• Home
  • Christian marriage intensives
  • About
  • Contact
  • Podcast
  • Subscribe

Archive for husbands love your wives

say it to her

Say it to her

Posted by Carey 
· Monday, September 29th, 2014 

Your wife needs you to say it to her.

Don’t assume she knows.

Never assume.

Make sure that the things you value about her are spoken… clearly and often.

When you say it, you will help her beyond what you can imagine.

She’s got deep seated insecurities about herself as a woman. She wonders if she’s woman enough, pretty enough, satisfying enough…

And the enemy assails her with lies about those things every day.

And YOU, her HUSBAND are the only one who can dispel those lies. You’re the only one who can help her know the truth about herself.

Your wife needs you to say it to her.

What is it she needs to hear you say?

Here’s a starter list, but you need to come up with one of your own based on your experience together, based on what is true of your wife and your knowledge of her.

Guys, take this seriously.

You don’t know how much it could do for your wife, if you’d only say it to her.

  • I’d marry you all over again.
  • You make me happy.
  • I can’t get enough of you.
  • I want to spend more time with you.
  • You are beautiful.
  • Divorce is never an option.
  • You are all woman.
  • Let’s plan a weekend getaway just for the two of us.
  • I long for more of you.
  • Your emotions are never a bother to me.
  • I love caring for you.
  • I’d give my life to save yours.
  • I’m in this with you.
  • I’m glad you’re the mother of my children.
  • You make me feel like a man.
  • After Christ, You are God’s greatest blessing to me.
  • I’m glad I married you.
  • What you feel matters to me.
  • I’ll never leave you.
  • When can I have some alone time with you?
  • You are enough.
  • Do you know that I’d never trade you for anyone else?
  • I love your ___________________ (laugh, smile, face, eyes, etc.).
  • I value you more than anything.
  • You are a gift to me.
  • My heart is fully yours.
  • You don’t have to worry about me being faithful to you, because I am and always will be.
  • You satisfy me.
  • How is your heart?
  • I enjoy learning more about you.
  • I’m proud of you.
  • I see Jesus in you in this way…
  • I never get tired of you.
  • Would you like to go on a date with me?
  • I missed you today.
  • Do you know how much I love you?
  • I’m captivated by you.
  • I’m glad we can walk through the difficulties of life together.
  • I love you more today than I did yesterday.
  • There’s no person more important to me than you.
  • I care about what you feel.
  • I want to understand you more and more.
  • I love your heart.

Say it to her

Husbands, don’t just read this list and nod your head.

Don’t just think of it as a good idea.

Take action. Call her. Go to her.

Now.

Tell her how you really feel.

Say it to her.

Then… say it again. Every day.

Tell her over and over and over.

In time, she’ll come to believe it.

But she never will if you don’t say it to her.

What if you can’t say it to her?

This will sound harsh – but you need to repent.

You’ve allowed your eyes or mind or heart to be drawn away from the wonderful gift the LORD gave you.

I know there may be hurts that have caused it. I know she may deserve your rejection.

But I also know that you are called by God to lover her like Jesus loves His church (Ephesians 5:25). And I know that God has given you His Holy Spirit to enable you to do it.

That’s a calling of self-sacrifice, not self-defense. It’s a calling to be the most noble example of manhood that exists; a self-giving, lay-down-your-life-for-her manliness that our world hardly sees anymore.

You can do it because Jesus is in you. He desires to do it through you.

So repent and start making things right with your wife.

Apologize for your part in the pain. Tell her that you want more, that you want God’s best for your marriage.

And get help if you need it.

Don’t let pride or hurt or humiliation or fear keep you from acting.

Be a man. Be a man of God and watch God to the work of restoration.

Here’s a love song that stirs my heart every time I hear it.

Listen to the devotion and depth of emotion in the voice of the man who sings this.

Imagine what he must feel for his dear wife.

And let it move you. Let it motivate you to love your wife well.

Then, go say what you need to say.

This song is from Jenny and Tyler. It’s called, “As Long as Our Hearts are Beating.”

 

Go to top
FacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
Categories : Family Foundations, Marriage
Tags : husbands love your wives, marriage healing, marriage hurts, say it to her

Do you live with your wife in an understanding way? – an event opportunity for married men

Posted by Carey 
· Saturday, January 4th, 2014 

One of the passages that the LORD has graciously used to kindly “beat me up” since the early days of my marriage is 1 Peter 3:7

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1 Peter 3:7

Over the years I’ve learned (many times the “hard way”) what it means to live with Mindi in an “understanding way” as Peter instructs.

It’s more than:

  • being nice
  • providing income
  • being at home (instead of at the bar, the gym, the office, etc.)
  • not yelling
  • helping out with the dishes now and then
  • not leaving your underwear on the floor…

It’s about HER.

Guys… we have got to learn to UNDERSTAND our spouses. Peter says that when we live with them in that way… things are being done God’s way.

An event for married men

For the longest time, I’ve had a heart to share what I’ve learned in this area with those who need it most.

Married men.

Married Christian men who want more for their marriages but may not know exactly how to accomplish it.

I know you guys… you truly WANT to care for your wife well, but you’re like me sometimes:

  • proud
  • defensive
  • uncertain what to do
  • confused by the differences between how you think and feel and how she thinks and feels

Did I get it right?

I’ve finally sensed the LORD telling me it’s time… to put on an event for men that will help us, together, to explore some of those issues and come out on the other side better equipped to love our wives as we really want to.

It’s called:

LOGOBANNER

It’s intentionally going to be for a small group of men -8 to 10, max. If there is a greater demand than that… I’ll schedule more of these events.

It’s a small-group format because I think it’s important that we have time to discuss and that everyone has the opportunity to express the details of their own situation and their own frustrations.

That’s how we can know how to best help each other as brothers in Christ.

uwwAnd that’s how we’ll be able to discern the best way to apply the truths of scripture to the situations we face.

It’s going to be a great time… and I’d love to see you there.

As I said – space is limited, so if you are at all interested, don’t wait. (But I will start a waiting list if needed).

Thanks guys… I pray God’s blessing on you, your wife, and your marriage.

FacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
Categories : Marriage
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, husbands love your wives, men's weekend, understanding way
communication in marriage

Is your wife SAFE with you?

Posted by Carey 
· Tuesday, July 31st, 2012 

is your wife safe with youIt may sound like a silly question, but I’m not joking… because God doesn’t joke about the way Christian husbands are to love their wives. You and I are to love our wives in a way that reflects the love that Jesus has for His bride, the church (Ephesians 5:25).

In our first years of marriage the LORD used that truth to hammer me… hard. I can recall innumerable times when He confronted me with my own insensitivity to the person I loved the most (my wife).  I remember His Spirit taking me back to Ephesians 5:25, asking me, “Where is the love in how you are treating her?” I discovered that if I am not intentionally aiming at Christ-like love toward her, I will naturally cause her to feel “unsafe” with me.

So… I ask you, “Is your wife SAFE with you?”  Here’s a “checklist” to help you evaluate…

  • Does she feel safe to express her disagreement with you? (Or do you act threatened, defensive, or become intimidating when she does?)
  • Is she confident that her emotional struggles will never wear you out? (Or have you caused her to feel that her emotions are too much for you?)
  • While we’re on the subject, does she feel cared for in her emotions? (Or does she feel like you just tolerate her emotions?)
  • When she “nags” you (intentionally or unintentionally) is she assured of your love anyway? (Or does she feel that if she says it one more time, it’s gonna’ get ugly?)
  • During “that time of the month” does she know you’ll be extra understanding and tender? (Or does she fear that you’ll once again be irritated and unfeeling toward her struggle?)
  • Does she feel that you really hear her when she shares her heart? (Or are you going through the motions and not really understanding her?)
  • Does she trust you with her heart to the point she opens it up to you? (Or is she guarded because of your careless responses in the past?)
  • Is she physically safe with you? (Or do you use your size, loudness, and physical presence to back her into a place of fearful submission?)

We men can be pretty insensitive. Abrasive. Cold. Calloused. Not always intentionally, but simply because we are men.  Sadly, our wives are the ones we can be the most insensitive toward, when we are supposed to be living with them in a much different way (1 Peter 3:7).

As Christians, we are entirely SAFE with Jesus.

  • His motives are unquestionable. Whatever He does toward us, we can be fully assured that He is doing it out of love (Romans 8:35-39).
  • His track record is spotless. He’s not only told us that He loves us, He’s proved it in the most extreme way imaginable (Romans 5:8)
  • His word truly is His bond. Whatever He has promised (2 Peter 3:13; 1 John 2:25), we can be assured He will do.
  • THEREFORE we are entirely SAFE with Him. We can trust Him with the entirety of who we are.

THAT is how we Christian husbands

are to love our wives.

So once again…

Christian husband, is your wife SAFE with you?

is your wife safe with you

FacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailFacebooktwitterredditpinterestlinkedinmailby feather
Categories : Marriage
Tags : 1 Peter 3:7, abusive Christian husband, abusive men, Christian family, Christian home, Christian marriage, Ephesians 5:25, husbands love your wives, is your wife safe, marriage, tips for husbands
Christian Home and Family
Copyright © 2022 All Rights Reserved
iThemes Builder by iThemes
Powered by WordPress