The power of good questions is amazing…
Part of the way God receives glory is through the mystery of Him being God. He creates things and says things and does things that are truly “unbelievable”… except for the fact that they were made, said, or done by God, who cannot lie (Titus 1:2).
He conceals things, which brings Him glory… by amplifying the mystery of Himself.
But people (the “kings” in our verse above) often gain glory, honor, prestige, etc. by searching things out. We are curious, we are discoverers, we are investigators. We want to understand things so we search them out.
If we are going to thrive as spouses and as parents, we need to learn how to better search things out.
We need to learn to ask good questions.
The power of good questions:
- A good question reveals… the thoughts of others, their feelings, their struggles, their true beliefs. Those are things you may find out in other ways, but not with the certainty and clarity you will if you learn to ask good questions.
- A good question directs… you have reliable information when someone gives an honest answer to your good questions, and with that information you are able to form right conclusions, make good decisions, and take action.
- A good question comforts… when you ask that “just right,” penetrating question, the person you ask is comforted. You communicate that you want to understand them, want to know them, want to be of help or comfort to them – and that in itself is comforting.
Asking good questions fuels the most important relationships
Think back to when you first met your “significant other.” How many questions were asked? If your experience was anything like mine, you and your spouse asked each other TONS of questions. It’s how you got to know each other. Questions were instrumental in growing in your love for each other. Questions paved the way for a strong relationship.
But for some reason, when we get comfortable in a relationship, the questions stop (or at least fade in frequency). We take each other for granted, think we understand each other, and believe that we already “know” each other. It happens in marriage relationships and it happens between parents and children.
But that’s not true. We still need to ask good questions.
Most of us need to re-learn how to ask good questions.
Think about the impact that good questions could have on your marriage, or on your relationships with your kids. What would happen if you were actively, consistently, with deep purpose and interest…
- receiving revelation of what’s going on in the mind and heart of your loved ones (spouse or children).
- being directed more deeply into an understanding of their thoughts and feelings so that you can act wisely and sensitively to them.
- comforting them regularly by showing that you truly care and want to understand them.
What would happen in your most important relationships if YOU learned to ask good questions?
You can sign up for my “Conversation Starters for Couples” to get a jump-start on improving the communication in your marriage. You’ll receive a weekly email with 5 simple questions to help you learn this skill of asking good questions. And it’s entirely free.by