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santa is a lie

Santa, lying, and Christian parenting

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, December 3rd, 2012 

When you fool your kids about Santa, you are the one being fooled

Christian parents, let’s take the issue of Santa out of the realm of emotion, holiday “magic,” and happy memories and look at it through the lens of reality.

Santa, as our culture portrays him, IS NOT REAL.

You know that.

I know that.

Our kids MUST know that… no matter how old they are.

Why would I insist that we tell our kids the truth about Santa?

There are many reasons, but here are my TOP 3:

1. As Christians we should be the first to celebrate the birth of Jesus, our Savior.

Sounds like a “Duh…” statement, but it needs to be said.  We need to make much of Christmas because we are making much of CHRIST. Jesus is what makes us Christ-ian at all, so He should take priority over everything else, especially Santa. Christians are radicals by their very nature (Luke 14:33). We are radical about Jesus. Why let one of the greate

santa is a lie

st opportunities to talk about the historicity of Jesus get turned into a side-show starring on overweight, house-breaking, stalker in a red velvet suit?

We need to be focused on making Christmas meaningful – for the real reason it is meaningful – JESUS.

2. When you tell your kids Santa is real, you are LYING TO THEM (and teaching them that it’s O.K. to lie).

This may be the very first time you have ever thought of it that way, but take the time to walk it through in your own head.  Here’s the truth of what happens:

  • Parents – CHRISTIAN parents – go to elaborate extremes to DECEIVE THEIR OWN CHILDREN.
  • They work overtime (late night on Christmas Eve included) to exploit the innocence of their children so that they will believe in a magical, mythical personage  called “Santa.”
  • That’s the reality of it… and it’s not consistent with Christianity or the Christ we serve.

Why would we LIE to our kids?  Don’t we tell them NOT to lie?  Don’t we tell them that WE don’t lie?  We should set the example of integrity, even in this.

I know, I know – Santa is just a “fun” thing that kids love… but lying about a culturally acceptable myth is still lying.  Telling our kids that Santa is real, when he is not, is a LIE.

Here’s a little story: I know a grown man in his 40s who was deeply hurt when he found out (age 12) that Santa was not real.  To this day he is still fairly upset about his parents’  “deceit” (his word).  He says it’s been hard to learn to trust them since they went “all out” to make Santa seem so real for the first 11 years of his life.

You might think he’s a guy who’s just a bit too sensitive, or unstable.  He’s not.  He’s your average, successful businessman, who loves his wife and kids and serves faithfully in his church.  He’s very balanced and very wise.  And he’s one of the few people I’ve heard talk about this issue for what it really is – deceit.

3. Consider the message you are sending to your kids when you say the following… “Santa is real, AND Jesus is real.”

First – you are putting two personages (one a myth, the other a historical and divine PERSON) on equal terms – connected to the same holiday celebration.

Second – the day will come when they find out that Santa is NOT real.  What do you think that does to them when it comes to considering whether Jesus is real?

If mom and dad lied about Santa, why wouldn’t they be lying about Jesus?

Do you see the confusion and potentially faith-damaging consequences such an “innocent” story can have?

What if I’ve already told my kids that Santa is real? What do I do about it now?

It’s not as hard as it sounds, and there is actually a biblical pattern for it.

CONFESS AND REPENT

Be humble enough to admit your wrong to your kids. Explain to them how you were fooled into thinking it was O.K. to lie about Santa, but you’ve learned that it’s not. Tell them how you want to honor Jesus most of all, and that Jesus doesn’t want you to lie anymore. Ask them to forgive you.

You know what will happen?

  • They will understand.
  • They will forgive you.
  • They will learn what it looks like to humbly confess sin and repent of it.

Can you think of a BETTER outcome than that?

What my family does about Santa

  • We tell our kids the truth, from day one.  Santa is like Mickey Mouse or Luke Skywalker. He’s a fun character who is entirely pretend.  Our kids (and yours) need to live in light of reality.Along this line, it would be a great holiday tradition to tell your kids about the REAL St. Nicholas and thank God for such a generous and kind man.
  • We used to enjoy the Santa movies, etc. during the holiday season, again emphasizing that it’s pretend and that Christmas is really about Jesus’ birth.  The kids enjoyed them – and we enjoyed them.  But we kept the perspective as it should be – grounded in reality, not deception.  That may still be a viable option for many Christian families, but we’ve turned a corner from there…
  • We’ve since changed our family’s convictions.  We no longer have anything to do with Santa.  We got rid of all our Santa movies and are still purging our Christmas music collection of Santa-referencing tunes.  Why?  That leads me to a story…

One week our family came across 1 Timothy 4:7 in one of our family devotion times.  It instructs believers to have nothing to do with irreverent, silly myths, but rather to train ourselves to be Godly.  As we read and discussed that chapter one night in family time, one of my sons asked, “Dad, doesn’t Santa fall into that category?” I could easily say, “Yes” because it seemed so obvious. But I didn’t see what was coming. He said, “Then why do we own Santa-based movies?” Touche. That was a really, really good question. My only answer was, “Because we haven’t thought carefully about that issue.” The entire family talked about it some more, prayed together, and decided that in order to better train ourselves to be Godly, and to honor Jesus above all, we would get rid of our Christmas stuff that had to do with Santa. All of it. Nobody misses the jolly old elf… really.
  • We have chosen NOT to have any Santa decorations in our home.  We would rather not see a pretend character everywhere when our goal at Christmas is to focus on a very REAL Savior.
  • We don’t do the “Santa” presents under the tree or the milk and cookies thing.  We don’t have to be concerned with all that when we tell the truth.

I’m NOT a killjoy. – I just love Jesus… much more than Santa. 

More than the fun of pretend.

More than traditions handed down through the family.

More than my culture’s idea of what is acceptable.

More than what other parents (or their kids) might think.

And I want my family to love Jesus like that too. 

Christians are to imitate Christ, and in order to do so MUST be people of integrity, no matter the issue. When it comes to Christmas, we should do so for the much more important reason of honoring our Savior above and beyond anyone else – even Santa.

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Categories : Parenting
Tags : is santa real, santa, santa claus, the truth about santa, what to tell kids about santa, wplongform

Comments

  1. HeatherHolland says:
    December 3, 2012 at 9:53 am

    From the very beginning, we’ve told our kids the following:
     
    1.  Santa isn’t real.
    2.  Santa is very loosely based on a real person (cue story of Saint Nicholas).
    3.  It can be fun for a lot of people to pretend.
    4.  … But Christmas is really about Jesus.
     
    This has made it not a big deal.  They don’t expect any more out of Santa than they would out of, say, Dora, or Cinderella.
     
    I respect your decision to purge Santa entirely, but for us, since he’s been a fictional character from the beginning, that would be no more useful as a symbolic gesture than throwing out all of our Llama Llama books (because llamas don’t really talk.  Or wear pajamas.)  Really, thinking about it, I think for us at least, active purging of Santa-stuff would make him a much bigger deal than our kids currently think he is… there’s plenty of things for our kids as Christians to be “at war” with our culture over, but I don’t really see Santa as one of the “hills to be dying on”.  Granted maybe he’s more important to some people than I realize.

    • Carey Green says:
      December 3, 2012 at 11:19 am

      @HeatherHolland Hi Heather, and thanks for joining the conversation. I think you guys too have started this whole issue very well! Your kids will love you (even more) for it! I hadn’t really planned on purging the santa stuff from our home, until my son mentioned it… and connected to the passage we were studying, it was an issue of conviction for us. The LORD surely leads in different applications of his truth in varying situations! Blessings to you guys… how are things in the great white northern regions of the US? Not very white here…

      • HeatherHolland says:
        December 3, 2012 at 11:55 am

        @Carey Green Well, you know how Erika is… she would go on a crusade and rampage across her kindergarten insisting that all references to Santa be purged if we tried something like that. 😉  So we’re happy with “not real, not a big deal” for now. 😉  But, each family has its own issues to get convicted about, I’m sure there are/will be a few things our family is strict on that would raise others’ eyebrows. 😉
         
        It’s not very white and so very cold.  -6F when I dropped Erika off at school this morning.  I have the day off to un-disaster-ify the house and put all our stuff away, as we just very reluctantly returned from Hawaii. 😉

        • HeatherHolland says:
          December 3, 2012 at 12:01 pm

          All good, but, it was nice to get some warmth and sun… it’s just so cold and dark here.

  2. Loren Pinilis says:
    December 3, 2012 at 10:03 am

    We’re still figuring out the details since our oldest is just four, but we’ve started to talk heavily about Saint Nicholas – how he was a real person who did great things because he loved Jesus. We link it to the birth of Christ rather than having the two compete as secular vs. religious traditions.

    • Carey Green says:
      December 3, 2012 at 11:17 am

      @Loren Pinilis Sounds like you two thought this through much more quickly than most… I think your kids are going to look back and love your honesty and focus on what is truly true!

  3. Carey Green says:
    December 3, 2012 at 11:58 am

    @HeatherHolland Wow… trying very hard not to be jealous (about the Hawaii thing). How are the job situations working out? What you expected?

  4. Bethany says:
    December 21, 2013 at 6:00 am

    Read your article and you brought up some valid points. I just like the way Santa shows up at St. Jude and passes out presents to all the sick children in the hospital. There faces just light up. Then I got to thinking,”what if someone dressed up as Jesus and passed out presents”? Besides being sorta’ weird, that wouldn’t make sense. Jesus passing out gifts on his birthday? So, it is what it is. The Santa that I know and grew up with has brought much happiness to this world. Your convictions I believe are sacred because they come from God. But I was wondering. What does your children do at school parties or in the mall when Santa is in such close proximity? Are they also telling other kids that Santa isn’t real? Are they rolling their eyes when they see other kids get excited when St. Nick shows up?

    • Carey says:
      December 21, 2013 at 9:08 am

      Hi Bethany, thanks for pitching in to the conversation. I think that if Jesus showed up and gave gifts, it would be great… and very appropriate. That’s what His birth was, a gift to all of us. The gifts we exchange are symbols of that greatest gift that God gave to us.

      Regarding my kids… they have been taught not to be callous in breaking the news of reality to other kids. We all (including my kids) see it as a thing where other parents are doing their kids wrong (by lying to them), and it’s not the kid’s fault… so they don’t break the news. My kids basically ignore santa wherever he might appear, and say nothing if other kids are talking about him.

      Most recently, I heard this audio telling why Santa is an issue for Christian parents and families. I loved it. Maybe you could give it a listen? I’d love to hear your feedback.

      http://www.desiringgod.org/blog/posts/rethinking-santa

  5. laura says:
    January 15, 2014 at 12:02 pm

    Just a thought regarding 1Timothy 4:7…

    In context, I believe the “silly myths” Paul is referring to are those teachings about abstaining from marriage and requiring abstinence from certain food. (verses 2-4). The verses before and after his instruction to avoid “silly myths” deal with treating the physical body a certain way.

    Thank you for your ministry!

    • Carey says:
      January 15, 2014 at 7:15 pm

      Thanks for that input Laura! I’ll have to check out that context!

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