Created to be his helpmeet?
Our daughter, Maddi, just got a new puppy. She saved up her paychecks all summer, did the research, picked the breed, and purchased all the supplies she would need.We’ve been very impressed at the way she went about the whole thing – and as a result “Little Man” is now asleep in the next room in his kennel.
During the research process, on more than one occasion, Maddi asked me to help her find some information on the internet. So, I helped her. You could truthfully say that I was her “helper” in the puppy research project she was doing. I could take offense at being referred to as her “helper,” (Oh, I see… I’m just the “helper”…..), but it would be silly to do so. Yet, that’s what many wives do when they are taught from the Bible that in relation to their husbands they are created to be his helpmeet or helper.
The vital question:
Wives, if you have been created to be his helpmeet, you need to find out the answer to this question if you want it to make sense:
In other words, what are you to help him WITH? Here’s the bullet list of what I understand the biblical teaching to be:
- God created Adam first, alone, without Eve (the one created to be HIS helpmeet). – Genesis 2:7-23
- This “created first” status was God’s way of designating Adam as the leader of the soon-to-be relationship. – 1 Timothy 2:12-13; 1 Corinthians 11:13; Ephesians 5:23
- God gave Adam (and Eve, as his helper) the mission of filling the earth with a righteous, godly race of people, and managing the created world for the glory of God. – Genesis 1:28
That is the answer to the question. Wives are created to be his helpmeet in carrying out God’s initial command to the first-ever parents.
THAT COMMAND IS: To build a legacy of believing, faithful people (their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren) who can rightly lead in and care for the created world, so that God gets the glory.
A simple question to all those created to be his helpmeet
Is that a mission you can get on board with? I know very few women who would say, “No.”
The idea of being your husband’s helper in no way implies that you are inferior, less-than, incompetent, or lacking in value. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Let’s go back to the puppy for a minute…
Maddi asked me to help because I spend a good deal of time every week on the internet – working on this website and studying for my weekly sermons. The fact that she asked me indicates that I had some knowledge or skill that she needed in order to get her task completed.
The same is true in the husband wife roles. The husband has been appointed by God as the leader, but that doesn’t make him infallible or ultra-capable. It only makes him responsible. He needs help if he’s going to fulfill the mission he’s been given. In fact, the very nature of the mission makes it impossible for him to do it alone. He needs the help of his wife – the one created to be his helpmeet – because God wired her with things uniquely suited to the task of helping him lead out in their God-given mission.
I see this plainly in my own marriage and parenting:
- Mindi is much more intuitive about parenting than I am.
- Mindi is much more tuned in to the kids’ needs.
- Mindi is better able to draw them out, nurture them, and care for their hearts.
- In many ways, Mindi is better at applying the truths of scripture to the relational issues of life than I am.
- Mindi is the EXACT helper I need to carry out God’s mission.
None of that means that I’m off the hook to parent in a tuned-in, proactive, nurturing way. It only means that I must humbly work together with my wife as she helps me lead the family well.
The mission carried out
As my new friend Rob Rienow says, “Families are the discipleship centers” of the world. We parents are responsible before God to:
- Develop our own vibrant, intimate Christian walk with the LORD.
- Grow and nurture a marriage which forms the basis for a Christ-centered home.
- Pass that along in vital, every-day ways to our family.
Did you notice that process? – Christian – Home – Family (sounds like a website I heard about). It’s the way God planned it, and it starts with a right understanding of husband wife roles.