The choice to be a stay at home mom is often misunderstood
… by friends
… by family
… by society at large.
Too often, it’s seen as a “second rate” decision,
or that women who make the choice to be a stay at home mom are somehow behind the times or unenlightened.
But it’s not… it’s a decision made on the basis of conviction and priority.
I’m not saying that no mom should ever work outside the home…
But I will say that if you’re going to make that decision, you’d better know two things…
- What your God-given priorities are.
- How your decision to work outside the home is going to affect them.
There is biblical precedence for a mom/wife to contribute the the family income (Proverbs 31:16, 24), so I’d never say it shouldn’t happen.
But there’s a greater emphasis on her loving her husband and children through working diligently at making a home (Titus 2:4-5).
In my understanding of the scriptures, if a woman can do that well, then she’s free to take on additional responsibilities.
If she’s not able to do that well, then she already has her work cut out for her.
What I told my kids about their stay at home mom…
When Mindi and I first married, we talked through these issues.
We decided that when we began to have children, she would be staying home.
What was most important to us was…
- That we raise our kids, not some unknown day-care worker or relative.
- That Mindi be the one who was available when those important questions came to the kids’ minds.
- That we be able to carry out the instruction of Deuteronomy 6:4-5 each and every day, 24/7.
We did so with a very keen awareness of what the world around us thought of our decision.
So I decided that as the kids grew older,
I was going to make sure THEY understood her decision to be a stay at home mom…
…even if nobody else did.
I still remember the conversation I had with Aaron and Melinda (our two oldest children).
It went something like this…
Do you know how important you are?
You are so important, your mommy decided that she wanted to be with you at home.
She is very smart, and could have chosen to get a job where she could do lots of important things, and make lots of money.
But she thought it was more important to set aside all her time to be at home with you.
There are many things she’s good at, that she could have chosen to spend her time on.
But she decided that you were more important, so she chose to stay at home for your sake.
I remember the look of wonder in their eyes, the look of the lights going on…
Mommy chose them over everything else.
That made a difference to them.
And it made a difference to her that I told the kids about it.
It made her feel…
And she was (is).
Thank you Mindi, my love. You are one of the most intelligent, competent women I’ve ever known…
and you are investing your life in eternity, every day, at home.