20 characteristics of proud men…
- Cares more about how he looks to people outside the home than he does about how he treats those inside the home.
- Is more concerned about getting his way than he is about advancing God’s way in the lives of his family members.
- Expects his family to listen to him, but doesn’t care to listen to his family.
- In his marital squabbles, he’s concerned with being the one who’s “right,” instead of being right in God’s eyes.
- Doesn’t think he needs anybody’s help, even though God gave his wife to BE his helper (Genesis 2:18).
- Can’t handle criticism.
- Expects his wife to serve him, when he is called to serve his wife (Ephesians 5:25-26).
- Won’t admit he has blind spots.
- Views legitimate questions about his decisions as challenges to his authority.
- Thinks success at work equals success in life.
- Believes that his wife’s emotions are wrong.
- Will never apologize. Never.
- Doesn’t think he should have to explain himself.
- Accuses his wife of being a “nag” when she tries to help with areas of weakness.
- Says he considers others’ opinions, but really doesn’t.
- Makes lots of presumptions with little communication.
- Finds anyone to blame but himself.
- Won’t accept that his real job is at home.
- Tries to fix the blame instead of fixing the problem.
- Never considers that he might be the problem.
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you. – First Peter chapter 5, verses 5-6
Proud men destroy their own marriages.
What would you add to the list?
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Thank you for your candor and telling it like it is. I found this post encouraging. Can you offer any insight to how wives in this situation can be most helpful to their husbands?
@LauraBennet Hi Laura, and thanks for joining the discussion.
My first suggestion is to pray for the LORD to humble your husband (and grit your teeth). It may take a lot, and some painful stuff too… but it has to happen. Secondly, I’d work hard at being one who encourages the things you see him doing that ARE (or at least “appear”) humble. We all tend to move toward the things we think others appreciate, and in this case your encouragement in those areas could move him toward something he’s lacking.
I pray for you right now Laura… that God will mercifully humble your husband.
@Carey Green Thanks for the advice, insight and prayer! God is the only one who can do his work in each of us. I’m convicted that I don’t give enough “benefit of the doubt” in the areas that appear humble. Thanks for your comments. Much appreciated.
@LauraBennet You are welcome. I was just over checking out your site. I look forward to “digging in” to your content a bit more!
@Carey Green Thanks. I hope you enjoy it.
Every single thing in your list exactly describes my ex-husband. Our divorce, which I initiated, was finalized last week.
@Margie I’m so sorry to hear of the pain you’ve gone through. It’s tragic that these are the kinds of things that hold people back from being truly what the LORD expects them to be. I’ll be praying for you both in the days ahead… the LORD will be faithful.
My husband fits the bill in all of these. He plans to leave and doesn’t seem to care how it’s going to affect our children (the oldest will be graduating this year, on our anniversary). I actually found your site while looking for marriage intensives because I still believe God can save our marriage. What I want to know, other than praising him for even insignificant things he does that benefits others, is there anything I can do right now to save us? Thank you!
@SB Hi SB.. I’m so sorry to hear your painful situation, and that you are having to walk through it. My main suggestion right now is prayer… that the LORD will truly break your husband’s heart over his pride and sin. We both know it takes two to get you to the point you’re at, but it also takes two to rebuild. Your husband would need a total reversal of heart direction and only God can provide that. I will join with you in prayer and will ask my mailing list to join with us. I’d love to see God do a transforming work in your lives and marriage. We just saw that happen last week in an intensive, but one of the key elements was that both husband and wife were desperate for it in their own hearts. I am praying.