I’ve done some very, very stupid things as a husband.
I didn’t have a clue.
Especially in the earlier years of our marriage.
In this post I’m going to share a couple of my stupid husband stories in hopes that some of you who are being stupid husbands at this very moment can recognize yourself in my mistakes…
and with the LORD’s help, make some changes.
STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #1: I expected her (a woman) to be like me (a man).
I knew my wife was different than me.
But I didn’t expect her to actually be different than me.
How did this stupid husband stunt look when it played out?
Say it with me, “STUPID HUSBAND!”
Guys, in case you haven’t noticed, your wife
- thinks differently than you
- feels differently than you
- values different things than you
- enjoys different things than you
- dislikes different things than you
- is hurt by things you are not
- and on, and on, and on
God made her that way. He made her that way for your good.
If she’s upset, try to understand WHY she’s upset. Try to understand how the circumstances have affected her.
CARE for her instead of trying to “fix it” or get out of the discomfort you feel because she is upset.
Peter comes to our aid here, in 1 Peter 3:7…
STUPID HUSBAND STUNT #2: I focused on what I intended instead of on what I actually did.
Here’s the scenario:
Say it with me again… “STUPID HUSBAND!”
What’s wrong with what I did?
Think of it this way… if you accidentally backed your car over someone’s foot, you would NEVER insist that they shouldn’t be hurt because you didn’t MEAN to back over their foot. No, you’d jump out of the car and apologize profusely.
Husbands, when your wife is hurt by something you’ve said or done, tell her you are sorry that she is hurt. You can also tell her that you didn’t intend to hurt her, but make sure it fits with your regret that she was hurt.
You hurt her… unintentionally, but still, you hurt her. Sincerely say you are sorry for hurting her.
Again, Peter helps us out… in 1 Peter 3:8: