Confessions of a stupid husband :: Christian Home and Family

I’ve done some very, very stupid things as a husband.

It’s embarrassing.

I didn’t have a clue.

Especially in the earlier years of our marriage.

In this post I’m going to share a couple of my stupid husband stories in hopes that some of you who are being stupid husbands at this very moment can recognize yourself in my mistakes…

and with the LORD’s help, make some changes.

STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #1: I expected her (a woman) to be like me (a man).

I knew my wife was different than me.

But I didn’t expect her to actually be different than me.

How did this stupid husband stunt look when it played out?

One time, (O.K., more than once) I expected her to “just get over it” when she was emotionally upset.

Say it with me, “STUPID HUSBAND!”

Guys, in case you haven’t noticed, your wife

thinks differently than you
feels differently than you
values different things than you
enjoys different things than you
dislikes different things than you
is hurt by things you are not
and on, and on, and on

God made her that way. He made her that way for your good.

If she’s upset, try to understand WHY she’s upset. Try to understand how the circumstances have affected her.

CARE for her instead of trying to “fix it” or get out of the discomfort you feel because she is upset.

Peter comes to our aid here, in 1 Peter 3:7…

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…

STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #2: I focused on what I intended instead of on what I actually did.

Here’s the scenario:

Mindi and I would be in a loud discussion (argument) and she would take something the wrong way and wind up hurt. Instead of expressing sorrow that she was hurt, I’d try to convince her that she shouldn’t be hurt, because I didn’t MEAN to hurt her.

Say it with me again… “STUPID HUSBAND!”

What’s wrong with what I did?

Think of it this way… if you accidentally backed your car over someone’s foot, you would NEVER insist that they shouldn’t be hurt because you didn’t MEAN to back over their foot. No, you’d jump out of the car and apologize profusely.

Husbands, when your wife is hurt by something you’ve said or done, tell her you are sorry that she is hurt. You can also tell her that you didn’t intend to hurt her, but make sure it fits with your regret that she was hurt.

You hurt her… unintentionally, but still, you hurt her. Sincerely say you are sorry for hurting her.

Again, Peter helps us out… in 1 Peter 3:8:

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.