Do unto others… the Golden rule for Couples

So whatever you wish that others would do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets. – Matthew 7:12 (ESV)

You’ve probably heard the Golden Rule quoted since you were a little kid. You may not have even known it came from the Bible. And you have to admit, it sounds like a pretty good way to be.

But have you considered that when it says “do unto others” – it’s talking about your spouse too?

It’s WAY too common for us to treat those in our own household WORSE than we do those outside it.

Spouses in particular take the brunt of a lot of our own selfishness and sin.

What would it look like if you, with the help of the Spirit of God, began to take the Golden Rule seriously in how you relate to your spouse? What kind of difference do you think it would make?

Consider how you could “do unto your spouse” in just one area: communication

Try these “do unto others” ideas in your marriage…

#1 – How about the questions you ask?

How would you like it if your spouse asked genuine, thoughtful, deeply interesting questions about the things that YOU find interesting or fun?

Your hobbies. Your work. Your friends.

Wouldn’t that make you feel LOVED?

So why not turn it around and apply the “do unto others” of the Golden Rule by learning to ask genuine, thoughtful questions about your spouse’s hobbies, work, and friends.

You might find out they are the same interesting person you married. And you might find them responding in kind.

#2 – What about the way you make them feel?

If your spouse came to you and began asking if he/she makes you feel loved… how would that make you feel? What if he/she asked if they did anything that frustrated or irritated you?

Wouldn’t that show they were trying to be considerate?

What would happen if YOU turned that around… what if you “do unto others” toward your spouse and begin asking those kinds of questions?

Do I make you feel loved?

Are there any things I say or do that regularly hurt you?

Is there anything I do that makes you feel insecure?

You’d be telling your spouse they are important to you – LOUD AND CLEAR.

#3 – How about in the realm of intimacy?

[dropshadowbox align=”right” effect=”lifted-both” width=”250px” height=”” background_color=”#f9f580″ border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]The Golden Rule applies to your spouse too! – TWEET THIS[/dropshadowbox]

If your spouse began asking you questions about whether you are satisfied with your physical relationship, what would that say to you?

Would it tell you that he/she is wanting to do better, for your sake?

Once again, TURN THAT AROUND and think of ways that YOU can show your spouse love by practicing the Golden Rule…

Does the way I approach you physically make you feel cared for, or used?

Do I do things in our physical relationship that bother you, or that you don’t like?

In the physical realm, are there ways I could better express my love for you?

TRY IT. You mind find you learn something important… and your spouse might feel loved in ways they haven’t for a very long time.