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76cover - delight in her

Podcast 76 – Delight in her

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, June 11th, 2014 

 Here’s the one thing husbands can do to turn their marriages around…

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uwwThis episode is brought to you by my men’s event… The Understanding Way Weekend for Christan Husbands. You can find out more at www.ChristianHomeandFamily.com/uww

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There is a lot of joking that happens surrounding the differences between men and women, mainly because the differences are very real. We men see things differently, experience things differently, and think about things differently than our wives do – and as a result, all kinds of things can happen.

Confusion. Conflicts. Disagreements. Even divorce.

But guys, I’m here to tell you that those don’t have to be the outcome for your marriage. There is a whole lot you can do to make a tremendous difference in your marriage.

damsel in distressDo you remember the “damsel in distress” kind of stories?

The ones where the princess is in mortal danger and the knight in shining armor rides in to save the day? Those types of stories resonate with people for a reason: They demonstrate how God has wired us as men and women.

Every woman I’ve ever met, regardless of her background, WANTS her man to treasure her like one of those damsels in distress… not because she’s egotistical, but because she NEEDS that kind of devotion from the man in her life. It’s how God has wired her.

The Apostle Paul said it this way…

However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. (Ephesians 5:33).

You may respond, “There’s nothing in there that says my wife NEEDS me to treasure her!” – and I’ll admit, Paul never uses those words. But stop for a second and think it through…

WHY would God give husbands the command to love their lives as much as they love themselves? The answer? Because their wives NEED that kind of love.

In fact, a few verses earlier, we’re told,

In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ
does the church. (Ephesians 5:28-29).

Notice the words Paul uses there… nourishes, cherishes… those are words of deep concern and great care. Those are the ways a husband is supposed to love his wife… because she NEEDS that kind of love.

So… back to you and your wife: Your wife WANTS you to be her hero. She wants to matter so much to you, that you would put yourself at risk to save her, if needed. She WANTS to have confidence that you love her, and always will, no matter what.

That is what gives your wife security in your relationship. It’s what fuels her emotional/relational fires. It’s what enables her to fully trust you.

I can’t tell you the number of guys I’ve counseled who don’t get this and wonder why their marriage is in such a mess. Doesn’t it just make sense that if your wife doesn’t feel loved and cherished, she’s not going to trust you in other areas? Doesn’t it make sense that if she’s not confident of your care for her, she’s going to have a hard time following your leadership?

Guys… you can turn your marriage around. You can build a marriage like you never dreamed, by learning how to do this one, simple thing:

delight in your wife.

Here’s two practical suggestions:

Learn to view her as a treasure:

Consider this reality: Your wife is the life partner your God has given to you, and He gives the very BEST gifts. Now, depending on what you’ve gone through with your wife, it may take you a bit of time to get your head around that one. There could be a lot of hurt between you, a lot of wrong she’s done toward you that makes it hard to view her as a treasure. But guys, a lot of what she’s become may be at least partly your doing, by not treasuring her as you should have. God gave her to you to be a help to you, an asset, a benefit to your life. She is a personal gift from the all-powerful God. That means she is a treasure.

Learn to treat her like a treasure – every day.

Think for a second about your car, or your hunting rifle, or your favorite sports team. When something is extremely valuable to you, you take care of it. You check up on it. You follow through to make sure it’s in good repair. You seek to know the most up to date information about it.

What if that “thing” is not a thing at all, but a person – like your wife? You do the same kinds of things. You find out how she’s really doing, every day. You show interest in her and what’s important to her. You make sure she has everything she needs in order to be healthy and happy. You make her concerns your own. You listen, you care, you nurture, you cherish.

Guys, the truth is, your wife is more important than your work, your hobbies, your car, your friends… and she should be cared for accordingly. It may not be natural for you to do those things, and they may even feel a bit awkward at first, but those are the kinds of “lay down your life” sacrifices you are called to make.

In that same passage, Paul says,

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)

Jesus is your example, so as a man of God, as a follower of Jesus, it’s time for you to man-up. Make it your greatest ambition in life to glorify God by learning how to delight in your wife.

As a result, you’ll see all kinds of benefits in your relationship, your family, your parenting, and in your life as a whole.

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Categories : Marriage, Podcast
Tags : Christian husband, christian marriage help, delight in her, delight in your wife, love your wife as christ loved the church

Podcast 51 – Men: Become a student of your wife – live with her in an understanding way

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, August 28th, 2013 

Today’s Presenter

Carey Green

REVIEW ON I-TUNES

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S PODCAST

Men: Become a student of your wife

Husbands have a hard time understanding their wives… it’s so common that there are jokes all across our culture about the fact. But rather than give in to the belief that it is “impossible” Christian men are called to something more, something higher for the sake of being like Christ and giving sacrificially of themselves. Christian men are under a great responsibility as husbands to love their wives rightly. It is a stewardship given to them by God to protect, care for, and nurture their wives. In this episode of the podcast I’m talking to the men… straight from the scriptures from 1 Peter 3:7. Men, it’s time to begin learning how to live with your wives in an understanding way… and you do that by becoming a student of your wife.

A quote to share

[pullquote]Being the stronger vessel doesn’t make a husband superior – it makes him responsible.[/pullquote]

Use the quote to the left to share on your Facebook and Twitter accounts. That’s one way you can help spread the word about The Christian Home and Family Podcast and help me spread the Word and ways of God to more and more families.

Links mentioned in this podcast:

  • The video from Mark Driscoll I mentioned (also embedded below)
  • My post, “Is your wife safe with you?“

 

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY PODCAST

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/ LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

NEXT EPISODE: August 28, 2013 – Podcast 51 – Husbands: become a student of your wife

Meat & Potatoes by Adam ReyThe main music track used in the Christian Home and Family Podcast is entitled, “Midian” and is from Adam Rey’s instrumental album Meat & Potatoes – Adam has generously given me permission to use his music, so please, support his generosity by checking out and purchasing his music at www.heyreyguitar.com – (no affiliate relationship, Adam’s just my friend.) ** these are affiliate links

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Categories : Marriage, Podcast
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, Christian husband, Christian marriage, husband, live with your wife in an understanding way
God's design for Christian Marriage

Podcast 43: God’s description of a Christian Husband

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, July 3rd, 2013 

Today’s Guest:

Carey Green
founder, Christian Home and Family

REVIEW ON I-TUNES

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S PODCAST
God’s description of a Christian husband


The world is filled with ideas of what a man should be. When it comes to being a husband we can find even more expectations and examples of what makes a “good man” for a woman to find. But doesn’t it make sense to find out what God says a Christian husband should be? This episode is a continuation of a previous episode where I dive deeply into what the scriptures say about what a Godly, Christian husband should be. Men… don’t shy away from what God says. His empowerings are His enablings. Young women, don’t settle for anything less… the LORD will bless you as you wait on Him.

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Links & Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • The Marriage Improvement Project

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY PODCAST

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

 

NEXT EPISODE: July 10, 2013 – Podcast 44- Christian books, Christian Classics, and the Christian family with Luke Wilson

Meat & Potatoes by Adam ReyThe main music track used in the Christian Home and Family Podcast is entitled, “Midian” and is from Adam Rey’s instrumental album Meat & Potatoes – Adam has generously given me permission to use his music, so please, support his generosity by checking out and purchasing his music at www.heyreyguitar.com – (no affiliate relationship, Adam’s just my friend.)

** these are affiliate links

 

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Categories : Marriage, Podcast
Tags : biblical husband, biblical manhood, Christian husband, Christian man, Christian marriage, how to be a better husband, how to encourage your husband, marriage, what the bible says about husbands
wife doesn't like

If your wife doesn’t like it, don’t do it!

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, February 11th, 2013 

Let me begin by saying what I’m NOT saying. I’m not saying…

  • That your wife’s desires should dictate every aspect of your life together…
  • That her feelings about things always trump yours…
  • That you have to give in to every thing she says, just because she says it.

When I say, “If your wife doesn’t like it, don’t do it, ” I am saying is this…

Don’t purposefully do things that you KNOW your wife doesn’t like.

Can I give you some examples?

  • You know your wife doesn’t like your socks left in the floor.
  • You know that she hates it when you leave your whiskers in the sink.
  • You know she appreciates the kitchen to be kept “just so.”
  • You know her preference for the default position of the toilet seat.
  • SO DON’T DO THINGS YOU KNOW SHE DOESN’T LIKE.

If your wife doesn’t like it… and you keep on doing it, then you are being unloving to your wife.

Think that through for a moment…

If you were at work, or church and someone purposefully did something they knew you didn’t like, what would you think?

wife doesn't like

  • That person doesn’t like me…
  • They are intentionally trying to hurt me.
  • They are being rude, or inconsiderate.
  • They are disregarding me altogether.

Don’t you think your wife could feel the same way when you continue to do things that you KNOW she doesn’t like?

The Bible instructs husbands to love their wives in such a way that their wives see the love of Christ.

 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… – Ephesians chapter 5, verse 25.

Christian husband, you are to give YOURSELF up for your wife.

But when you make your wife put up with your inconsiderate habits, you’re making HER give up HERSELF for you.

Something is wrong with that picture.

Comment below and tell me some practical ways you can turn this dynamic around in your own marriage.

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Categories : Marriage
Tags : Christian husband, Ephesians 5:25, pet peeves, wife doesn't like
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