It may sound like a silly question, but I’m not joking… because God doesn’t joke about the way Christian husbands are to love their wives. You and I are to love our wives in a way that reflects the love that Jesus has for His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25).
In our first years of marriage the LORD used that truth to hammer me… hard. I can recall innumerable times when He confronted me with my own insensitivity to the person I loved the most (my wife). I remember His Spirit taking me back to Ephesians 5:25, asking me, “Where is the love in how you are treating her?” I discovered that if I am not intentionally aiming at Christ-like love toward her, I will naturally cause her to feel “unsafe” with me.
So… I ask you, “Is your wife SAFE with you?” Here’s a “checklist” to help you evaluate…
- Does she feel safe to express her disagreement with you? (Or do you act threatened, defensive, or become intimidating when she does?)
- Is she confident that her emotional struggles will never wear you out? (Or have you caused her to feel that her emotions are too much for you?)
- While we’re on the subject, does she feel cared for in her emotions? (Or does she feel like you just tolerate her emotions?)
- When she “nags” you (intentionally or unintentionally) is she assured of your love anyway? (Or does she feel that if she says it one more time, it’s gonna’ get ugly?)
- During “that time of the month” does she know you’ll be extra understanding and tender? (Or does she fear that you’ll once again be irritated and unfeeling toward her struggle?)
- Does she feel that you really hear her when she shares her heart? (Or are you going through the motions and not really understanding her?)
- Does she trust you with her heart to the point she opens it up to you? (Or is she guarded because of your careless responses in the past?)
- Is she physically safe with you? (Or do you use your size, loudness, and physical presence to back her into a place of fearful submission?)
We men can be pretty insensitive. Abrasive. Cold. Calloused. Not always intentionally, but simply because we are men. Sadly, our wives are the ones we can be the most insensitive toward, when we are supposed to be living with them in a much different way (1 Peter 3:7).
As Christians, we are entirely SAFE with Jesus.
- His motives are unquestionable. Whatever He does toward us, we can be fully assured that He is doing it out of love (Romans 8:35-39).
- His track record is spotless. He’s not only told us that He loves us, He’s proved it in the most extreme way imaginable (Romans 5:8)
- His word truly is His bond. Whatever He has promised (2 Peter 3:13; 1 John 2:25), we can be assured He will do.
- THEREFORE we are entirely SAFE with Him. We can trust Him with the entirety of who we are.
THAT is how we Christian husbands
are to love our wives.
So once again…
Christian husband, is your wife SAFE with you?by