Your husband needs you to say it to him.
Don’t assume he knows.
Never assume.
Make sure that the things you value about him are spoken… clearly and often.
When you say it, you will help him beyond what you can imagine.
As a man, he’s got deep seated insecurities about himself. He wonders if he’s man enough, strong enough, capable enough. You may think he doesn’t struggle with that kind of stuff, but that’s just because he’s snowed you, and possibly himself. The doubt and insecurities are there.
They’re why he gets angry and defensive so quickly. Why compassion is not one of his strong suits. It’s why he is so driven at work, play, and everything else.
He’s trying to prove himself: to you, to himself, and maybe to a parent (living or dead) or a critical teacher or coach from his past.
And the enemy assails him with lies about those things every day.
And YOU, his WIFE are the only one who can dispel those lies. You’re the only one who can help him know the truth about himself.
Your husband needs you to say it to him.
What is it he needs to hear you say?
Here’s a starter list, but you need to come up with a list of your own based on your experience together.
Ladies please, take this seriously.
You don’t know how much it could do for your husband, if you’d only say it to him.
- I’d marry you all over again.
- You make me happy.
- I can’t get enough of you.
- I want to spend more time with you.
- You are handsome.
- I never want to leave you.
- You are all man.
- Let’s plan a weekend getaway just for the two of us.
- I long for more of you.
- Your goals are important to me.
- I love caring for you.
- I want you to know how proud I am of you.
- I’m in this with you.
- I’m glad you’re the father of our children.
- You make me feel like a woman.
- After Christ, You are God’s greatest blessing to me.
- I’m glad I married you.
- What you think matters to me.
- When can I have some alone time with you?
- Do you know that I’d never trade you for anyone else?
- I love your ___________________ (laugh, smile, face, eyes, etc.).
- I value you more than anything.
- You are a gift to me.
- My heart is fully yours.
- You don’t have to worry about me being faithful to you, because I am and always will be.
- You satisfy me.
- How are you doing, really?
- I enjoy learning more about you.
- I’m thankful for how you provide for the family.
- I see Jesus in you in this way…
- I never get tired of you.
- Would you like to go on a date with me?
- I missed you today.
- Do you know how much I love you?
- I’m so drawn to your manliness.
- I’m glad we can walk through the difficulties of life together.
- I love you more today than I did yesterday.
- There’s no person more important to me than you.
- I care about what is important to you.
- I want to understand you more and more.
- I love your heart.
Say it to him.
Wives, don’t just read this list and nod your head.
Don’t just think of it as a good idea.
Take action. Call him. Go to him.
Now.
Tell him how you really feel.
Say it to him.
Then… say it again. Every day.
Tell him over and over and over.
In time, he’ll come to believe it.
But he never will if you don’t say it to him.
What if you can’t say it to him?
This will sound harsh – but you need to repent.
You’ve allowed your eyes or mind or heart to be drawn away from the wonderful gift the LORD gave you.
I know there may be hurts that have caused it. I know he may deserve your rejection.
But I also know that you are called by God to love and respect Him (Ephesians 5:33). And I know that God has given you His Holy Spirit to enable you to do it. It’s important because that respect is part of what will enable him to overcome his insecurities and anger and pride.
That’s a calling of self-sacrifice, not self-defense. It’s a calling to be the most noble example of womanhood that exists; a self-giving, serve-him-when-he-doesn’t-deserve-it womanliness that our world hardly sees anymore.
You can do it because Jesus is in you. He desires to do it through you.
So repent and start making things right with your husband.
Apologize for your part in the pain. Tell him that you want more, that you want God’s best for your marriage.
Don’t let pride or hurt or humiliation or fear keep you from acting.
Be woman of God and watch God to the work of restoration.
Here’s a love song that stirs my heart every time I hear it.
Imagine what your husband would feel if he knew that these were your feelings toward him.
Let it move you. Let it motivate you to love your husband well.
Then, go say what you need to say.
This song is from Jenny and Tyler. It’s called, “As Long as Our Hearts are Beating.”
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