going to have a very hard time making the choice to abandon their devotion when that Disney princess goes off the rails. The teen idol can do no wrong in their mind, so they’ll have a hard time saying that they’ve taken a wrong turn.

4 Whether gold, silver, stone, or flesh and blood, idols take the place of the only true God.

Very simply put, God alone deserves the degree of devotion that is given to idols. He’s the only one worthy of it. To give that kind of devotion to anyone else is equal to adultery. That’s how the LORD Himself illustrates it time and again (see this post).

teen idols 1

 

OUCH

I know it hurts to hear it said that way, and I don’t say it to be mean or harsh.

I say it so bluntly because you have to see the reality of what’s happened if you have any hope of making a course correction.

Let my confrontation serve you like a map for a person who is lost. Take the time to look at the reality of where you are and to reorient yourself to God’s way of looking at this issue.

How to you help your child avoid the teen idol trap

1 Teach your children to value and adore God from a very early age. Their hearts need to be so full of Him, there’s no room for anyone else. It’s got to be true of you first, and then you’ll be ready to do the daily work required to lead your children there. Jesus has to become more than a name you tack on at the end of a prayer, He has to become the life-source and center of your home.

2 Continually talk about the godly characteristics the LORD wants to produce in people. You want your kids’ minds to be saturated with what God says is valuable so that when they are older, they are able to spot the things about a teen star or other celebrity that are not pleasing to God.

3 Keep up with what they are watching, listening to, etc., so that you can have conversations about the people involved. You want to have open communication with your kids. Ask them what they think about “So-and-So Music Star.” Guide them in the conversation to see the person the way God does.  By doing this you’ll be modeling and teaching discernment to them. Some parents fear that they’ll be teaching their kids to become little critics, but if you emphasize humility and Christ-like compassion, you can avoid that.

If your kids are already neck deep in this problem…

  • Admit your part in it.
  • Begin with a prayer of repentance.
  • Confess your neglect as a parent and turn to God who is willing and powerful to help you straighten things out.

Once you have that taken care of you an turn again to your children.

  1. Confess how you’ve failed to your kids. Let them know how sorry you are for the way you’ve let them go down the wrong path.
  2. Clarify the standards God expects of His people and implore them to join you in seeking after Him anew.
  3. Begin conversations about their heroes, music, etc. Begin dialogue with them, comparing their heroes to God’s standards. Take your time. Help them walk through the process of letting go.
  4. Expect resistance and difficulty.

But don’t give up. Our God is able to topple the teen idols.

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family devotions with smaller children

Podcast 81 – Family devotions with small kids in the mix

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, July 16th, 2014 

Family Devotions with small children in the mix

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

FAMILY DEVOTIONS WITH YOUNG KIDS IN THE MIX

Before we begin to talk about the “how to” portion of family devotions with younger kids involved, let’s remind ourselves of the purpose of family devotions…

  • PURPOSE OF FAMILY DEVOTIONS: Facilitate heart-level connection between your family members and the God of the universe.

That kind of connection IS possible in the hearts and minds of younger kids. Don’t underestimate their capacity to make very real connections with the living God.

The challenges with YOUNGER CHILDREN:

  • Attention span
  • Understanding
  • Mixture of ages (How can you engage the younger children without losing the older ones – or vice versa?)

SUGGESTIONS FOR DEVOTIONS WITH YOUNGER KIDS

1. Think like a child…

  • Don’t assume too much
  • God, Jesus, sin, cross – all of these are words they may not understand.

2. Take it slow…

  • Ask questions to gauge comprehension
  • Don’t move ahead if they don’t get it
  • Make deeper topics a project, over time

3. Keep it simple…

  • One simple point is enough.
  • No need for a 3 point sermon or loads of illustrations.
  • Once they “get it,” you’re good.

4. Apply it in a relevant way… relevant to the child, that is.

  • They know “love” in the context of family and friends, so give illustrations related to those contexts.
  • If you want to illustrate the concept of “mercy”, go back to the last time they were disciplined and talk about what it would have been like if they’d received mercy… and why they didn’t.
  • Always emphasize God’s desire to help them obey His truth. That’s called “grace” and it’s why Jesus came to die.

5. If older kids are involved too… dismiss the younger kids, give an activity while you continue the conversation Next week – Using music in family devotions Carey does speaking on this and other topics. You can find out more here. Music used by permission of Adam Rey at www.HeyReyGuitar.com

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Christian encouragement

Monday Mindset: Encouragement in Christ

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, July 14th, 2014 
New Feature: Monday Mindset
Monday mindset is a new feature of the blog aimed at helping you set your mind for the week to come. Each Monday I’ll focus in on one area that can make an eternal difference for your family. At the end of each post I’ll include “Action Steps” to help you apply the weekly concept in a practical way. I hope you enjoy this weekly mindset adjustment. And I pray that as you implement them, you’ll see the LORD do some wonderful things in your family.

Encouragement in Christ is something we all need…

because none of us is wired to go it alone. From the very beginning God has designed us to live in community, with others alongside. He did so because we need relationships (Genesis 2:18). It is not good for us to be alone. We need support. We need affirmation. We need encouragement.

In His amazing wisdom God has given us a built-in context to receive that encouragement. It’s called a family.

I know, I know, for many people the word “family” only has negative connotations. It was a place of neglect, abuse, or harsh words. It was a place of legalism, harsh demands, or unrealistic expectations.

If that’s you, please know this: What you experienced is not what God created or planned. The power of sin in the world has taken its toll on families as much as it has anything, and because the family is so vital to our health as human beings, damage that happens in a messed up family is particularly painful. The effects of those experiences linger deep in your soul, all the way into the present.

But those chains of dysfunction can be broken… if you will submit them and yourself to the Spirit of God.

Your family can become a place of encouragement. Your family can build positive, godly habits that transform the generations to come. Your family can be a place where the truth of this scripture is lived out day by day…

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. – Hebrews 3:13

I can’t overstate the power of this kind of encouragement. I can’ stress enough how vital it is to the eternal health of your family.

Notice what the passage says:

  • Encouragement needs to happen daily. It’s that important.
  • Encouragement given yesterday is not adequate for today. Every “today” needs its own dose.
  • Encouragement can prevent sin from hardening people.

That’s some powerful stuff, especially that last point.

Christian encouragement

But keep reading, or else you might make a tragic mistake!

This passage is not talking about just any kind of encouragement. It’s truly Christian encouragement that matters. Statements like the following won’t have the kind of impact you’re looking for…

  • “Your hair sure looks nice today.”
  • “I like the way you did that.”
  • “You are a very nice person.”

Those are all kind, maybe even loving things to say, but they’re not the kind of encouragement that prevents a hardened heart.

This passage is talking about Christian encouragement, encouragement in Christ.

What does encouragement in Christ look like?

The kind of encouragement your family needs is deeply rooted in the truth of scripture. It takes the form of reminders about the promises of God. It’s found in exhortations toward Spirit-empowered living. It’s a type of encouragement that raises your family’s sights far above the “normal” way of living in this world.

Here’s a few examples:

  • Today at work, don’t forget that Jesus lives in you. He is ready to empower you for that difficult meeting and to give you confidence in His work through you.
  • When you go to school today, remember to listen for the leading of the Spirit so that you can live out His best for you.
  • I’m so encouraged to see what Jesus is doing in your life. I see Him more every day through the patience and kindness you’re showing.

Do you see the difference in these two types of encouragement?

The first kind of encouragement is simply nice. It might make your family members feel good about themselves for a while, but it doesn’t have much eternal value.

The second kind of encouragement is powerful, because it points to eternal truths that feed the soul. It’s truly Christian encouragement… that your family needs.

You can find many, many more examples of this in episode number 39 of the Christian Home and Family podcast, when I had a conversation with Pastor Sam Crabtree about the power of this kind of interaction in the home. Sam has written a wonderful book teaching all about it. It’s called “Practicing Affirmation.” (affiliate link)

Why truly Christian encouragement makes such a difference…

The kind of encouragement that builds up the soul is so vital because day after day your family is assaulted by ungodly ideas and temptations. They need a fresh dose of God’s perspective every single day.

With it, they have a fighting chance. Without it, they are sure to fall prey to the hardening effect of sin.

Don’t leave that to chance… especially when you can do something about it.

action steps1Get proactive.

Get intentional.

Stick with it.

The eternal health of your family members is at stake. The generational faith of your lineage could rest on your consistency in providing encouragement in Christ to your family members.

And most of all, God will honor your obedience and faithfulness.

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Below is a video interview featuring Pastor Sam Crabtree. He does a wonderful job of explaining this concept of true Christian encouragement. Grab a cup of coffee, get your pencil and paper and take some notes. You’re about to learn some wonderful stuff that can make an eternal difference in your family!

 

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spiritual reality

Find God through the spiritual reality of basic Christianity

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, July 11th, 2014 

Many people want to find God, but they don’t want to go back to basic Christianity to do it.

There are too many other interesting options out there, a literal buffet of spiritual choices. It’s like folks are standing around the spiritual buffet table with a platter, making their choices…

I’ll take a little eastern mysticism, some new age crystal usage, a splash of Kabala, and a small dab of Jesus’ parables. There… that should do it.”

You’ve got friends, or co-workers, or neighbors, or family members who are like that, don’t you?

The problem is that spiritual reality is not that way. Spiritual reality is based on truth (there is such a thing), and truth only comes from one place: The one, true and living God, Jesus Christ (John 14:6).

Even if a person is willing to go back to basic Christianity, it can still be a confusing path.

They’ll have to…

  • Wade through all the Christianese
  • Deal with their past negative experiences with churches and church people
  • Overcome the stereotypes about what it means to be a Christian
  • and many, many more issues.

How would you counsel your friend, co-worker, neighbor, or family member about how to navigate all of that?

Can I make a suggestion?

You need to point them to resources that take into consideration where they are at and how hard the journey could be. But at the same time it’s got to be deep enough to provide the truth of spiritual reality.

Years ago, when I was Pastoring a church in Mililani, Hawaii I put together a resource specifically aimed at people entirely unfamiliar with the Christian faith. At that time, it was a series of lessons in a 3-ring binder that I gave to people who either trusted in Christ, or were interested in finding out more about Christianity. In our little community it was pretty well received. One guy even took it, made copies, and began using it as a curriculum for his “New Believers” Sunday school class.

I think it’s the kind of resource you’d need… and just last week I finally put it into book form.

It’s called “Moving Toward God: Finding God from square one – a newbie’s guide to the basics of Christianity

basic christianity - a manualIt really does start from square one, assuming no knowledge of the Bible or all things Christian. It’s broken into 19, self-paced, self-study lessons that explain the truth of the scriptures, give opportunities for reflection and application, and build on one another. Here’s the table of contents…

  1. Beginning to move toward God
  2. Beginning to hear God speak
  3. Beginning to speak to God
  4. Beginning to enjoy the family
  5. Beginning to obey God
  6. Beginning to tell others about Jesus
  7. The help of offering yourself to God
  8. The help of knowing who you are
  9. The help of God the Father
  10. The help of the Holy Spirit
  11. The help of the Church
  12. The help others need from you
  13. Dealing with sin
  14. Dealing with trials and suffering
  15. Dealing with your enemy
  16. Learning how to worship
  17. Learning how to live by grace
  18. Learning how to manage God’s blessings
  19. Learning to persevere

As you can see, it’s pretty thorough, but I don’t think it’s overwhelming. It’s illustrated, simple, and easy to understand. I think your friend would enjoy it. They’d definitely find God… through the spiritual reality of basic Christianity.

And that’s the truth.

If you’re interested in getting or gifting a copy of “Moving Toward God” – you can find ebook copies here and a paperback copy here. (Paperback is recommended since there are lots of blanks to fill in and exercises to complete).

Speaking of basic Christianity… here’s a video I’ve always enjoyed about basic beliefs.

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Getting started with family devotions

Podcast 80 – Getting started with family devotions

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, July 9th, 2014 

HOW TO START FAMILY DEVOTIONS

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

How to begin your own family devotions

UNDERSTAND YOUR PURPOSE

  • Family devotions are intended to facilitate heart-level spiritual growth. They are not just about getting more knowledge into your head (or the heads of your kids). So your goal in devotions should never be to teach your kids to be perfect little theologians, having all the answers to every questoion, or applying religious formulas for a happy day/life.
  • Family devotions are about relationship – between each member of your family and God. Your family devotionals are for the purpose of pointing every one of you, every day, toward God and His purpose for your lives.

That can be done at breakfast, before bed, after dinner – or all of the above. You pick and be consistent.

SOME FOUNDATIONAL PRINCIPLES FOR PARENTS

1. Be real

  • From your real-life experience (no fakers allowed). You need to demonstrate what an authentic relationship with God looks like, warts, mistakes, and all.
  • Be who you are. Don’t get over enthused about family devotions just because you want your kids to be excited. Be who you are and let God lead you in the enthusiasm part.

2. Use your Bible

  • When you pick up the scriptures, your demonstrating that there’s something of value between the covers of that book.
  • Makes the scriptures an authority to your kids, not just an irrelevant old book.

3. Be flexible

  • Stuff will happen. Phones will ring, burps will happen in the midst of prayers, readers will mispronounce words as they read the scriptures. Roll with it. God is sovereign over all those things and will use them
  • Relax.

4. Trust God to use every effort.

Remember that God is in control, and He wants your family close to Him, more than you want them close to Him. He’ll handle it. You need to let Him lead.

 Next podcast – Doing family devotions when small children are in the mix

Carey does speaking on this and other topics. You can find out more here.

Music used by permission of Adam Rey at www.HeyReyGuitar.com

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21st century parenthood demands more discernment than ever before

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, July 7th, 2014 

I know, every generation thinks the task of parenthood they face is more challenging than their parent’s generation faced…

But I truly believe 21st century parent face some incredibly difficult issues; issues that previous generations never imagined. Here’s just ONE example…

Gender identity issues

Keaton or Keat? Gender identity is going mainstream in very young children.

Sexual identity issues
It’s becoming more and more common for children to change their gender identity. Yes, children. Consider the cases of Coy, and Keaton/Keat, 6 and 7 year old boys whose parents say have identified with the female gender from an early age and have now been allowed to switch to a female identity instead.

They wear girl’s clothing, use girl’s bathrooms at school, and are represented to the world as a girl.

Both families say that in a few years, their child will begin to take medication to suppress their body’s natural adolescent hormones, and eventually undergo sex change surgery.

Along the same lines but with a different twist are parents who are choosing not to identify their child by any gender (even though their gender is obvious from a biological standpoint) so that their child can one day “choose” their gender identity.

To the typical Christian parent, these issues sound like something obscure that the’ll never have to deal with. But you’d be foolish to think so. It’s going to become more and more mainstream in a very short time. Legislation is already being passed in a number of States to “protect” such decisions against discrimination. You and your children will no doubt come in contact with it sooner or later.

And this is only one of many issues. Homosexuality, abortion, infidelity, cohabitation, pornography, and many others are very real present-day challenges that you have got to think about as a parent.

21st century parenthood is not an easy task.

My purpose in bringing up this issue (and the many others it represents) is not to cast stones or criticize. I want to ask you, Christian parent, how are you preparing your child for these realities?

Challenges of 21st century parenthood

 

Some principles to keep at the front of your mind (and your child’s mind):

1 God’s word has more authority than public opinion or personal feelings.

No matter how clever the arguments, the Bible is very clear about these and other issues. As believers in Christ, we must accept and encourage what He says is true and right. We can’t allow popular opinion, no matter how popular, to dictate what we believe or how we live. And be ready: holding firmly to a biblical stance will earn you and your kids all kinds of labels – “homophobe,” “bigot,” “hateful,” and many others.  It’s an emotionally difficult place to be because none of us likes to be disliked. But we’re in good company. Jesus was killed for similar reasons.

2 Most of the people involved in these issues are not the enemy. They are victims of the enemy.

For example: The parents and children involved in the gender confusion issues I mentioned are not to be hated, called names, or ostracized. They are deceived. They have been tricked into thinking that lies are actually truth. Satan has fooled them, to their peril, and possibly their destruction. Our job is not to push them away, but to draw them close in the love of Christ. We should be praying for them, meeting their needs when possible, and living out a radically real faith before their eyes. As parents, we have got to teach our children what that looks like and how to do it.

One exception bears mentioning. There are some people involved in these issue who are truly enemies. They are the ones who aggressively promote these issues, attack believers, and wage their own culture war against biblical values and the gospel of Jesus Christ. While it’s true that they too are victims of the enemy (deceived), they’ve gone a step further in becoming militant. How should we respond to those people?

We respond in much the same way:

  • We love them
  • We pray for them
  • We live out a radically real faith in front of them
  • But we also watch out for them, being wise to the fact that our enemy is using them to destroy the very things our God loves, and that we could become their targets.
3 The church community becomes more and more important to us as the culture makes these monstrous shifts

We are taught in scripture that we are to…

…consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. – Hebrews 10:24-25

Notice three clear and powerful things:

  1. We are to intentionally “stir up” love and good deeds in each other’s hearts.
  2. We are not to neglect meeting together.
  3. We are to do so even more as the day of judgment/end of the world approaches.

Why are these things so important?

  • We will forget to love and do good toward those who are “against” our beliefs, and instead become angry, hateful people who do not represent Christ… unless we receive Godly encouragement from other believers.
  • We will be swayed by our culture if we are Lone Ranger Christians. We need the support and encouragement of others to help us maintain a clear biblical perspective in a world that is shifting so radically away from Christ.
  • The harder it gets to maintain biblical viewpoints and convictions, the more we need the encouragement of fellow believers. If you think it’s crazy hard now, believe me, it’s going to get even harder. Our children are going to face it worse than we have it. We have got to serve them well by teaching them how to think (according to scripture) and how to respond (with compassion). But we’ve also got to teach them how to lean on the strength of the body of Christ… and we’ve got to do that by teaching and by example.
4 If you let your own discomfort or confusion about these issues keep you from talking with your children about them… you will lose your kids to the world.

I know that’s a very strong statement and that there could be exceptions, by the grace of God. But never forget that one of the primary means God uses to preserve the faith of your children, is you, their parent.

Your intentional, active, well-informed conversations with your children about these issues will be used of the Spirit to guide their thoughts and shape their attitudes. Please, please PLEASE do not allow your own awkwardness about these crazy issues cause you to neglect these conversations with your children. As Solomon did his own son, you need to plead with your children to hear God’s wisdom and apply it to their own lives (Proverbs 1:8-19).

These are only a few of my thoughts about the challenges of Christian parenthood in the 21st century.

There is so much I could say, but mostly I simply want to urge parents to be intentional and agressive in passing on their faith and instilling a true love for Christ in their children.

We parents have got to become proactive instead of reactive.

We’ve got to initiate these deep, issue-based conversations with our children. If we don’t our children are going to be swayed by the culture… and the hope we have of a generational legacy of faith will die on the vine.

There’s nothing more important you could do with your life… nothing.

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when your heart has grown cold - create in me a clean heart

Create in me a clean heart

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, July 4th, 2014 

As we lead our families, we need to continually strive to have a clean heart before God.

From a very young age, I’ve always been impacted by the prayer and song “Create in me a clean heart.” I think it’s because my failures and sins weigh heavily on me (most of the time), and I want to be free of it. Many times I’ve found the prayer David prayed after committing adultery with Bathsheba and murdering her husband to be of immense help (Psalm 51).

But what do you do when you’ve missed that somehow?

create in me a clean heart

This week I was encouraged and refreshed by the practical nature of John Piper’s advice on this topic, on his “Ask Pastor John” podcast. (If you don’t listen to this short, every-weekday podcast, you should).

Here’s the audio from it. Go ahead, listen to it now and then I’ll give you a couple of my observations about it.

By John Piper. ©2014 Desiring God Foundation. Website: desiringGod.org

I love how John is always able to get to the root of the issue…no matter the topic. In this case, it’s that we humans are indeed frail and failing.

That’s a fundamental truth about ourselves that we need to not only acknowledge, but to embrace. In my experience, it’s a frame of mind that enables me to remain in a constant state of dependence on God, so that I can find His grace to help me in my time of need (Hebrews 4:16). If I don’t embrace it as truth about me, then I tend to wander off on my own, doing things my way, and getting myself into contexts where my heart is prone to be hardened.

I don’t want to go there. No true Christian does. So what do you do about it?

Let’s look at the things Pastor John suggests:

1 Understand that believers can drift into calloused frames of heart. (Hebrews 3:12-12)

Sometimes we get the idea that because we are saved, everything is alright. But the reality is that sin is deceitful… it is able to fool us into a frame of mind and heart that is calloused toward God, holiness, and the right and wrong of how we should be living. We have to admit this and be on guard in light of it.

2 Get help from folks who will point you to a greater concern for holiness.

Pastor John says no work has had a greater impact on him regarding holiness and a sensitivity to sin, than the book “The Religious Affections” by Johnathan Edwards. I’ve read the book before and can vouch for its power. After hearing John talk about it, I think it’s time for me to re-read it again.

But some cautions are in order:

  • It’s a tough book to wade through. Edwards is brilliant, but also hard to understand at times. That’s not a reason to avoid reading the book, but you do need to be ready.
  • It’s well worth your time, if you will stick with it. Edwards is so insightful… you need to have exposure to a heart and mind like his. He’ll get you thinking along lines that I guarantee you have probably never considered, and your soul will be helped by the effort. You can find a FREE copy of the religious affections here.

Pastor John also recommends “Justification Reconsidered” by Steven Westerholm – in particular the chapter on the depth and seriousness of sin. I’ve not read this book, but it just went onto my “must read” list. I can always use more encouragement about my sin in light of God’s holiness. You can get a copy of the book here.

3  Meditate on the beautiful picture of what God wants for us in the way of kindness and charity in our hearts.

In particular, Pastor John recommends getting a copy of the book “Heaven is a World of Love” by Johnathan Edwards. This is another book I’ve not read but plan to read soon. Pastor John says that the description of who God is, what holiness is about, etc. “blew him away.” You can read this short work here.

4 Pray that God would deliver you from hardness and make you tender.

I find this one to be especially important and powerful in my life. There’s very little I can accomplish in my life or on a spiritual level if I don’t have the grace of God to help me. I NEED His help. I need Him to do the work in me that I’ve been unable to do for myself. I sometimes think of it as begging and pleading with the LORD to do the miraculous work of heart-change that I so desperately need.

5 Surround yourself with those who are sensitive to sin and who love holiness.

Community is helpful in fighting sin and loving holiness. John makes the observation that many of us think that we are doing outreach by hanging out with worldly people and it turns out that they are not being missional, but being malleable (easily influenced). It’s a dangerous balance we walk. We need to impact the culture for Christ without the culture impacting us… and sadly, too many of us fail at it.

Pastor John mentions the forms of entertainment we watch, the things we read, and the people we hang out with.

6 Join with others in regular heartfelt worship of God.

Focusing on the beautiful love of Jesus for us enables us to grow in our softness and sensitivity to God.

How do these points strike you?

  •  Are you doing a good job of keeping yourself in a place where you can grow in holiness?
  • Are you being wise about keeping your heart from a calloused attitude?
  • What do you need to do in order to move more toward the purity to which the LORD is calling you?

I thought I’d end with a video of the song, “Create in Me a Clean Heart.” This rendition is sung by Keith Green, who I believe is the author of the song. Keith was known for his fiery zeal for the LORD and an uncompromising desire to follow hard after Christ. He seems to have understood the need to be asking the LORD for a clean heart, day by day.

 

 

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dead and gone

When you’re dead and gone…

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, June 30th, 2014 

This past Sunday our church family celebrated a week-long Vacation Bible School program.

It included songs from the week, video presentations, and testimonies about what happened in the lives of children and volunteers during the week.  One of the group leaders named Bobbi, shared this powerful story… (my rendition of her words below)

That's the song my dad sang, before...
When VBS started, there was a little boy in my group of 6 year olds who was entirely disengaged. He was more than shy; he was withdrawn. That first day we started our worship time and everyone stood. This little boy stood also but he didn’t participate in the songs or motions at all. Toward the end of the singing, we began a rendition of “Jesus loves me.” After singing through the first verse and chorus, the little boy, who was still standing quietly beside me looked up and patted me on the leg. “That’s the song my Daddy sang to me all the time, before he died.” I discovered later, from his grandmother who had brought him to VBS, that his Dad had passed away just two months earlier.

What struck me most about Bobbi’s story was that one of the main things the little boy remembered about his Daddy was a series of repeated moments when his Dad had invested in him spiritually. Who knows if the Dad realized the significance of what he was doing, or if he was just singing a children’s song to his child because it seemed a good thing to do. But after the fact, seeing how the memory of his Daddy singing “Jesus loves me” to him jarred a little boy out of the pain of his still-grieving heart, I realized anew that every moment and every engagement we make with our children on a spiritual level, counts.

In the same worship service,

our Pastor shared an update on his wife’s cousin, who was diagnosed just 3 weeks prior with stage 3 cancer. She had passed away within the last week and from all accounts had left a great legacy of her own. She was 39 years old and left a husband and three children behind.

 

when you're dead and gone

 

I don’t want to forget the importance of building a legacy of faith in my children because there’s much more than the lives of my immediate family at stake. Their children and their children, for generations will be impacted by my faithfulness (or lack of faithfulness) now. I don’t want to stand before the LORD ashamed because my lack of diligence and caring concern for the spiritual well being of my family caused generations of my descendants to be strangers to the grace of God.

What about you?

What needs to change in your life today to enable you to make a lasting spiritual impact on your family?

  • Do you need to find a new job that allows you the time to be present and invest in your family?
  • Do you need to jettison some hobbies or fun that has been taking up way too much time?
  • Do you need to set a better example by getting your own spiritual life on track?
  • Do you need to better demonstrate that what you preach is what you practice, so that your children are drawn to a genuine faith that fuels your life?

Or it might be something else. But the fact is that every person reading this can and should be making a lasting spiritual impact on their family, and as we do, the generations to come will be effected.

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Below is one of my favorite songs on this issue…

I want you to hear it because life is short and it HAS to count. I appreciate Nicole’s perspective that “In the end I’d like to hang my hat on more besides the temporary trappings of this world. I want to leave a legacy.”

 

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Your family needs to know what a failure you are

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, June 27th, 2014 

Our gut-level human instinct tells us not to admit our failures, especially to our spouse or kids.

For some stupid reason we feel that we have to be able to have it all together in front of those we’re setting the rules for, in front of those we’re leading. Maybe we think we’ll be seen as hypocrites if we fail in front of them, or that they’ll lose respect for us. I guess that could be true on some levels, but I’ve actually discovered an amazing thing…

My wife and kids respect me more when I admit my failures.

Really, it’s true. And I don’t think my family is a group of weirdos who get a kick out of watching me crash and burn.

what a failure you are

There are some HUGE benefits to that kind of transparency, for me and for them:

1 I grow in humility.

It’s not possible to overstate how important humility is in the Christian life. I recently read a book on the subject that has changed my life.** I don’t think I’ve ever said that about a book other than the Bible before. Because of a new understanding the LORD is giving me about who I am in light of who He is, I’m seeing day after day how proud I am and how much I need humility. I’m seeing that the more humble I am, the more like Jesus I become. I’m seeing that as a creature before my Creator, I can be nothing but humble. Admitting my failures is an exercise in humility, a setting where I am forced to be honest about who I am before God and in the eyes of my family. I’m beginning to see the opportunity to confess my failures as a wonderful thing, because it grows me in humility and makes me more like my Savior.

2 My wife’s trust in me grows.

When I can be humble enough to admit my mistakes, failures, and sins (and there are many), my wife begins to see me the change that’s happening in me. She starts to see a man who is willing to take a long, hard look at himself, warts and all. She sees a husband who can be trusted with knowing her deepest hurts, fears, and needs. She begins to believe that I’ll care for her more than I care about myself (Ephesians 5:25). That matters to me immensely because it’s something I want to be true of me one day – that I love my wife like Christ loves His church. She needs that kind of husband and I want to be that for her.

3 My children see a real Christian life modeled.

The Christian life is not about becoming more and more perfect, it’s about becoming more and more dependent on our God, Who is perfect. Our walk as Christians is a never-ending exercise of taking our neediness to our LORD’s sufficiency and finding ourselves satisfied in it alone. As we learn to admit our failures – again and again – we find ourselves able to run to the Savior, Who waits with open arms. That is where we find strength, grace, and help in our time of need (Isaiah 40:31 , Hebrews 4:16), and oh, how we need it. When my kids are watching that kind of humble, failure-admitting living take place day after day, they are seeing the Christian life at its most basic level.

  • They see a Dad who’s honest with himself about himself.
  • They see a Dad who’s honest about himself before the LORD.
  • They see a Dad who is able to admit his need and turn to the LORD and others for help.
  • They see a Dad who is able to ask for forgiveness when he hurts them, which is an incredible relational balm, by the way.
  • They see a Dad who is NOT in fact a hypocrite, but a real person they can relate to, because they are failures too, remember?.
That is the kind of man my wife and kids need leading our home. A failure who knows he’s a failure, and knows what to do about it.
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Here’s a song about being a failure, a loser, a no-account in human terms, but something much more in God’s sight.

When we can take on the attitude that is prescribed for us in scripture, one that takes pleasure and glory in our own weaknesses, that’s when we will “win.” That’s when God’s power will be able to work to its fullest in our times of weakness.

 

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CHRISTIANESE IS POISON

Christianese will poison your kids, unless…

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, June 23rd, 2014 

Christianese is:

the terms and jargon used within Christian circles. It is characterized by the use of certain catchphrases in ways that may only be understood within Christian circles.

Growing up in church, and pastoring churches for over 20 years, it’s become easy for me to speak Christianese without a second thought. But I can also spot it a mile away. That’s because Christianese is valuable in communicating between believers, but can also be a very dangerous thing – especially for children.

In fact, I’ve found that if I’m not diligent as a parent, Christianese can easily poison my kids.

What I mean is this: it’s easy to learn how to speak the verbiage, and therefore feel a “part of the club,” without it making any difference in your life. 

 

christianese can poison your kids

 

So, if your kids are going to avoid being poisoned by Christianese, it’s going to take YOU, a diligent parent, helping them know the reality underneath the words…

So, for this post I want to list some Christianese words and phrases that your kids need to UNDERSTAND, not just know how to speak.

Christian
We might as well start with the most common, but possibly the most misunderstood. Do you kids truly KNOW what it means to be a Christian? It’s not about going to church, being born in America, or doing good stuff. It’s about being called by God’s grace into the family of God. If you need some clarity on that, don’t read any further before you check out this presentation.
Believer
This one’s closely related to the first one, but clarity is a good thing, right? Do your kids know what a person must believe in order to be a “believer?”
Grace
Do your kids know what grace truly is? Commonly confused with “mercy,” grace is anything God does to help you as a sinful human being. It runs the spectrum from the grace you receive that leads you to faith in Christ, to the grace you receive to take your next breath or enjoy your next heartbeat. So, there are literally TONS of conversations you can have with your children about the meaning and bounty of God’s grace in their lives.
Mercy
I’m sure you saw this one coming… Do your children understand what “mercy” is? Mercy is when you truly deserve God’s punishment (always), but He chooses not to punish you or punishes someone else in your place (like Jesus). Another way to say it is, “not getting what you deserve.” Can you think of a good conversation you could have with your family over the breakfast table about a time when you received God’s mercy?
Faith
What is faith, really? Do your children know? Faith is not just hoping that things turn out O.K. It’s not wishful thinking. Faith always, Always, ALWAYS has an object (something or someone you are having faith IN). To “have faith” in a Christian sense means you are trusting in God for your eternal well being. It means that you have placed your entire life and eternal destiny into His hands. How can you better explain that specific meaning of “faith” to your children?
Salvation or Saved
Do your children know what it means, personally, to “be saved” or to “receive salvation?” It’s not something that happens only by walking down an aisle or raising your hand at the end of a church service. Being saved means you have accepted the fact that Jesus took the penalty and punishment that you deserve as a sinner when He died on the cross. By trusting in Him alone, you are “saved” from the eternal wrath of God the Father because of your sin. That’s some heavy stuff. Do your kids get it? How can you begin discussing the fact that they are sinners and need Jesus to save them from the righteous wrath of God? Maybe start by telling them your story.

Spirit-led
Do your kids know what it means to truly be led by the Spirit of God? There’s surely some controversy surrounding this one, but passages like Galatians 5:16 make it pretty clear, we are to live our lives under the leadership and in the power of the Holy Spirit. None of us can live the Christian life. It takes the Christ, through the Person of the Holy Spirit, expressing Himself through us. That is how the Christian life is to be lived. So, how about if you read Galatians 5:16 to your kids over dinner, and begin discussion what that kind of a life might look like?

Christianese is a double-edged sword.

It’s great to have some common language that we can all use to express the important aspects of our faith and the life of faith we live together. But it can also lull us into thinking we are more mature than we are. Very few of us live up to what we know… and James says that’s not a good place to be (James 1:22). So, work on it… for yourself and with your kids alongside. Don’t let Christianese poison your kids.

I can tell I’m going to have to do a follow up post (or two or three) to this one… there’s so many words we need to make sure our kids are getting right.

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Here’s a hilarious video about Christianese, a good natured mocking of some of the things we say as believers in Christ. I hope it gives you a chuckle and that you can have the humility to laugh at yourself in it.

 

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when will you stop following jesus

When will you stop following Jesus?

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, June 20th, 2014 

I’m asking the question seriously. When will you stop following Jesus?

You are probably shocked that I’d even ask. Or you might be wondering what sort of trick I’m trying to play on you.

No tricks. No gimmicks. I’m asking seriously.

Is there anything that could happen that would cause you to quit following Jesus Christ?

Don’t be so quick to say, “Of course not!” I’d like to ask you to take off your sanctimonious robes of piety for a moment.

What if…

  • Someone close to you was brutally murdered?
  • Your business or investment ventures went bottom up tomorrow?
  • Your child was abducted, raped, and killed?
  • You came down with a rare disease that resulted in you languishing away in a sick bed the rest of your days?
  • A loved one, maybe even your own child, turned on you viciously?

let yourself walk through the varied emotions that would come with each of those scenarios…

You’d feel…

  • Anger
  • Dismay
  • Confusion
  • Betrayal
  • Helplessness
  • Disappointment
  • and a thousand other things

and they’d be directed at God, others, and the situation itself.

Would you be tempted to conclude something like this?

If this is how Jesus treats those who have given their lives to Him, then ‘No thanks,’ I don’t need that kind of friend.

What will keep you from coming to that kind of conclusion when tragedy strikes your life?

storms of life

Jesus is NOT

  • a genie who makes your wishes come true
  • a faith-activated formula to give you what you want
  • a vending machine to meet your needs

Jesus Christ is your LORD, and sovereign over the universe!

There is much, much more to Him than we can comprehend. He is worthy of our praise and devotion, no matter what happens.

In our efforts to better KNOW our Lord Jesus, my family and I have come upon three things about Him that work together to bring great confidence and comfort.

1 He’s all powerful

2 He is all wise.

3 He is entirely good.

Jesus is working all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). That’s you and me. So, even the horrendous, unthinkable things that could come into our lives, are part of His good plan for us.

Nothing got past Him.

Nothing was outside His control.

Our good, wise, all powerful Savior is still in control of everything, even when life seems to be falling apart.

Whatever comes into your life (from tragedy to inconvenience) is part of God’s good, wise, powerful plan for you.

You need to grow/develop the kind of faith that can not only accept those truths, but can even delight in them. Your kids need to develop that kind of faith, too.

My family and I are discovering that the more we truly BELIEVE these things about God, the more COMFORTING it becomes, no matter the circumstances.

How do you do it?

Saturate your mind(s) with these truths.

  • Find verses on these topics and make them memory projects.
  • Make these areas topics of discussion during family times.
  • Ponder them in your personal quiet time.
  • As a parent, you might even assign these concepts as topics of consideration and contemplation for your children’s quiet times (follow up with discussion).

Let go of the insistence to see God how you want Him to be.

  • Let the scriptures guide you in developing your view of God.
  • Ask Him to give you the desire to see Him as He really is.
  • Ask God to weaken your grip where you are holding on to an improper view of Him.
  • Ask Him to replace your wrong view with the right view.

Ponder the significance of these truths together, in practical situations.

  • Fashion real-life “what if” questions, like I did at the beginning of this post, and consider how these truths would benefit you in those situations.
  • Raise the difficult questions for your spouse and children to consider. Guide them in applying the truth of God to the situation.
  • Pray together about these situations, asking the LORD to give you the faith and strength you will need for such times of trial.

Praise God for these attributes, together.

  • Spend time as a family focusing on God’s attributes of power, wisdom, and goodness – and thank Him for being all of those FOR you.
  • Take turns sharing why you love God’s (blank – goodness, wisdom, power, etc.).
  • Write songs, make posters, create poems that focus on these areas of God’s character.

And in all of these things… be patient, especially with each other.

To wrap up… here’s a video from a young woman named Ginny Owens. Ginny is blind, and is an incredible example of faith in the face of unexplainable circumstances. Her song, “If you want me to” is a powerful testament of the kind of faith I’m eager to see you build in your family over the generations.

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Home sick

Home sick

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, June 13th, 2014 

No, I’m not missing the Texas panhandle, where I grew up. I’m home, sick today.

Fever.

Aches.

Headache.

Sore throat.

The works.

My daughter Melinda is such a generous person, she shared this wonderful experience with me. But it’s not really her fault, this bug (or some strange variation of it) has been trying to get a foothold in our household for weeks.

Being home sick made me wax philosophical this morning…

I looked out the window and saw the clear, calm, gorgeously stunning day and found it interesting to think that the word goes on, while I sit here at home, sick. There were a few things that came to mind:

  • It’s one more proof that the world doesn’t revolve around me (Andrew Murray has been teaching me that a lot lately.)
  • The effects of sin infiltrate creation in subtle ways to most of us. The rest of the world has no idea I’m sick, and doesn’t care. But it’s pretty debilitating to me, all the same.
  • I’ve been blessed with a wonderful wife, who’s been very attentive to me. I’m so thankful. It’s nice to be loved.
  • My kids and in-laws (who live with us, now), are all concerned. I’m thankful for their compassion.

home sick truth

 

And from what I’ve learned and observed, it’s in those difficult times that our spouse and children are able to see how real our faith in Christ really is.

Anyone can complain when they are sick… a person truly filled with Christ can rejoice (Philippians 4:4).

Anyone can expect others to serve them when they are down… a Spirit-led person can serve others in that situation.

Anyone can feel sorry for themselves… a true believer can be grateful for all the blessings they have in spite of the sickness.

It’s all dependent on the application of your faith in the God you claim to serve. Will He be glorified in your life, even when you are sick? He can be, if you choose to submit to the lead of His Spirit in it.

So… how does this hit you? Is there some work needed in your relationship with Christ?

Don’t sweat it. He’s done all the work for you… you just need to repent, receive His forgiveness, and begin following the lead of His Spirit.

Your family will thank you. You will thank you. And God will be honored.

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why do you follow Jesus

Why do you follow Jesus?

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, June 9th, 2014 

Why do you follow Jesus?

Really, I’m curious.

The REASON you follow Jesus will tell you a lot about the depth and genuine-ness of your faith in Him.

And it will speaks volumes to your children – both negatively and positively.

So really, why do you follow Jesus?

Do you follow Jesus because…

  • you think He’s a “blessing machine” that doles out rewards for good/religious behavior?
  • you have a misconstrued belief that He prevents all harm from coming to His followers?
  • your own parents taught you to follow Him and you’ve fallen into step behind them?
  • you want to have some sort of spiritual beliefs, and Jesus is the flavor you like most?
  • you don’t like the alternatives?

Biblically speaking, NONE of those are good reasons. Each one is a twisted motivation that actually leads AWAY from true devotion to Christ.

And if your kids get a whiff of those kinds of motives in you (and I guarantee you, they will), THEY will be led away from genuine faith in Christ too.

Good reasons for following Jesus are pretty simple.

one reason to follow jesus

Jesus is it.

He’s the beginning and the end (Revelation 22:13).

He’s the central theme and focus of all creation (Colossians 1:17).

He’s the one around whom all history revolves (Luke 24:27).

He’s the Creator God, who created YOU for His own purpose (Colossians 1:16).

That’s the kind of “following” that makes a difference.

Lead your kids down the same path

It’s that kind of enthralled devotion to the PERSON of Jesus that provokes the same kind of devotion in our children. They begin to fall in love with a Person, not a set of beliefs, or a list of benefits, or a religious system.

Faith becomes real to them.

Faith comes alive in their hearts.

How do you do it practically?

  • Your children need to know that you follow Jesus because of who He is. Tell them. Talk about it. Share your heart with them.
  • They need to hear you talk about how awesome He is. Marvel over Jesus with your children. Help them see His grandeur, His splendor, His amazing power and wisdom and grace.
  • They need to see that you are delighted with the amazing grace He’s shown in making you one of His own. Tell them your testimony of salvation. Tell them how He’s carried you when you’ve failed. Show them how patient, and kind, and compassionate He’s been toward you.

Below is a bit of inspiration… in the form of a song. Take the following 4 minutes and 32 seconds to remind yourself of the amazing, indescribable nature of your Savior, so that you can step away from the computer and draw your kids into the wonder of who He is. Watch, listen, then go and provoke your kids toward worship.

 

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praise and worship are hard work

Praise and worship are really, really hard

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, June 6th, 2014 

Praise and worship – it’s harder than it should be.

Sadly so.

Worship itself is a response. It’s a reaction to the greatness of God.

When the heart sees, with the eyes of faith,who God is and all that He’s done, worship is the natural response.

But we don’t easily see God in that way.

Sadly, the King and Creator of the universe is obscured from His creatures by an ever-widening range of trivial things.

  • possessions
  • ambitions
  • desires
  • toys
  • gimmicks
  • false securities
… and the list goes on. That’s why true praise and genuine worship are so hard.

But there’s another reason praise and worship are so difficult…

We get used to it.

We can too easily become accustomed to worship as an activity we do, during a worship service, with other people.

It can become synonymous with music, singing, liturgies, and body postures, rather than being what it truly is; a grateful response of a heart that has seen true glory.

Genuine praise and true worship are hard because fallen people like us are prone to getting the blinds drawn between us and the glory of our Gods. We’re distracted and drawn away from an intentional, ongoing focus on Him, by lesser things. In fact, we come to prefer the lesser things over the God who has given them to us.

praise and worship

So what’s a Christian parent to do? How do you learn how to genuinely worship, and then pass it on to your children?

Here’s my quick-list of tips – things you have to commit yourself to working on daily.

1 Work hard to keep the glory of God clear in your own mind.

You can never expect your children to see the glory of God if you, their parent, don’t demonstrate the importance of seeing it, in your own life. They need to see you pouring over the scriptures, and hearing why you do it. You need to repeatedly tell your kids, “I read the Bible because it shows me more and more of the wonders of God.”

But you can’t do it with no heart. You’ve got to mean it.

You’ve got to be searching the scriptures for yourself, like you’re searching for a treasure – because you are (Matthew 13:45-46). And you’ve got to be sharing that treasure with your children, every time you find it.

2 Encourage your kids to seek after the treasure for themselves.

It’s one thing to hear about a treasure somebody else has found. It’s quite another to find it yourself. Your kids need to see the glory of God personally.

They need you to help them find it.

  • Point out His glory in the sunset, and in the puppy, and in the fun of a good joke.
  • Draw out His provision and care in every blessing you share as a family.
  • Tell them how He’s held you up in your hardest times.
  • Explain to them why you will never turn away from Him.

You need to be the one who pulls up the blinds for them, to let the glory of God shine through.

3 Prepare your kids for times of corporate worship.

When your family will be joining with others for a time of worship (Sunday morning worship services, Sunday school, youth group, etc.), make sure you do some preemptive preparation.

Remind them why the activity is important. Point out how hard it can be to stay focused on God in the presence of distractions they might encounter (everything from a friend across the room to the Pastor’s unique quirks). Challenge them to seek God like treasure – in the music, in the spoken word, in the prayers, and in what He may be doing in their own hearts. Tell them you’re going to ask about their experience when it’s all over.

Then do it.

And emphasize that their experience of worship may or may not be emotional. What matters is that they work to express their apprehension or understanding of the worth of God, back to Him.

Genuine praise and worship are really, really hard…

for you and for your kids.

Make sure you do your part to help them become the true kind of worshipers the Father seeks (John 4:24).

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Below is one of my favorite songs (for now) that focuses on the greatness, awesome power, and majesty of our God. It reminds me of the kinds of things that are true of God, and nobody else. It reminds me why He is worthy of my worship and why I need to recommit myself, every day, to the hard work it takes to make sure that I AM truly worshiping Him daily.

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what is the purpose of your life

God used a family to…

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, June 2nd, 2014 

God used a family to...

 

How might the LORD want to use YOUR family?

What do you need to do in order to be in the context where He could?

What kind of leadership would it take, on your part, to position your family for it?

How could you improve the environment of your home/family, to make it more sensitive to the leading of His Spirit?

What key elements are missing in your spiritual health as a family?

What practical steps will you take to move in a God-ward direction?

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How healthy habits can impact generations

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, May 30th, 2014 

You can develop healthy habits (of thinking, feeling, communication, etc.) that impact your family for generations.

About a week ago, my oldest daughter (20 years old at the time of this writing) and my wife were talking, and my daughter said something along this line…

Mom, I’m so thankful you didn’t let me fall into the habit of letting my feelings control me. They would have, but you had the wisdom to make me respond according to what is true instead. At first it was hard, and I resented it. But as it became a habit, it transformed my life.

It’s hard to express what a blessing it was to overhear those words coming from that particular daughter. Why? Because when she was young (around 2 or 3 years old), she was a very moody child. We found ourselves in a constant battle with her emotions. In the years that followed, we had to consistently guide her out of those moody spells when they came around again. But look at how she views it now. She calls herself “transformed.”

There are 2 POWERFUL points she made…

1 Her parents didn’t allow her emotions to control her.

The way I phrased that is important. Her parents DIDN’T ALLOW it. Many parents believe a flawed kind of logic that goes something like this…

“I can’t control how my children feel. So, I have to try to understand them, empathize with what they’re feeling, and ride out the storm.”

healthy habits of emotion

As happened in my daughter’s case, the feelings will lose their power as they live according to the truth. In our experience, moodiness was nothing more than the power of sin seeking to dominate her… and we weren’t going to allow it to happen that way.

An example: 

Often, when that daughter woke from naps, she was “mad at the world.” Her eyebrows hung low over her eyes and you could feel the negative vibes emanating from her little body. Her responses to others during that “waking up” stage were snappy and even rude.

We determined that such behavior was unloving, did not bring glory to Christ, and would therefore, not be allowed. So, we talked with her about the issue, explaining what we saw, what it was (sinful), and that we would not allow it. We even told her what the consequences would be if she treated others that way again.

Then, we went to war. Literally, the three of us went to war against the tyranny of her emotions. For us parents, consistency and determination were key. We were not going to allow our daughter to grow up into an emotionally controlled young woman.

And from her own mouth, we hear that she feels her life is changed, for the better, because we didn’t allow it.

2 She was made to respond according to what was true

An example:

Every time our dear daughter woke and came out of her room with a bad attitude, we’d remind her what we’d talked about, and require her to go back to her room, ask Jesus for help to love people as she should, and try again. Sometimes she needed our help in knowing how to do those things (especially when she was young). Eventually, she’d do it on her own, and might even be in her room a long while before she was ready to come out again.

But finally, with lots of time and consistency, she began to gain the victory over the power of sinful emotions. The moody attitude when first coming from her room after a nap decreased in frequency, until finally, she was relatively free of it.

This was all just the “training ground” for when she finally placed her faith in Christ. Then the Holy Spirit came online and she really began to make progress.

Healthy habits have a long term (even eternal) impact

There are quite a few ways I see that our daughter’s freedom from the dominance of emotion will carry into the future…

  • She will be (and is) less emotionally controlled in the face of fear, danger, or doubt.
  • She is able to assess and live out her relationships according to God’s wisdom much more easily than she would have been.
  • She will be able to guide her children away from the sin of emotional dominance and toward obedience

And THAT is where the generational impact comes in.

Her children, and their children, and the children come after them, will all benefit from the incredible gift of healthy emotional habits that has been given to our daughter.

Do you see how important your parental role is? You are not just raising “well adjusted, productive citizens.” You’re shaping souls for the glory of God.

You’re enabling children to walk by the Spirit through wise, consistent instruction and discipline.

You can impact generations through your consistency now. And that, can change the world!

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Here’s a fun video from a crazy group that highlights the attitude and irritation that comes from a person who is emotionally (selfishly) controlled. If you need the lyrics, you can look below the video. The song is called “Drama Queen” – the group is Family Force 5.

 

Chicka-pow! Don’t shoot me down
Oh no! How low can you goDriving fast to get to work
Queen is there just being a jerk
Running her mouth a million miles an hour
She’s talking trash
It’s going sour
That stuff that makes you hurt
Cut you down, make you hit the dirt

Say, She’s got that DIVA thing
That D-I-V-A diva thing
Sing

Why can’t you say ur sorry?
For treating me so naughty
Just want an apology
Is that against ur personal theology?
What’d I do to deserve this?
How’d I get on ur bad list?
Just want to make it right
Please Queen Please
Let’s not fight
Let’s not fight, Let’s not fight, I don’t wanna fight tonight
You had ur chance to right ur wrong
Can’t we all just get along?

[Chorus] You go and talk behind my back
Don’t you know that’s whack
It’s a personal attack
Oh snap
Some friend you are to me
Ur Miss Personality
Are you blind to see?
Ur such a Drama Queen

Fresh off the chopping block
She cut me deep and it hurts a lot
She hit me with her best shot
And never gave a second thought
That’s to much Drama for me mama
Why do you like to stir it?
When I am near you throw fits
You cry Oh me me me
Ain’t you got no decency?
You dish it out- I take it
I wish you’d just stop fakin’
In ur mind ur grass is green
But I know youse a Drama Queen
Ur such a, ur such a, ur such a Drama Queen

[Chorus]

You go and talk behind my back
Don’t you know that’s wack
It’s a personal attack
Oh snap
Some friend you are to me
Ur Miss Personality
Are you blind to see?
Ur such a Drama Queen

She’s a Drama Queen if you know what I mean
She’ll get under ur skin and make you scream
Owwww, Drama Queen
I need a vaccine cause you so mean
You got a disease I don’t need and it pays no heed to get it
So better quit it
Cause a friend in need is a friend indeed and you ain’t that
Youse a Drama Queen

Emphatic, Dramatic, ur like a psychosomatic
Ur always so problematic
Ur drama is cinematic
There’s no comparison to the damage you’ve done
But you’ve only begun with ur hit and run’s

[Chorus]

You go and talk behind my back
Don’t you know that’s whack
It’s a personal attack
Oh snap
Some friend you are to me
Ur Miss Personality
Are you blind to see?
Ur such a Drama Queen

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ep74cover - quiet time

Podcast 74 – Teach your kids personal quiet time habits (2nd of 2 parts)

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, May 28th, 2014 

God is faithful to do His work in our children, as we are faithful to teach them how to seek Him through quiet time practices…

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/ LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

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This podcast is part 2 of a conversation I had with my children 2 years ago about how the LORD has faithfully led them to seek Him through the habit of personal quiet time. As you’ll hear, none of them are perfect at it, and none of them feels they have a walk with the LORD totally wired. But each of them has their own genuine relationship with Christ and loves that they do. My prayer (and theirs) is that you’ll be blessed and better equipped to help your children grow into a genuine, vibrant relationship with Jesus that will fuel their lives for the equipping of the next generation.

Your kids can learn to have their own quiet time with God… and you can help them get there!

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I’m available for speaking on this and other topics. Find out more at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/speaking

I also provide life coaching, spiritual coaching services. Find out more at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/coaching

Find products from Christian Home and Family at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/store

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/ LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

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positive thinking is not the answer

Positive thinking is not the answer- put on your blessing goggles

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, May 26th, 2014 

In 1952, Norman Vincent Peale wrote “The Power of Positive Thinking.”

The book stayed on the New York Times best-seller list for 186 consecutive weeks. Needless to say, the book was a huge success.

The idea of thinking positively about life has been floating around in the philosophical and cultural atmosphere ever since. You still hear echoes of the idea in statements made by business and spiritual gurus all across the globe. Here are some examples:

An attitude of positive expectation is the mark of the superior personality. – Brian Tracy

If you can dream it, then you can achieve it. – Zig Ziglar[/gn_quote]

The only place where your dream becomes impossible is in your own thinking. – Robert H Schuller

The latest version of this is contained in a book and movie called “The Secret.” Here’s how one author describes the theory within the book…

According to “The Secret,” our thoughts and feelings attract a corresponding energy to ourselves. If our thoughts are negative, we attract negative things. If our feelings are positive, we attract positive things. The essential message of “The Secret” is that we all have the power to determine our own destiny. We can all create our own reality.

AS attractive and hopeful as that approach may sound…  positive thinking of that kind is pure bunk.

You can think positively all day, every day, for your entire life, and still wind up with nothing to show for it.

Well, that’s not entirely true. What you’ll have to show for it is a more self-centered view of life.

The reality is that God is in control of the universe. He does all that He pleases (Psalm 115:3) and is over all (Ephesians 4:6).

we don't control reality

However… that’s not to say that the way we think about life has no effect at all.

If we think according to what is true (as God reveals it), then we will be better off (Romans 12:2). If we think according to what is not true (as God reveals it), we will be worse off.

So, it’s not a matter of “positive thinking” as much as it is a matter of “truthful thinking.”

Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:32)

What the LORD says about life in this world

Lately, I’ve been studying the book of Ecclesiastes, and I’m finding that it’s not the depressing book I once believed it to be. Through the wisdom of Solomon, the LORD is showing me some powerful truths about life in this world. Here’s one of the things that’s hit me hardest…

Behold, what I have seen to be good and fitting is to eat and drink and find enjoyment in all the toil with which one toils under the sun the few days of his life that God has given him, for this is his lot. Everyone also to whom God has given wealth and possessions and power to enjoy them, and to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil—this is the gift of God. For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart. – Ecclesiastes 5:18-20

This passage is not an excuse to go carousing night after night in the bars (though I’ve heard some try to justify their behavior that way). It addresses the activities of life, and more importantly, how we VIEW them.

There are three phrases that stand out to me…

1 “what I have seen to be good and fitting”

Before revealing what he’s seen, Solomon makes a comment about it. What he has seen is good. It’s fitting. It’s the right way to think, based on the truth of God.

We have to start there, with the willingness to humble ourselves to the point that we can accept what God says about our place in the world. So, before we go any further, ask yourself this question:

Are you willing to accept what God says about your place in the world? Even if it sounds uncomfortable or contrary to what you’ve always dreamed?

If you can do that, you’re on your way to adopting what is good and fitting for you, as God’s creature.

2 “find enjoyment in all the toil”

The implication is that enjoyment is available, embedded into the fabric of everything that makes up our lives. Work, play, relationships, responsibilities, even suffering… all of them have an element of enjoyment inherent within them.

I’m not saying we’re to adopt a demented, masochistic view about pain. But we are to look for what God is doing in it, behind the scenes.

As God’s creatures, we are responsible to look for the blessing, to search them out, and in doing so, we’ll be showing that we trust our Father, who is working even the most difficult things, for our good and His glory (Romans 8:28).

3 “to accept his lot and rejoice in his toil – this is the gift of God.”

I’m not a Pollyanna sort of guy. I know that life can be very, very hard. I know life can be unfair, painful, and distressing, and I’m in no way saying that we are to deny those facts.

But there is something powerful about accepting our life, as it is, as from the hand of our loving God. I know that statement is very hard to swallow, but walk with me through this for a moment…

It’s a huge stretch for some of you to accept what I’ve just said, because much of your life has been painfully difficult.

But be assured, God’s gifts, His blessings are there, in the midst of the pain. They are not always the type of “blessings” we expect, but they are exactly what our LORD deems is best for us; things like the opportunity for us to grow in faith, the strengthening of our character, the growth of our ability to see the LORD alone as our all-sufficient treasure.

Our responsibility, as His creatures, is to humble ourselves under His mighty hand (1 Peter 5:6), whatever it has brought into our lives. That means, at least in part, to accept our life, as it is, and learn to rejoice in the toil it contains because we know our God is up to good.

When we do this, we’re learning to rejoice in being who He’s made us to be. We’re learning to rejoice in the part He’d have us play in His plans. It’s submitting ourselves to His will, which is always good (Psalm 119:68).

The nature of our struggle

The things I’m saying are so hard for us to grasp because sin has wired us to fixate on the negatives, even when positives are present. The shadows of the negative events in our lives easily darken the good things that exist right alongside them. If we let them, the negative events or circumstances of life will convince us that God is not doing good in our lives. We might even come to believe He’s doing evil.

But what we have to keep in mind is this: The shadow proves the sunshine.

Putting on your “blessing goggles”

As I was reading this passage, my imagination kicked in. I began to picture a sci-fi / fantasy kind of situation where a person was given a pair of glasses that revealed a hidden world around them. With the glasses in place, this person could see the spiritual realm, and the kinds of things God and His angelic servants were doing behind the scenes. They could see the long-term impact of their current actions and attitudes, they could see the eternal ends to which the pains of the present day were leading.

Can you imagine what that would be like?

You’d be able to:

  • Move ahead confidently, in spite of difficulties.
  • Endure present pain because of the certainty of future outcomes.
  • Be a better leader to your family in the hard times, because of where you know you’re going to wind up.

That would be great, wouldn’t it. Here’s the application:

eyes of faith

That’s what Paul means when he tells us that we “walk by faith, not by sight” (2 Corinthians 5:7). We live our lives as people of faith, trusting our God to do and be doing what He has promised He will do.

What is the result?

Solomon says it best…

For he will not much remember the days of his life because God keeps him occupied with joy in his heart.

An attitude (way of thinking) that:

  1. accepts the place in the world God has given you, and
  2. looks for the blessings behind the circumstances you face

Will result in GOD HIMSELF putting joy into your heart.

You’ll look back on the days of your life without the shadows of the negative events blotting out the positive. Your life will be one characterized by joy, true joy, no matter the toil or obstacles you’ve faced.

What does this mean for the way you lead your family?

Here’s a short-list of the ways I see this applying to the leadership of family:

  • All of you need to be learning God’s truth about life through time in the scriptures (here’s some ideas for how to take aim at that – here and here).
  • You should take the initiative to talk regularly about life and the hardships each of you face (here’s a post on how to go about doing that).
  • You need to be reminding each other, daily, how great our God is and how He is actively working in ways you cannot see.
  • You, the parent, need to set the course by your own example. (I’ve written plenty on that topic).
  • You can fill your home with scripture and music that reaffirms the truths you’re wanting to embrace and live by (Here and here are some resources toward that end).

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To wrap up this post, here’s an oldie but a goodie from a band that had an enormous impact in my life as a teenager. I wore the grooves off this album from playing it so much (you do remember albums, don’t you?) That’s a testimony to the power of putting God’s word all around you. Saturate yourself and your family with God’s truth, so that you can remember it in the toilsome times.

I hope you don’t mind the dated musical style… but the word are straight scripture, and encouraging to my heart.  Enjoy!

 

 

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How kids can develop their own personal time with God

Podcast 73 – How kids can have their own personal time with God

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, May 21st, 2014 

In this episode of the podcast, I’m having a conversation with 3 teens about how they developed their own personal devotional time with God

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

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Every Christian parent I know wants their children to learn how to walk closely with the LORD. We know how important it is to maintain a vibrant relationship with God as an adult, and want it for our kids too.

In this episode of the Christian Home and Family podcast, which is quite a bit longer than my normal episodes… I’m going to be having a conversation with three great young folks – my three oldest kids, Aaron, Melinda, and Madeline. This conversation was recorded almost two years ago, and is a “repeat performance” of the Christian Home and Family podcast (originally aired as episode 4). The reason I’m doing a repeat episode is because this is one of the most downloaded and listened to episodes in the history of the podcast, and I have many new listeners since the time it originally aired. I want everyone to benefit from the great work God has done in these three kids… and I pray it will be a great blessing to you! Hear the story of three great teens about how they developed the habit of personal time with God.

Your kids can learn to have their own time with God… and you can help them get there!

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I’m available for speaking on this and other topics. Find out more at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/speaking

I also provide life coaching, spiritual coaching services. Find out more at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/coaching

Find products from Christian Home and Family at http://www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/store

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/ LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

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