20 steps to make sure your kids are stressed:

1. Make sure YOU are stressed. They learn to be stressed kids best by example.

2. Do your best to live without any personal boundaries. Again, example counts.

3. Get them involved in every sport, activity, and opportunity that is offered. You don’t want the other kids to outpace them.

4. Never allow for “time off.” That sabbath thing was on Old Testament deal anyway.

5. Push them to walk, talk, read, hit a baseball, etc. before any of the other kids their age. They need to learn to be a high achiever at an early age.

6. Focus on winning most of all. Being second only means they are the first loser.

7. Don’t organize the household or keep any kind of predictable schedule.

8. Never talk with them about their concerns, fears, or challenges. It’s a hard world and they need to learn to be tough.

9. Make sure that you and your spouse have lots of loud arguments, and make sure they can hear you.

10. Emphasize good grades… a lot.

11. Keep a serious tone in your household. Laughter is way overrated.

12. Insist on them performing for everyone who comes to visit. Piano, singing, ballet, art – whatever they do, make sure they do it for guests.

13. Don’t give them any boundaries. Limits are stifling.

14. Repeat these words of wisdom over and over – “Every minute counts.” / “If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right.”

15. Don’t have any kind of a regular bed-time.

16. Make sure they don’t get any alone time. You don’t want them to be a hermit, do you?

17. Let them watch horror movies.

18. Tell them that you are never stressed.

19. Never tell them you love them, are proud of them, or are thankful for them.

20. Feed them processed, sugary, low-nutrient foods. They need to keep up their energy levels.

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