The purpose in a man’s heart is like deep water, but a man of understanding will draw it out. – Proverbs 20:13

Healthy relationships = erasing the relational slate regularly. What does that mean?

I can explain it best by telling you how it happens in my house – and my wife is the pro at it. She introduced me to the idea, and is the one who helps me remember to do it to this day.

HERE’S HOW IT LOOKS:

Pretty regularly, Mindi has intentional, personal conversations with the members of our family, where she asks some or all of the following questions:

How are you feeling about our relationship?
Have I done anything lately that has made you feel (pick one) – hurt? – frustrated? – angry? – like I am upset with you? – that I don’t approve of you? – that I don’t love you?
Have you been feeling any sense of condemnation from me lately?
How can I act toward you that will make you feel more loved?
How can I pray for you?

Once she’s asked the questions, she really listens for the answers. If there is something she was unaware of for which she needs to apologize… she apologizes. If she discovers a misunderstanding about something she has said or done, she works to clarify it. No matter what she hears, she always works to reassure the person she’s speaking with, of her love for them.

[dropshadowbox align=”right” effect=”lifted-both” width=”250px” height=”” background_color=”#f5e71e” border_width=”1″ border_color=”#dddddd” ]Healthy relationships = erasing the relational slate regularly. – TWEET THIS[/dropshadowbox]

Do you get the idea?

When you truly care about the people in your home, those are the kinds of things you need to be asking.

Why? Because the answers you receive will tell you how you can love them better.

It takes humility and true concern for your family members if you are going to ask questions like these.

But it has to be done.

Conversations like this enable you to clean slate, getting to a place where healthy relationships can thrive.

Nothing is hidden.

Nothing is unknown.

You are honest with each other and able to respond in love to the true needs your loved ones have.

Healthy relationships to target in your home

Spouse
Kids (if they can talk… you can ask some version of these questions)
Parents

The answer you receive will serve your relationships and family well, if you are humble enough to respond well.

CALL TO ACTION:

CHOOSE a “target” loved one.
MAKE your own list of questions (steal some of mine if you want).
DECIDE WHEN you are going to have the conversation.
ASK the questions.
APOLOGIZE where needed.
REASSURE them of the truth where needed.

Archive for healthy emotions