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stay at home mom

What I told my kids about their stay at home mom

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, March 18th, 2013 

The choice to be a stay at home mom is often misunderstood

… by friends

… by family

… by society at large.

Too often, it’s seen as a “second rate” decision,

or that women who make the choice to be a stay at home mom are somehow behind the times or unenlightened.

But it’s not… it’s a decision made on the basis of conviction and priority.

I’m not saying that no mom should ever work outside the home…

stay at home mom

 

But I will say that if you’re going to make that decision, you’d better know two things…

  1. What your God-given priorities are.
  2. How your decision to work outside the home is going to affect them.

There is biblical precedence for a mom/wife to contribute the the family income (Proverbs 31:16, 24), so I’d never say it shouldn’t happen.

But there’s a greater emphasis on her loving her husband and children through working diligently at making a home (Titus 2:4-5).

In my understanding of the scriptures, if a woman can do that well, then she’s free to take on additional responsibilities.

If she’s not able to do that well, then she already has her work cut out for her.

What I told my kids about their stay at home mom…

When Mindi and I first married, we talked through these issues.

We decided that when we began to have children, she would be staying home.

What was most important to us was…

  • That we raise our kids, not some unknown day-care worker or relative.
  • That Mindi be the one who was available when those important questions came to the kids’ minds.
  • That we be able to carry out the instruction of Deuteronomy 6:4-5 each and every day, 24/7.

We did so with a very keen awareness of what the world around us thought of our decision.

So I decided that as the kids grew older,

I was going to make sure THEY understood her decision to be a stay at home mom…

…even if nobody else did.

I still remember the conversation I had with Aaron and Melinda (our two oldest children).

It went something like this…

Do you know how important you are?

You are so important, your mommy decided that she wanted to be with you at home.

She is very smart, and could have chosen to get a job where she could do lots of important things, and make lots of money.

But she thought it was more important to set aside all her time to be at home with you.

There are many things she’s good at, that she could have chosen to spend her time on.

But she decided that you were more important, so she chose to stay at home for your sake.

I remember the look of wonder in their eyes, the look of the lights going on…

Mommy chose them over everything else.

That made a difference to them.

And it made a difference to her that I told the kids about it.

It made her feel…

  • valued.
  • supported.
  • important.

And she was (is).

Thank you Mindi, my love. You are one of the most intelligent, competent women I’ve ever known…

and you are investing your life in eternity, every day, at home.

Thank you.

Tell me what YOU appreciate about the stay at home mom(s) in your life?

OR… if YOU are a stay at home mom, why did you make that decision?

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Categories : Parenting
Tags : motherhood, role of a mother, stay at home mom

Comments

  1. Hmadsen says:
    March 19, 2013 at 5:53 am

    Love this post Carey!  Thanks for validating a woman’s choice to stay home and take care of her family.  I’ve worked both outside and inside my family.  Both are rewarding and challenging but I’ll take being a stay at home Mom any day of the week 🙂

    • Carey Green says:
      March 19, 2013 at 8:19 am

      Hmadsen Hi Helena… thanks for the post. That’s exactly how my wife feels! BTW, I have put you on a “white list” so your comments don’t have to be approved any more. Glad to have your input, as always!

  2. SarahBoergerSmith says:
    March 19, 2013 at 10:51 am

    I enjoyed being a stay at home full time for a few years. I wish I still could be home, but our lives changed after my husband is now a stay at home dad due to his health. I miss being home full time and feel I miss out on things because of being so tired and being away so much. Gabe makes up for a lot of it, but I know that being at home means a lot to my kids. I am so thankful I didn’t have to take my kids to day care. My oldest only had a in home sitter, we knew well when I was a single mom for awhile. I am so thankful for all the fun days I had with them when they were younger. I am grateful they have more time with their daddy now as well. My mom was at home with us for 16 years and I know it made all the difference in the world in my eyes!! I am so thankful that my SIL’s get to be stay at home mom’s as well!!

    • Carey Green says:
      March 19, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      SarahBoergerSmith Sarah… I hadn’t heard about Gabe’s issues. I’m so sorry to hear it! You are right, life throws us curves sometimes and the ideal is not always possible. But I LOVE your attitude of gratitude! I can’t help but believe that the LORD is smiling because of it! Blessings to you!

    • Livefyre says:
      March 19, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      SarahBoergerSmith Sarah… I hadn’t heard about Gabe’s issues. I’m so sorry to hear it! You are right, life throws us curves sometimes and the ideal is not always possible. But I LOVE your attitude of gratitude! I can’t help but believe that the LORD is smiling because of it! Blessings to you!

  3. Loren Pinilis says:
    March 22, 2013 at 12:27 pm

    Great post, Carey. My in-laws once calculated that my mother-in-law staying home instead of working essentially forfeited a million dollars of income over their lifetime. Thinking of it like that really showed the children how important they were.

    • Carey Green says:
      March 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm

      Loren Pinilis Wow… that is pretty amazing! That was a great idea to actually calculate it!

    • Livefyre says:
      March 22, 2013 at 2:54 pm

      Loren Pinilis Wow… that is pretty amazing! That was a great idea to actually calculate it!

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