Archive for healthy family

106 - To build a christ centered home - site

To build a Christ-centered home, you go first (Episode 106]

Posted by Carey

· Tuesday, March 20th, 2018

This is the last of the “chapters” in my Family Foundations series, aimed at helping you create a Christ-centered home. In case you haven’t noticed I want to draw two important things to your attention.

#1: So far I’ve said very little about many of the things typically addressed in a series about a Christ-centered home and family.

For example, I’ve hardly mentioned…

Marriage
Parenting
Home life
Finances
Family standards
Discipline of children
Communication
and the list could go on…

Of course, I’ve deliberately neglected those topics, and here’s why:

Those areas are not where you should begin when considering what it means to have a Christ-centered home.

They are the areas of home and family life that will demonstrate the fruit of a Christ-centered home, but not the sources of the fruit. Christ Himself is the source of Christ-centered fruit, and you MUST remember that as you begin thinking about what it will take for you to have a Christ-centered home.

Why is it so important to remember? It goes back to the issue of foundations, as Jesus taught in Matthew 7:24-29. In the final verses (28-29) you can see that the people of His day noticed something different about His teaching.

And when Jesus finished these sayings, the crowds were astonished at his teaching, for he was teaching them as one who had authority, and not as their scribes.

Jesus’ teaching doesn’t just carry authority, His teaching IS authority. It is the very word of God, along with the rest of the Bible… and the life that is built on His teaching is a life that is well-founded, built on the strongest of foundations. Jesus’ way and teaching is the only solid thing that your home or family can be built on, so you must start there. THAT is the beginning of a Christ-centered home.

#2: In this series, so far I’ve focused primarily on YOU, as an individual, not on your family as a group.

Each of us is first of all, responsible for ourselves before we truly can be responsible for others. Your own life is your primary area of stewardship out of which all the others flow. If you are not the best you Christ intends you to be, then the family you are to lead, influence, or contribute to will not be the family Christ intends it to be. In other words, a Christ-centered home is not possible if those who lead it are not Christ-centered themselves.

The word order in the name of this website reflects this truth:

Christian comes first. Before all else you must be a Christian – a Christ-follower, a Christ-like one, a disciple of the King of Kings and LORD of Lords. This is more than a religious title you pin on, it is your identity. Everything else should flow out of who you are in Christ. Stay with me on the blog, and we’ll explore that issue a TON more.

Home comes second. The relationships within your home, beginning with the marriage relationship (with the exception of a single-parent home), are some of the largest stones at the bottom of the walls of your Christ-centered home. The stability of relationship that exists between those leading the home is fundamental to the home’s stability. Don’t get these first two switched around… a home centered on a marriage instead of on Christ, is a home focused on an idol.

and Family comes last (but is often where we begin in thinking about these issues). Your family as a whole can and should be Christ-centered, in how it functions, how it communicates, how it expresses Christ for the world to see, etc. But it can’t and won’t if you get the order of focus switched around. Put Christ first in your life… and then you’ll see more clearly to help the others in your family put Him first in their lives.

Christian – Home – Family. That’s the order. It’s where I began with this series (and this website), and that’s where I end – because it’s the truth that guides and establishes the foundations of a Christ-centered home.

Q: What will you do with what you’ve learned so far?

Q: How will you begin ensuring that Christ is central to your life?

Categories : Marriage, Parenting, Spirit Health

Tags : Christ-centered family, family foundations, family life, healthy family

Monday Mindset: Encouragement in Christ

Posted by Carey

· Monday, July 14th, 2014

New Feature: Monday Mindset

Monday mindset is a new feature of the blog aimed at helping you set your mind for the week to come. Each Monday I’ll focus in on one area that can make an eternal difference for your family. At the end of each post I’ll include “Action Steps” to help you apply the weekly concept in a practical way. I hope you enjoy this weekly mindset adjustment. And I pray that as you implement them, you’ll see the LORD do some wonderful things in your family.

Encouragement in Christ is something we all need…

because none of us is wired to go it alone. From the very beginning God has designed us to live in community, with others alongside. He did so because we need relationships (Genesis 2:18). It is not good for us to be alone. We need support. We need affirmation. We need encouragement.

In His amazing wisdom God has given us a built-in context to receive that encouragement. It’s called a family.

I know, I know, for many people the word “family” only has negative connotations. It was a place of neglect, abuse, or harsh words. It was a place of legalism, harsh demands, or unrealistic expectations.

If that’s you, please know this: What you experienced is not what God created or planned. The power of sin in the world has taken its toll on families as much as it has anything, and because the family is so vital to our health as human beings, damage that happens in a messed up family is particularly painful. The effects of those experiences linger deep in your soul, all the way into the present.

But those chains of dysfunction can be broken… if you will submit them and yourself to the Spirit of God.

Your family can become a place of encouragement. Your family can build positive, godly habits that transform the generations to come. Your family can be a place where the truth of this scripture is lived out day by day…

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “today,” that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin. – Hebrews 3:13

I can’t overstate the power of this kind of encouragement. I can’ stress enough how vital it is to the eternal health of your family.

Notice what the passage says:

Encouragement needs to happen daily. It’s that important.
Encouragement given yesterday is not adequate for today. Every “today” needs its own dose.
Encouragement can prevent sin from hardening people.

That’s some powerful stuff, especially that last point.

But keep reading, or else you might make a tragic mistake!

This passage is not talking about just any kind of encouragement. It’s truly Christian encouragement that matters. Statements like the following won’t have the kind of impact you’re looking for…

“Your hair sure looks nice today.”
“I like the way you did that.”
“You are a very nice person.”

Those are all kind, maybe even loving things to say, but they’re not the kind of encouragement that prevents a hardened heart.

This passage is talking about Christian encouragement, encouragement in Christ.

What does encouragement in Christ look like?

The kind of encouragement your family needs is deeply rooted in the truth of scripture. It takes the form of reminders about the promises of God. It’s found in exhortations toward Spirit-empowered living. It’s a type of encouragement that raises your family’s sights far above the “normal” way of living in this world.

Here’s a few examples:

Today at work, don’t forget that Jesus lives in you. He is ready to empower you for that difficult meeting and to give you confidence in His work through you.
When you go to school today, remember to listen for the leading of the Spirit so that you can live out His best for you.
I’m so encouraged to see what Jesus is doing in your life. I see Him more every day through the patience and kindness you’re showing.

Do you see the difference in these two types of encouragement?

The first kind of encouragement is simply nice. It might make your family members feel good about themselves for a while, but it doesn’t have much eternal value.

The second kind of encouragement is powerful, because it points to eternal truths that feed the soul. It’s truly Christian encouragement… that your family needs.

You can find many, many more examples of this in episode number 39 of the Christian Home and Family podcast, when I had a conversation with Pastor Sam Crabtree about the power of this kind of interaction in the home. Sam has written a wonderful book teaching all about it. It’s called “Practicing Affirmation.” (affiliate link)

Why truly Christian encouragement makes such a difference…

The kind of encouragement that builds up the soul is so vital because day after day your family is assaulted by ungodly ideas and temptations. They need a fresh dose of God’s perspective every single day.

With it, they have a fighting chance. Without it, they are sure to fall prey to the hardening effect of sin.

Don’t leave that to chance… especially when you can do something about it.

Get proactive.

Get intentional.

Stick with it.

The eternal health of your family members is at stake. The generational faith of your lineage could rest on your consistency in providing encouragement in Christ to your family members.

And most of all, God will honor your obedience and faithfulness.

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Below is a video interview featuring Pastor Sam Crabtree. He does a wonderful job of explaining this concept of true Christian encouragement. Grab a cup of coffee, get your pencil and paper and take some notes. You’re about to learn some wonderful stuff that can make an eternal difference in your family!