The Bible not only says that you SHOULD pray for your family, it also gives examples of HOW to pray for them…

But you may not have recognized these examples, because they are not geared specifically toward the family. They are prayers the Apostle Paul prayed for the folks he was writing. They were groups of people who had come together around their faith in Jesus. They were church “families”.

If you take a look at the prayers Paul prayed for those folks, you’ll notice something right away. He prayed with a level of depth that is very uncommon in our day. In fact, Paul prayed for things that we sadly, don’t even THINK to pray for. That means we have a TON to learn from his prayers.

HERE’S AN ACTION STEP: Take a minute to hover your mouse over the scripture references in the bullet list below (f you are reading this in email, you’ll have to click on the post title at the top and go to the website to use that functionality). Pick out some of the things Paul asked the LORD to do in the lives of his readers.

Romans 8:1-10
1 Corinthians 1:4-9
2 Corinthians 1:3-7
Ephesians 1:3-5
Ephesians 3:14-21
Philippians 1:9-11
and many, many more…

Here’s the important question: How do those types of prayers compare to the type you normally pray for your family?

My heart is broken, when I see my own lack in this area

When I do the exercise above, I immediately come to the realization that my prayers on behalf of my family are anemic, when compared to the prayers of Paul. He had a sense of what was truly important, what mattered on an eternal level, and he prayed along those lines for the people under his care.

Who is under MY care? My family, most of all.

Paul’s prayers are the kinds of prayers that I want to learn how to pray for my wife and my kids. They are the kind of things I want to ask God to do for my grandkids and their kids. That’s because they are the kind of prayers that really matter.

I want to learn how to pray, in this powerful, scriptural, God-honoring way, on behalf of the people God has entrusted to me.

Do you?

We can impact our families on an eternal level by how we PRAY for our them

In the rest of this post, I’d like to walk through one of Paul’s prayers that has come to mean a TON to me…

As you read it, join me in imagining. Ask yourself this question:

What would it be like, if MY spouse, MY kids, and MY grandchildren had THESE KINDS OF THINGS becoming true in their lives?

Then I realize, what is the most important point of this blog post:

YOU CAN HAVE IN IMPACT ON WHETHER THOSE THINGS COME ABOUT, OR NOT.

Read that sentence again… it’s true. YOU can have an impact on whether or not the following, eternal things happen in the lives of your loved ones.

You have that impact, through prayer.

Here we go… let’s dissect this “family prayer” passage, phrase at a time…

And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God. May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.Colossians 1:9-12

These are the ways that Paul prayed for those under his care…

Consistently – “we have not ceased to pray for you…”

Paul was incredibly consistent in his prayers. I don’t think this means he was praying for these people 24/7. Nor does it mean that he was only praying for them (he had other churches that were on his mind, as well). But it does mean he made a way to remember to pray for them on a regular basis. How do you do that?

Here are some suggestions for you, that have been helpful for me:

Once you get a regular routine of “Quiet Time” into your daily routine, include a “prayer reminder” list. I have mine with my Bible study notes, tucked into the passage where I’m reading/studying. That way I see it daily and am reminded to pray. My “list” includes ONLY the primary relationships in my life (family, close friends). I have a different way of handling my “other” lists.
Write out a passage like Colossians 1:9-12 to keep WITH your list. Use it as a model prayer, to remind you of the kinds of things you need to pray for.

How can YOU incorporate these ideas into YOUR prayers for YOUR family?

Prayer for God-mindedness – “that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding”

Paul wanted those he was praying for to be able to know God’s will, so he prayed for what it would take in order for that to be true. They needed spiritual wisdom and understanding.

That’s more than just asking God to make them wise. It’s asking the LORD to make them spiritually wise, able to discern things on the spiritual level that undergirds all of life.

When your spouse, and kids, and grandkids begin to grow in spiritual wisdom, all of life will change for them. They’ll begin to see God’s activity and purpose in things going on around them. They’ll be better able to understand their role in His work.

How can YOU begin praying for this God-mindedness in your family?

A life that is productive, and pleasing to God – “so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him, bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God”

Notice, this request is a result of the one before. Spiritual wisdom and insight RESULTS IN a fruitful and God-pleasing life. So… you can pray for the God-pleasing life, but make sure you’re understanding the WAY it comes about… through spiritual wisdom and understanding.

How can YOU be actively praying for the fruitfulness and God-honoring lives of those within your family?

For TRUE strength – “May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might”

Paul understood that we are dust (Psalm 103:14), without the empowering work of God in us. That’s why He prayed that his readers would be strengthened with the power that only GOD can supply.

He prays for these dear people, that they will be strengthened ACCORDING TO God’s glorious might. That’s a proportional statement, telling us what degree of power Paul is praying for in their lives. Think of it this way:

You could try to power the lights in your home with a 9 volt battery. If you did that, you’d be powering your lights “according to” the capacity of a 9 volt battery.

OR, you could power the lights in your home with the power supplied by the electric company. That would be powering your lights “according to” the capacity of the electric company.

Which do you think is a better power source?

Paul wants his readers to know that he’s praying for the power for their lives to be “according to” God’s glorious might.

Did you hear that? GOD’S might is what Paul wanted to be fueling their souls. That’s the kind of power every Christ-follower needs.

It’s the kind of power your family needs.

What kind of prayers do you need to be praying regarding YOUR family’s power for living?

For a life of endurance, joy, and gratitude – “for all endurance and patience with joy, giving thanks to the Father”

This is another statement that is a result of the one before. The kind of power Paul wants them to have, PRODUCES a life that is typified by endurance and joy. It makes sense.

If God is the power source of your family’s lives, they will be able to endure every hardship, trial, or disappointment that comes their way.
If God is the power source of their souls, they will be able to have joy, in the midst of those types of events.

Do you think YOUR family needs those kinds of things? There’s no doubt in my mind, my family does! I can have an impact on whether or not they have those kinds of lives, through my prayers for them.

What adjustments do YOU need to make in how you pray for your family’s endurance and joy?

In light of God’s abundant grace in their lives – “who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light”

Paul prayed for his church “family” with an eye on the great benefits that they had already received in Christ. That means that the kinds of bold, gutsy prayers Paul just prayed for them are to be expected. He is able to pray confidently, because he knows that the things he’s asking for, are the kinds of things God will naturally do for His own.

Does that encourage you? You don’t have to be cautious, or skeptical about whether God wants to do these kinds of things for your family. If they are believers in Christ, these are the kinds of things that our good Father does for His children. We can ask Him to do these things with confidence, expecting to see the results come about in their lives.

How do your prayers for your family need to grow in confidence?

Your prayer for your family makes a difference – a powerful, God-empowered difference!

I’m so encouraged when I read Paul’s prayers, and take the time to understand what he is praying for. It shows me that my family, as believers in Jesus, are about to get their socks blessed off… as I am praying for them according to God’s perfect will!

I’d love to hear your thoughts about how this model of prayer can impact the way you pray for your family. Share in the comments below.

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Here are 3 simple and easy ways of going about “family prayer” that you can try in your family!

1. Pray for the person to your (right/left).

In our “family nights” (we sing together, read and discuss the scriptures, and pray together), we often use this method of prayer. It goes something like this…

“OK, everyone turn to the person on your right and find out what things you can pray about for them. Then we’re going to pray for those specific things”

Naturally, there’s a little bit of giggling as everyone turns to their right and finds that person turned to their right… but everyone finally gets past it and receives and gives a prayer request. Then we pray together for those things.

I don’t typically keep track of which direction I’ve told people to turn the previous family night, nor do I keep track of who’s prayed for who.

Why? Because every time we’re sitting in different places, so we naturally get “mixed around” in who we are praying for.

Sometimes I will intentionally look to see who’s sitting next to who and choose the direction I feel will be most beneficial for those relationships, but other than that, this one works on its own pretty well.

2. Round Robin Prayer

We’ve recently begun doing this one and it seems to work pretty well. We do it at the dinner table, right after we’ve finished eating and it works great.

You start with a prayer list… things that you are facing as a family. They could be financial needs, health issues, employment, salvation of a family member, etc. It doesn’t matter how many you have on the list, but it’s probably better to keep it to 15 or under.

Take the list and a pen and explain what you’re going to do.

“I have a list of things that we as a family need to be praying about. I’m going to pray for the first one on the list and check it off. Then I’m going to pass it to the (right or left) and the next person will pray for the next item. When they are finished, they will check it off and pass the list to the next person. We’ll just keep passing the list around until everything is prayed for. The last person can say the ‘Amen.'”

This way everyone is praying, everyone is involved, and nobody gets to “opt out.” And it focuses the entire family on the needs that the entire family is facing. I think it serves to build unity because we are praying together.

3. Sharing Joys and Sorrows

Another option is that we’ll give these very simple instructions,

“I’d like everyone to share something they are currently happy about, and then share something they are having a hard time with right now. As each person finishes sharing, I’ll ask for someone to take that request and then we’ll pray for all of them at the end.”

It’s a pretty simple way of going about family prayer. But it’s a great way. Everyone gets to hear what’s on the heart of the others.

It builds community and unity. It builds compassion and care within the home.

Getting started

If you have not had any sort of prayer time together as a family in the past, it’s time for that to change. You need to lead your children to prayer for each other and for the family as a whole. Here is one way I’d suggest you make the change…

Call a family meeting.
Repent to the family for not leading the way in prayer.
Ask them to forgive you for neglecting that duty.
Tell them the ideas you have for family prayer.
Tell them you’d like to start praying together regularly to ask for God’s blessing and help as a family.
Plan a time together when you will start (every Monday evening? Every Saturday before bed?)
START

What prayer ideas do YOU have for the family? Share your ideas below…