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Archive for communication

positive affirmations with sam crabtree

Podcast 39: Positive affirmations in the home – with Pastor Sam Crabtree

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, June 5th, 2013 

Positive affirmations in the Home

Today’s Guest:

positive affirmations with sam crabtree

Pastor Sam Crabtree

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S PODCAST
Positive Affirmations in the Home


Positive affirmations are more than simply saying “good job” or “you look nice today.” A truly positive affirmation goes much deeper, drawing out the reality of what God is doing in a person. It’s an act of true delight in the person, and God’s work in them.  When it comes to family relationships, there’s no better way to build a  God-sized vision into your kids or your spouse than learning how to practice godly affirmation in the lives of your family members. in today’s podcast, Pastor Sam Crabtree talks with me about the practice of affirmation, and what we need to do to ensure that we are giving maximum glory to God while building up those we are affirming. He’s a great example as you’ll hear on today’s podcast. At the bottom of this page is the video I saw that first made me aware of Pastor Sam.

Links & Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • Pastor Sam’s excellent book “Practicing Affirmation“**
  • Learn how to review and rate the Christian Home and Family podcast on Itunes
  • Below is the video I first saw that introduced me to Pastor Sam.

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY PODCAST

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

 

NEXT EPISODE: June 12, 2013 – Podcast 40- Servant leadership in manhood

Meat & Potatoes by Adam ReyThe main music track used in the Christian Home and Family Podcast is entitled, “Midian” and is from Adam Rey’s instrumental album Meat & Potatoes – Adam has generously given me permission to use his music, so please, support his generosity by checking out and purchasing his music at www.heyreyguitar.com – (no affiliate relationship, Adam’s just my friend.)

** these are affiliate links

 

 

What are your thoughts about Sam’s view of positive affirmations? Leave your comments below!

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Categories : Marriage, Parenting, Podcast
Tags : biblical encouragement, communication, positive affirmations, practicing affirmation, Sam Crabtree
relational ostrich

Are you a relational ostrich?

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, April 19th, 2013 

Are you a relational ostrich?

Communication is huge – in the family and in life.

But it won’t happen if you don’t have the courage to do what you KNOW needs to be done.

Don’t be a relational ostrich, sticking your head in the sand, hoping that the difficulties or awkward situations will go away.

Your family will only be damaged by your silence, because silence is a negative communicator.

If you don’t talk about the important things… your family members – who also know they are important – may conclude you simply don’t care.

They may decide that you don’t care about them.

You MUST communicate – no matter how difficult the issues may be.

  • Take the time to ask questions – listen – and respond with mercy and understanding.
  • Take the time to speak truth to your spouse or children as needed.
  • Don’t let fear rule your life. Don’t let awkwardness rule the day.

Pull your head out of the sand and lovingly address the issues that face you as a family.

You’ll find that God is right there with you, ready to help you with the wisdom and power of His word.

Ephesians 4:25 – Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.

What are the hardest things for you to talk about with your family members? What have you found that helps? Share your thoughts below…

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Categories : Marriage, Parenting
Tags : Christian marriage, Christian parenting, communication, realational, relationships
defensiveness

My defensiveness is destroying my family

Posted by Carey 
· Friday, April 5th, 2013 

Defensiveness sparked a 2 hour conflict with my wife last night…

It was a sadly typical scene.

Like many times before, she picked up on a critical, negative attitude I had toward one of the children, and she was boldly kind enough to talk to me about it.

I immediately began defending myself.

  • I built a case to justify my behavior.
  • I tried to convince her that she was seeing the situation all wrong.
  • I accused her of being over-sensitive when it came to the kids (which is a terrible thing to say to a mother).
  • I tried to turn it into an issue of “perceptions” instead of addressing the actual concerns she had.
  • I tried to point out inconsistencies I saw in her reasoning (diversionary tactics).

And two hours later we sat on opposite ends of the bed looking at each other…

defensiveness

distant,

disunified,

discouraged,

and stuck.

And it was all because of my defensiveness.

Defensiveness is as old as time and a very natural human reaction

Defensiveness was the first reaction Adam had when God asked him about what had gone wrong in the garden (Genesis 3:12).

It was Cain’s first response when asked about his “missing brother” (Genesis 4:9).

The Proverbs warn about defensiveness (Proverbs 28:26).

It’s almost as old as time, and seems to be one of Satan’s favorite tools.

And it’s been my most common reaction to criticism I’ve received from my wife, for almost 24 years of marriage.

And I hate it.

Defensiveness has been a pain in the side of my marriage for a very long time.

I don’t think my wife has a defensive bone in her body.

The problem with defensiveness in our marriage is and always has been with me.

Any time she talks to me about:

  • How I relate to people,
  • How I’m meeting/not meeting her needs,
  • How I’m relating to the children,
  • How my tone of voice and body language impacts people,
  • Something I wrote on this blog,
  • Something I recorded on the podcast,

I almost immediately get defensive.

And it’s a very shameful, destructive, unbecoming thing that will destroy my family… unless I do something about it.

What defensiveness does…

  • It stops healthy communication almost immediately,
  • It causes my wife and kids to become fearful of how I’m going to respond,
  • It camoflages my insecurities behind inappropriate self-defined labels,
  • It throws the unity my marriage relationship into a tailspin, which is not always easy to recover from,
  • It blocks me from much-needed changes I need to make, in attitude and behavior,
  • It puts a distance between me and my kids… which is the opposite of what I really want,
  • It frustrates my wife to no end.

Does  any of that sound familiar?

Overcoming defensiveness

I’m on the very front-end of this journey into killing defensiveness.

But the marriage-long struggle has forced me to take a long, introspective look into my own soul so that the destructive cycle of defensiveness doesn’t continue to knock us for a loop.

 I have discovered a few things that are beginning to make a difference.

#1: Admit that my initial response is often defensive – Like any other wrong that needs to be righted, if I can’t admit it exists, I’m unable to do anything about it.

#2: Admit that my defensiveness is destructive, and sinful – This is calling it what it is… seeing it from God’s perspective. When I can admit what HE thinks about it, then I’m in a place where true grief over my sin can begin to do it’s very good work (2 Corinthians 7:10).

#3: Get humble – Defensiveness is ultimately born out of pride, so the antidote is not to try harder or make resolutions (not yet, anyway). The cure is in humility, Christ-like humility (Philippians 2:3-5). It’s only then that I have any hope of receiving God’s help (James 4:6).

#4: Plead for God’s help – I can’t change my defensiveness all on my own. I know, I’ve tried. If change for the better is going to happen, I am going to have to have His help to accomplish it.

#5: Make a plan in keeping with my repentance & put it to work – Jesus told the Pharisees to prove their genuineness by doing actions that were consistent with their words (Matthew 3:8). It’s not enough for me to say “sorry” and move on. Something has to change, or else I’m not truly repentant.

And this is the danger-spot…

I could move ahead full steam, full of great intentions, devoid of any power but my own… which won’t get me very far.

I will have to abide in Him (John 15:5) and rely on His strength to help me overcome the destructive response-habits of defensiveness that I’ve built… because they are:

  • very deeply rooted,
  • almost invisible to me,
  • things that come naturally (no matter how wrong),
  • comfortable, and therefore seem “right,”

and are therefore impossible for me to find, attack, and destroy on my own.

I know, because I’ve tried to do that for the past 24 years… and the defensiveness is still here, bringing devastation every time it arises.

I’m trusting the LORD to help me kill defensiveness in my own soul.

Will you join me? Let me know how this post speaks to you and what plans you’re making to kill it – use the comments below…

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Categories : Marriage, Parenting
Tags : Christian marriage, communication, defensive, defensiveness, marriage, overcoming defensiveness
communication in marriage

Podcast 24: Communication in marriage

Posted by Carey 
· Wednesday, February 20th, 2013 

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY PODCAST

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

Today’s Presenters:communication in marriage

Carey & Mindi Green
Christian Home and Family

SUMMARY OF TODAY’S PODCAST
Communication in Marriage


Part 1 of the Christian Home and Family strategy is to help you in getting your own spiritual walk on track. Part 2 is helping you get your marriage relationship solid and healthy. This podcast episode falls squarely in that #2 category.

Communication in marriage is what Mindi and I refer to as “Priority #2” (can you guess why?). Learning to talk to each other in healthy, beneficial ways is what makes the difference between an average or struggling marriage and a truly great one. Communication is where you get to know each other, learn to love each other, and truly become unified in your relationship. That is the kind of marriage the LORD delights to use, and will use for His glory.

Come along as Mindi and I talk about:

  • the important role communication plays in your marriage
  • what happens when communication is sporadic or non-existent
  • how to go about establishing “priority #2” in your marriage
  • the attitudes behind good communication in marriage
  • what good communication looks like (what do you talk about?)
  • how to handle disagreements and arguments
  • how to move ahead in a healthier way if your communication in marriage has been weak
  • how to know if you need to get some outside help

I always enjoy talking with my bride, and this episode was no different. She’s a fount of wisdom on these kinds of issues, and I hope you’ll enjoy what the two of us were able to uncover.

Links & Resources mentioned in this podcast:

  • Covenant Eyes (affiliate link*)
  • My Compass Weekend for Young Men
  • Christian Home and Family Marriage Intensives
  • Communication, Key to Your Marriage – H. Norman Wright (affiliate link*)
  • WIN THE BOOK – Organic Outreach for Families!

organic outreach for families

* These resources are affiliate links – you pay the same price, but part of your purchase goes to support the ministry of Christian Home and Family. Thanks!

A couple of brief reminders:

  • The Compass Weekend for young men has undergone a date-change –  June 20, 21, 22 of 2013, in Buena Vista, Colorado. I’m only allowing 8 young men at a time to be a part of this event, to keep the interaction genuine and relevant. If you are interested or want to pass the information along to someone you know, please check out the Compass page on the website.
  • My new spiritual growth curriculum for individuals or groups – NEW LIFE IS NO JOKE
  • My new couple’s marriage devotional – in 3 formats – THE MARRIAGE IMPROVEMENT PROJECT
  • You are invited to prayerfully consider partnering with Christian Home and Family.

NEXT EPISODE: February 27th, 2013 – Podcast 25 – The 4/14 family movement.

Meat & Potatoes by Adam ReyThe main music track used in the Christian Home and Family Podcast is entitled, “Midian” and is from Adam Rey’s instrumental album Meat & Potatoes – Adam has generously given me permission to use his music, so please, support his generosity by checking out and purchasing his music at www.heyreyguitar.com – (no affiliate relationship, Adam’s just my friend.)

Also, the “resources” music track is from the www.musicrevoluation.com site.

SUBSCRIBE TO THE CHRISTIAN HOME AND FAMILY PODCAST

Christian Home and Family subscribe on Stitcher! Miro Video Player listen on player.fm

Or if you are using a “podcatcher” here is the feed address: https://christianhomeandfamily.com/feed/podcast/

LEAVE FEEDBACK AND A REVIEW ON I-TUNES

Leave your thoughts and comments about communication in your marriage!

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Categories : Marriage, Podcast
Tags : communication, communication in marriage, marriage, marriage help, marriage intensives
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