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Archive for 1 Peter 3:7

101-Spiritual Leader in the home

What Does It Mean to Be a Spiritual Leader? : A Challenge for Husbands [Ep 101]

Posted by Carey 
· Thursday, December 7th, 2017 

A spiritual leader is not the person who has all the right, holy-sounding answers.

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A spiritual leader is a person who humbly goes first in serving others.

That’s one of the many lessons I’ve learned about what it means to be a spiritual leader in my family over the past almost-30 years.

This episode of the Christian Home and Family podcast is aimed at gaining a greater understanding of two of the key biblical passages that speak to the issue of spiritual leadership in the home. In each of the passages, husbands are singled out as the ones responsible to take spiritual leadership in their home.

The first passage, Ephesians 5, points out very clearly that spiritual leadership is an act of service, self-sacrificing service. No man who understands spiritual leadership is going to be domineering or demanding toward the people in his home. Instead, he will be gracious, patient, and loving because those are the demeanors of a servant leader.

This recording contains my off-the-cuff thoughts about how men should approach the issue of spiritual leadership end to grow in their ability to be The Godly spiritual leader in their homes.

Here’s a rough outline of Lessons for Spiritual Leaders

  • [0:58] The home as the foundational element of society – and why we need to take a more diligent approach to that issue.
  • [4:37] Looking at Ephesians 5 – A husband’s sacrificial role as a spiritual leader
  • [11:20] Questions for husbands to consider about their spiritual leadership
  • [14:58] 1 Peter 3:7 – Learning to be understanding of our wives
  • [26:17] What does it mean that a woman is said to be a “weaker vessel?”
  • [34:05] What does it mean to be a spiritual leader? Humility and Initiative

Many times one of the first things we think about when it comes to Jesus is His self-sacrificing nature

But how often do we consider that his leadership was being expressed in that sacrifice? As He said Himself, he did not come to be served but to serve and to give his life as a ransom for many.

That is the kind of leadership the Apostle Paul describes when he speaks of men being the spiritual leader in their homes. It’s not an easy kind of life to live. It’s not a “me on top” existence. it is a life like Jesus lived, serving those who were under His care.

In this podcast episode, I take you through Ephesians 5 with a view toward understanding why that kind of self-sacrifice is required for husbands in order to leave their wives and their families into a place of Health, spiritual strength, and eventual maturity.

Spiritual leaders also work hard to understand those they lead

Those who are the best leaders are typically also the ones who have done the best job of understanding the people that they lead. In 1st Peter chapter 3 husbands are taught to live with their wives in an understanding way.

What does that mean, exactly?

It may sound overly simplistic but one of the primary meanings is that husbands need to understand that their wives are women, not men. Don’t let the simple nature of that statement for you. There’s so much that goes into a good understanding of your wife as a woman. It could take a lifetime to learn.

But I’m convinced that men who are willing to become students of their wives can be empowered by the Spirit of God to love their wives in a way that transforms their own home.

In this episode of the podcast, I share my understanding of 1st Peter 3:7 and how husbands can Learn to live with their wives in an understanding way, and in so doing, enrich the generational Legacy of their families.

Resources & People Mentioned

  • www.DesiringGod.org – The ministry of John Piper

Connect With Carey and Christian Home and Family

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Categories : Podcast
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, Ephesians 5, spiritual leader, spiritual leadership in the home

Do you live with your wife in an understanding way? – an event opportunity for married men

Posted by Carey 
· Saturday, January 4th, 2014 

One of the passages that the LORD has graciously used to kindly “beat me up” since the early days of my marriage is 1 Peter 3:7

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Over the years I’ve learned (many times the “hard way”) what it means to live with Mindi in an “understanding way” as Peter instructs.

It’s more than:

  • being nice
  • providing income
  • being at home (instead of at the bar, the gym, the office, etc.)
  • not yelling
  • helping out with the dishes now and then
  • not leaving your underwear on the floor…

It’s about HER.

Guys… we have got to learn to UNDERSTAND our spouses. Peter says that when we live with them in that way… things are being done God’s way.

An event for married men

For the longest time, I’ve had a heart to share what I’ve learned in this area with those who need it most.

Married men.

Married Christian men who want more for their marriages but may not know exactly how to accomplish it.

I know you guys… you truly WANT to care for your wife well, but you’re like me sometimes:

  • proud
  • defensive
  • uncertain what to do
  • confused by the differences between how you think and feel and how she thinks and feels

Did I get it right?

I’ve finally sensed the LORD telling me it’s time… to put on an event for men that will help us, together, to explore some of those issues and come out on the other side better equipped to love our wives as we really want to.

It’s called:

LOGOBANNER

It’s intentionally going to be for a small group of men -8 to 10, max. If there is a greater demand than that… I’ll schedule more of these events.

It’s a small-group format because I think it’s important that we have time to discuss and that everyone has the opportunity to express the details of their own situation and their own frustrations.

That’s how we can know how to best help each other as brothers in Christ.

uwwAnd that’s how we’ll be able to discern the best way to apply the truths of scripture to the situations we face.

It’s going to be a great time… and I’d love to see you there.

As I said – space is limited, so if you are at all interested, don’t wait. (But I will start a waiting list if needed).

Thanks guys… I pray God’s blessing on you, your wife, and your marriage.

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Categories : Marriage
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, husbands love your wives, men's weekend, understanding way

Podcast 51 – Men: Become a student of your wife – live with her in an understanding way

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, August 28th, 2013 

Today’s Presenter

Carey Green

REVIEW ON I-TUNES

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S PODCAST

Men: Become a student of your wife

Husbands have a hard time understanding their wives… it’s so common that there are jokes all across our culture about the fact. But rather than give in to the belief that it is “impossible” Christian men are called to something more, something higher for the sake of being like Christ and giving sacrificially of themselves. Christian men are under a great responsibility as husbands to love their wives rightly. It is a stewardship given to them by God to protect, care for, and nurture their wives. In this episode of the podcast I’m talking to the men… straight from the scriptures from 1 Peter 3:7. Men, it’s time to begin learning how to live with your wives in an understanding way… and you do that by becoming a student of your wife.

A quote to share

[pullquote]Being the stronger vessel doesn’t make a husband superior – it makes him responsible.[/pullquote]

Use the quote to the left to share on your Facebook and Twitter accounts. That’s one way you can help spread the word about The Christian Home and Family Podcast and help me spread the Word and ways of God to more and more families.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

  • The video from Mark Driscoll I mentioned (also embedded below)
  • My post, “Is your wife safe with you?“

 

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NEXT EPISODE: August 28, 2013 – Podcast 51 – Husbands: become a student of your wife

Meat & Potatoes by Adam ReyThe main music track used in the Christian Home and Family Podcast is entitled, “Midian” and is from Adam Rey’s instrumental album Meat & Potatoes – Adam has generously given me permission to use his music, so please, support his generosity by checking out and purchasing his music at www.heyreyguitar.com – (no affiliate relationship, Adam’s just my friend.) ** these are affiliate links

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Categories : Marriage, Podcast
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, Christian husband, Christian marriage, husband, live with your wife in an understanding way
stupid husband

Confessions of a stupid husband

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, January 4th, 2013 

I’ve done some very, very stupid things as a husband.

It’s embarrassing.

I didn’t have a clue.

Especially in the earlier years of our marriage.

In this post I’m going to share a couple of my stupid husband stories in hopes that some of you who are being stupid husbands at this very moment can recognize yourself in my mistakes…

and with the LORD’s help, make some changes.

STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #1: I expected her (a woman) to be like me (a man).

I knew my wife was different than me.

stupid husband

 

But I didn’t expect her to actually be different than me.

How did this stupid husband stunt look when it played out?

One time, (O.K., more than once) I expected her to “just get over it” when she was emotionally upset.

Say it with me, “STUPID HUSBAND!”

Guys, in case you haven’t noticed, your wife

  • thinks differently than you
  • feels differently than you
  • values different things than you
  • enjoys different things than you
  • dislikes different things than you
  • is hurt by things you are not
  • and on, and on, and on

God made her that way. He made her that way for your good.

If she’s upset, try to understand WHY she’s upset. Try to understand how the circumstances have affected her.

CARE for her instead of trying to “fix it” or get out of the discomfort you feel because she is upset.

Peter comes to our aid here, in 1 Peter 3:7…

 Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…

STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #2: I focused on what I intended instead of on what I actually did.

Here’s the scenario:

Mindi and I would be in a loud discussion (argument) and she would take something the wrong way and wind up hurt. Instead of expressing sorrow that she was hurt, I’d try to convince her that she shouldn’t be hurt, because I didn’t MEAN to hurt her.

Say it with me again… “STUPID HUSBAND!”

What’s wrong with what I did?

Think of it this way… if you accidentally backed your car over someone’s foot, you would NEVER insist that they shouldn’t be hurt because you didn’t MEAN to back over their foot. No, you’d jump out of the car and apologize profusely.

Husbands, when your wife is hurt by something you’ve said or done, tell her you are sorry that she is hurt. You can also tell her that you didn’t intend to hurt her, but make sure it fits with your regret that she was hurt.

You hurt her… unintentionally, but still, you hurt her. Sincerely say you are sorry for hurting her.

Again, Peter helps us out… in 1 Peter 3:8:

Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind.

OK guys… come on, share YOUR stupid husband stunts… it’s good for the soul, and might help your brother!

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Categories : Marriage
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, 1 Peter 3:8, fights in marriage, live with your wife in an understanding way, marriage arguments, stupid husband
communication in marriage

Is your wife SAFE with you?

Posted by Carey 
· Tuesday, July 31st, 2012 

is your wife safe with youIt may sound like a silly question, but I’m not joking… because God doesn’t joke about the way Christian husbands are to love their wives. You and I are to love our wives in a way that reflects the love that Jesus has for His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25).

In our first years of marriage the LORD used that truth to hammer me… hard. I can recall innumerable times when He confronted me with my own insensitivity to the person I loved the most (my wife).  I remember His Spirit taking me back to Ephesians 5:25, asking me, “Where is the love in how you are treating her?” I discovered that if I am not intentionally aiming at Christ-like love toward her, I will naturally cause her to feel “unsafe” with me.

So… I ask you, “Is your wife SAFE with you?”  Here’s a “checklist” to help you evaluate…

  • Does she feel safe to express her disagreement with you? (Or do you act threatened, defensive, or become intimidating when she does?)
  • Is she confident that her emotional struggles will never wear you out? (Or have you caused her to feel that her emotions are too much for you?)
  • While we’re on the subject, does she feel cared for in her emotions? (Or does she feel like you just tolerate her emotions?)
  • When she “nags” you (intentionally or unintentionally) is she assured of your love anyway? (Or does she feel that if she says it one more time, it’s gonna’ get ugly?)
  • During “that time of the month” does she know you’ll be extra understanding and tender? (Or does she fear that you’ll once again be irritated and unfeeling toward her struggle?)
  • Does she feel that you really hear her when she shares her heart? (Or are you going through the motions and not really understanding her?)
  • Does she trust you with her heart to the point she opens it up to you? (Or is she guarded because of your careless responses in the past?)
  • Is she physically safe with you? (Or do you use your size, loudness, and physical presence to back her into a place of fearful submission?)

We men can be pretty insensitive. Abrasive. Cold. Calloused. Not always intentionally, but simply because we are men.  Sadly, our wives are the ones we can be the most insensitive toward, when we are supposed to be living with them in a much different way (1 Peter 3:7).

As Christians, we are entirely SAFE with Jesus.

  • His motives are unquestionable. Whatever He does toward us, we can be fully assured that He is doing it out of love (Romans 8:35-39).
  • His track record is spotless. He’s not only told us that He loves us, He’s proved it in the most extreme way imaginable (Romans 5:8)
  • His word truly is His bond. Whatever He has promised (2 Peter 3:13; 1 John 2:25), we can be assured He will do.
  • THEREFORE we are entirely SAFE with Him. We can trust Him with the entirety of who we are.

THAT is how we Christian husbands

are to love our wives.

So once again…

Christian husband, is your wife SAFE with you?

is your wife safe with you

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Categories : Marriage
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, abusive Christian husband, abusive men, Christian family, Christian home, Christian marriage, Ephesians 5:25, husbands love your wives, is your wife safe, marriage, tips for husbands
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