why kids rebel :: Christian Home and Family

Why Kids Rebel

I went on a “date” with my youngest son Caleb last week. I try to go out with each of the kids, at least once a month. My purpose is to have fun, talk, find out what’s going on in their hearts and minds, and love on them through some one-on-one time.

This time, the LORD was faithful to give me some insight about parenting from my own son. He showed me one of the main reasons why kids rebel.

We went hiking in the foothills of the collegiate peaks just outside our little town and we eventually found a large rock in the shade and started talking. As I asked Caleb about his life, I finally hit on this question…

“What kind of man do you want to be?”

The tears began to flow immediately… and I waited for his response. He said,

I want to be the kind of man God wants me to be.

That’s exactly what I wanted to hear, but I wasn’t satisfied, so I asked him, “And what does that kind of man look like?” He thought a bit and then answered,

I want to be a good husband and dad. I want to work hard and be a good example to my family. I want my kids to see what it is like to love and follow Jesus.

YES! That’s what I wanted to hear! It’s those kinds of responses that show me how faithful God has been to us as his parents! But his answer begged another question. I asked if he felt that his parents were good examples. Thankfully, he said, “Yes.” (Whew!)

Then before I knew it, this question was coming out of my mouth: “What do you think it would be like for you if your mom and I were NOT good examples?”

He waited, and then laughingly said, “It’s never happened, so I don’t know!” (which I’m sure is not entirely true). The LORD nudged me, so I nudged Caleb a bit further…

“Caleb, imagine… what would it be like for you if your mom and I told you all the Christian things we tell you now, but we didn’t do them ourselves? For example, what if we only took you guys to church once a month? What if we hardly ever had family devotions or family time? What if we didn’t pray together very much? How would you feel?”

That’s when my 12 year old taught me why kids rebel…

I wouldn’t feel like I’d really need to obey you because it wouldn’t seem like what you were saying was very important.

“And what if we got mad at you because you weren’t obeying us? What if we punished you for not doing the things we told you, but we still weren’t doing them? What would you feel then?”

He didn’t hesitate as he said through tears,

I’d be confused… and angry.